Funny Joke Thread 2021 to ?

[NW-Bound]

At a social gathering, the lady from Boston said "In Boston, we put our emphasis entirely on breeding".

And the lady from Philadelphia said "In Philadelphia, we think it's a lot of fun, but we do other things too".

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Time2]

Compliments

 

[Walt34]

Wise man:

 

[Jeb-NY]

Benny: What is a bachelor?

Jackie: A man who hasn't thought seriously about getting married?

Benny: No, A man who HAS thought seriously about getting married.

 

[Car-Guy]

A little more Pee humor.

 

[Time2]

A little more Pee humor.

But, we haven't yet determined if two masks makes others safe from your pee.

 

[Car-Guy]

Two grandmas, Agnes and Mary, are meeting at a café.
They’re having a nice chat over cake and coffee when suddenly Agnes remarks, “Um, Mary, you seem to have a suppository stuck in your left ear…”
Mary is surprised and fishes the suppository out of her ear, looks at it for a while and sighs, “Well I guess I know where to find my hearing aid then.”

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

adsf

 

[REWahoo]

...

 

[Car-Guy]

Had few like this.... Well pretty close anyway...

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

asd

Deleted

 

[Car-Guy]

 

[Car-Guy]

Judge: Silence in court! The next person who laughs again will be thrown out of court.
Accused: Hahahaha
Judge: I wasn't talking to you!

 

[38Chevy454]

Why don't ambulances have trailer hitches?

So lawyers don't hitch themselves on...

 

[Jeb-NY]

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

asdf

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

asd

 

[Backpacker]

My friend Jack claims he can communicate with vegetables. Apparently Jack and the beans talk.

 

[REWahoo]

...

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

asdd

 

[Jeb-NY]

Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandparents for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, 'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'

His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth. 'Well, Hunter, it's called sexual intercourse.

‘Oh,’ Little Hunter said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandpa, it isn't Called sexual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s mom wants to talk to you.'

 

[frayne]

The Beaujolais Bistro
A group of 40-year-old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Beaujolais Bistro because the waitresses there have low-cut blouses and really short skirts.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Beaujolais Bistro because the food there is very good and the wine selection is excellent.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Beaujolais Bistro because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke-free.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Beaujolais Bistro because the restaurant is wheelchair accessible and they even have an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Beaujolais Bistro because everyone's heard it's good and they've never been there before.

 

[Jeb-NY]

I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, "Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. "I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.”

I felt sorry for him, so I asked, "What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”

"Oh no, nothing like that," he said. "No, no.... I was paroled."

 

[Time2]

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