Coming To Grips With Your Own Mortality

[Scuba]

Thanks. At some level it's already getting better. I go in for the chemo treatments mid August. Not sure what that will be like. Mainly hoping for a non-event and to get off the steroids.



There were a few other posts where members wished me will, will be in their prayers . . . Thank you very much. Thankfully I'm doing pretty good with the positive attitude and I'm thankful for the support I've received from friends, family and of course - FIRE forum friends. Thanks!

Best wishes for your treatment and recovery, Jerry. Glad you’re feeling positive …between your positive attitude and the support system you have, you’re ahead of the game.

 

[Jerry1]

another name for Prednisone is "the devil's tic-tac" well earned I might add. Be well.

Yep. That’s what I’m on and can’t wait to get off. They gave me such a high dose in the hospital that it caused internal bleeding and I had to get a couple units of blood. That’s under control but I can still feel the impact of the steroid even at the dose they have me on. I guess I’ll never get completely off it. They call the infusion “steroid reducing therapy”, but they described the potential future dose to be minuscule.

 

[Aerides]

On a lighter note on this topic:

At 28 I was hospitalized for many weeks due to a surgical error in an outpatient surgery. Yay me. I wasn't ill by a disease, but I was super infected as a result of the surgery, many procedures needed, feeding bags and drips, central line IV, totally medically dependent, painkillers, heavy duty antiboitics...Fun stuff.

5 weeks in I was transferred to a new hospital, better equipped for my case. During check in, they asked my religion. Not wanting to bother explaining Church of England to the receptionist, and not really caring much either way, I said "Catholic" as my husband was, yet neither of us were practicing anything.

About a week later (still very much aware I was touch and go)....A priest walks into my hospital room. I swear in that moment I was in absolute terror, figured he'd been sent in to give me last rites! He's lucky I didn't scream at him to get out...

Nah, he was just there to invite me to attend the service in the on-site chapel and take communion that Sunday...but of course I couldn't...and no way was I going to confess my lie, or attend and take communion when I can't...so I basically fibbed and said Oh I hope to be going home before then and I'll go to my home church soon! He came back a few times as I was there well past that Sunday, but I kept piling on the BS....

Yeah I'm fine now, but probably going to hell for that...

 

[Koolau]

About a week later (still very much aware I was touch and go)....A priest walks into my hospital room. I swear in that moment I was in absolute terror, figured he'd been sent in to give me last rites! He's lucky I didn't scream at him to get out...

Reminds me of a co-w*rker's (John) experience (well, the experience of my entire plant site.) The guy went into a coughing fit at w*rk and began coughing up blood. The ambulance rushed him to the hospital. A couple of days later, the word was that John had perhaps a week or 10 days before his demise. We were all shocked and dejected to say the least.

Imagine John himself, sitting in the hospital when the bosses and HR showed up in his room with long faces. He greeted them warmly and it took a while before they got around to "advising" him how to plan his "exit" from the company (options would be to retire or not retire and exercise some other options IIRC.)

John had no idea at first what they were talking about as he had not been informed that he was terminal. Well, it turns out that his son (age 18 - and working on our plant site's summer program) had talked to the docs and misinterpreted when they suggested that john had "maybe a week or 10 days to REMAIN in the hospital." He had come back to the plant and told everyone that his dad was dying and had just a short time left.

Once we got over the shock and then relief, it was a pretty funny story to tell once John showed up for w*rk a couple of weeks later. Turns out his coughing fit (probably bronchitis) had torn some blood vessels in his throat. Dangerous, but quite reparable.

Years later, John retired and had several years of FT RVing. Unfortunately he died in his mid 60s during a relatively routine stent intervention. I guess none of us gets out of here alive. YMMV

 

[target2019]

Thanks. At some level it's already getting better. I go in for the chemo treatments mid August. Not sure what that will be like. Mainly hoping for a non-event and to get off the steroids.

There were a few other posts where members wished me will, will be in their prayers . . . Thank you very much. Thankfully I'm doing pretty good with the positive attitude and I'm thankful for the support I've received from friends, family and of course - FIRE forum friends. Thanks!

If it's chemo it's rougher than getting infusion of something. For example, I got two bags of chemo stuff and a bag of saline during. You sit in a comfy chair and the nice nurses give you comfort and do what they can to offset your thoughts about the reality of it.

If it's infusion of blood or a saline solution with a drug to reverse that prednisone effect, it can still upset your well-being and cause discomfort after.

On the drive home I was a cranky old man. Lol, more than usual. Getting a bag or two of liquid in you is a compelling event!

Since it takes more time than you want to spend there make sure you have a tablet, phone, special treat, etc. Say yes to everything, like a coffee, soda, juice box, sandwich, and so on.

I've been there a lot, and still go monthly for checkup and bloodwork, I noticed that the caregivers needed me to be a certain person so that they could be calm and meticulous about their job.

It will work for you, I'm sure.

 

[Car-Guy]

Imagine John himself, sitting in the hospital when the bosses and HR showed up in his room with long faces. He greeted them warmly and it took a while before they got around to "advising" him how to plan his "exit" from the company (options would be to retire or not retire and exercise some other options IIRC.)

I recall something similar that happened within my mega corp... An employee was on his death bed in the hospital and "management" visited him and had him sign his retirement papers telling him it would better financially for his family. I often wonder if that was true or if they just didn't want him to pass on as an employee vs retiree... (it wasn't a job related illness)... Anyway, in his case he died a few days later.

 

[Koolau]

I recall something similar that happened within my mega corp... An employee was on his death bed in the hospital and "management" visited him and had him sign his retirement papers telling him it would better financially for his family. I often wonder if that was true or if they just didn't want him to pass on as an employee vs retiree... (it wasn't a job related illness)... Anyway, in his case he died a few days later.

Back in those days (when John and I were co-w*rkers) we had near total trust in our management and even in HR. Most of them were from our ranks. HR wasn't generally a stepping stone to higher mgmt.

By the time I was leaving, no one in HR and local mgmt had been there more than 3 years. Everyone was on their way some place else. Our little corner of the world was just a place to gain skills and then move on to Corporate. Trust was no more. It was sad to watch the changes take place. I guess I have to feel good that at least, at one time, it was a great place to w*rk. YMMV

 

[TheWizard]

I don't get the joke!

That was Jack Benny's reply to the pistol-waving robber's demand: "Your money or your life!"...

 

[ls99]

I am getting to the age appreciating George Burns' line: If I wake up in the morning and nothing hurts, I must be dead.

 

[aja8888]

Yep. That’s what I’m on and can’t wait to get off. They gave me such a high dose in the hospital that it caused internal bleeding and I had to get a couple units of blood. That’s under control but I can still feel the impact of the steroid even at the dose they have me on. I guess I’ll never get completely off it. They call the infusion “steroid reducing therapy”, but they described the potential future dose to be minuscule.

Jerry, I wish you the best and that the treatments and recovery. Be tough and hang in there.

My DW has advanced COPD and was fed a huge amount of Prednisone over the last 5 years. She now has osteoporosis and lost 5" in height since receiving the steroid doses (the steroid works wonders to open up lung passages). Plus, a few of her vertebrae cracked after bending over at her nightstand and had to be surgically glued together. Steroids are bad news. DW takes a very small dose of it now and then. But the damage is done and she's using a walker now to be safe from falling.

Be careful on how much Prednisone they are offering although I am sure you are aware of this.

 

[FindingForward]

Was thinking about this ER thread as I read this - sometimes it's the ordinary little day-to-day things that suddenly drive the idea home:

https://humbledollar.com/2022/07/fa..._medium=email&utm_campaign=another-ses-test_7

 

[rk911]

Was thinking about this ER thread as I read this - sometimes it's the ordinary little day-to-day things that suddenly drive the idea home:

https://humbledollar.com/2022/07/fa..._medium=email&utm_campaign=another-ses-test_7

we've done a lot of home remodeling over the years, remodeled all but one room. as we did the main level rooms we pulled up the carpet and put down hardwood (oak) floorings. looks great. but when I was shopping for it I was faced with two choices for the same flooring. option A was a bit more expensive but carried an actual lifetime warranty. option B was less expensive..same flooring...but carried a 20-year warranty. as I was 60-something at the time I smiled at the sales pesons and chose option B and told him that 20-years likely WAS a lifetime warranty for me.

i'd be lying if I said my own mortality hasn't crossed my mind but it's not fear of dying so much as fear of dying before my plans for providing care for my wife are 100% set.

 

[Yoheadden]

https://images.app.goo.gl/8J8Y73qUUg4YXtZEA

It’s our choice

 

[Luvtoride]

This is why an advocate with authority is so important. Not all of us have such a person, but it is worth the effort to find such a person. YMMV

I am very lucky have my DW, who is a nurse and refuses to leave my side when a medical issue arises.
Last week, I was experiencing bloody noses. After several episodes and seeing an ENT who cauterized a spot in my nose it happened again but was gushing out (I am on blood thinners for Afib). She took me to the emergency room in the middle of the night and stayed with me by my side while the ER doctor and nurse tried to stop my bleeding. After packing both my nostrils I was admitted to the hospital where she insisted on coming up to my room with me at 7am, despite the hospital’s “no visitors until 11am” policy. Fortunately she was with me when the hospital ENT specialist arrived at 10am to discuss my treatment!
I can’t imagine not having her with me and wish that everyone had such an advocate with them for medical emergencies/ issues.
BTW, I’m doing well now and was released from hospital the following day and had packs removed the day after that. Fingers crossed [emoji1694] all stays well.

 

[Luvtoride]

That's true. I can't control when I'll die but I can control my fitness and diet. It may not help me live longer but it will add quality of life to my day to day living.

I truly believe that it's harder to live out of shape all day every day than it is to exercise and eat right.

Amen! Control what you CAN!

 

[Pellice]

I am listening to an audio version of John Muir's "A Thousand Mile Walk to the Gulf," a rough diary of his botanical trek by foot from Indiana to Florida, in 1867, only a couple of years after the Civil War. He was out of money and spent several nights sleeping in Bonaventure Cemetary near Savannah, which he saw as one of the most beautiful places he had ever visited. He wrote this, which struck me in light of this discussion:

The rippling of living waters, the song of birds, the joyous confidence of flowers, the calm undisturbable gandeur of oaks, mark this place of graves as one of the Lord's most favored abodes of life and light. On no subject are our ideas more warped and pitiable than on death. Instead of the sympathy, the friendly union, of life and death so apparent in nature, we are taught that death is an accident, a deplorable punishment for the oldest sin, the archenemy of life, etc.