A common saying is, "Half of life is just showing up." Perhaps the 21st century version is, "Half of life is just communicating." This year I've witnssed a significant deterioration in communication with friends, family, and others. I don't know what it is. Covid fallout? For example, there have been several instances of people asking me for something, like "Can I borrow that repair tool?" or "Can we meet next Wednesday?" And, I'll reply affirmatively, and then crickets. Did they change their mind? Don't need that tool? Were they expecting me to deliver it? I've encountered this at least once per month this year. The crickets phase happened twice this week alone. It was not this bad as recently as a few years ago. What's the deal? I've later confirmed my replies did reach them, so I've begun to ignore requests from repeat offenders.
Half of Life...
- Thread starter GrayHare
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Just more evidence of, by my observation, people's continuing abdication of respect for other people. I noticed it creeping in as far back as the 90's. But I stopped working in 1996 and had less and less to do with other people since then, especially when it came to dealing with people's personal reliability. So, I haven't been monitoring it too closely.
easysurfer
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I believe the current, hip, term today for ignoring is called "Ghosting" 
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aja8888
Moderator Emeritus
A lot of my friends (mostly over 70 years old) are starting to act like the OP says. However, they are just losing brain cells due to being alive too long. And, in most cases, they don't remember what went on yesterday. 
Koolau
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A lot of my friends (mostly over 70 years old) are starting to act like the OP says. However, they are just losing brain cells due to being alive too long. And, in most cases, they don't remember what went on yesterday.
Some of us in our late 70s are just getting tired, I think.
YMMVMaybe this is a form of ghosting. I considered it to be ghosting when I received no reply to a request. In this case, these people are effectively ghosting themselves. They want something, I agree, and then they don't communicate again. Maybe I need to be less helpful and more confrontational. "So, you want to borrow something. Exactly why should I loan it to you?"
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easysurfer
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Could try some reverse psychology. Using the borrowing a tool as an example. Say if the neighbor makes a verbal arrangement but then ghosts you. Instead of waiting for the person to follow through go with the "you snooze, you lose" approach. Then when the neighbor asks "Where is the tool?" you say "Since I never heard back from you, I assumed you were no longer interested..."
That might "train"
the neighbor to follow through better next time.MC Rider
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Where is the tool?
Too late. I sold it.
I don't like loaning tools. They ghost you after they get the tool.
Too late. I sold it.
I don't like loaning tools. They ghost you after they get the tool.
easysurfer
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Where is the tool?
Too late. I sold it.
I don't like loaning tools. They ghost you after they get the tool.
If not ghost, some borrowers also misuse and treat tools like a rental car
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target2019
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Reply through TikTok? Make your reply into a dance?
Social constructs have changed I suppose.
Social constructs have changed I suppose.
If not ghost, some borrowers also misuse and treat tools like a rental car
The guy I loaned my chainsaw used it with the chain brake on throughout and complained that the chainsaw didn't work very well.
Never again. Not loaning tools ever.We bought tickets to a music festival in August for ourselves and our friends. Their half was $1,500, but they were traveling, and we said no worries, it's on our credit card, which isn't due until next month. Three months go by, and we have met them a couple times for dinner, discussed the festival, and there is no mention of the $1,500. Now it's getting awkward. Finally, wife has to gently remind them of the cost. Paid us last week, four months late, after multiple ghostings.
pacergal
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That has happened to DH and I both, mostly with former co workers. A text "let's get together for lunch" we reply "sure, where and when?" and never hear from them again.
We have learned to simply let it go.
We have learned to simply let it go.
If not ghost, some borrowers also misuse and treat tools like a rental car
This has happened to me too.
There is now exactly ONE person in the entire world who I would loan a tool to. He's an airplane mechanic and has probably invested in his tools about what we have in our house so he certainly doesn't need to borrow any of mine. But if he asked I'd loan it to him because he's the only one I know who would use it properly, would take care of it, and would return it.
Stormy Kromer
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Back to the OP. I agree completely, communication skills have deteriorated since voicemail, email, texting and social media that I don't even know about have taken over.
Major Tom
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I haven't noticed it but then, my circle of family and friends is very, very small. I am particularly selective about the folk with whom I spend my time. On the other hand, I have noticed that fewer and fewer people can even be bothered to use uppercase letters and proper punctuation in their texts, which bugs me no end!
frayne
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Anyone else think this affliction just might be due to old age and being retired, whereas others have lives, things to do, places to go and people to see and not to mention, earn a living. I enjoy going about my quiet existence and only communicating and hanging with those whose company I enjoy. Being in my early seventies my circle of family and friends has shrunken quite a bit as compared to even just ten years ago but no complaints here.
djsander
Recycles dryer sheets
Maybe. I have occasional breakfast with a friend. Our wives set up the date as he will not answer his phone or return texts. Not sure why he has a phone except for emergencies. I very rarely hear from former work colleagues who are still working and even the retired ones. I told my wife I used to get constant text and calls and she got none. Now we are retired I get none and she gets them all. She pretty much handles all the scheduling and get together, but if by off chance somebody contacts me I answer.
