Help me handle THIS situation.......:(

[megacorp-firee]

I don't lend money, if a friend or relative needs money, I give them a gift. This way, I am never disappointed. My mil asked for a 'loan' for by bil wedding... a sizeable amount for us at the time... I told my wife to give her 1/4 of what she asked for (although it hurt, it was not catastrophic, being without) as our gift, ... did not ask for it to be returned. This way no one is obligated to anything... peace of mind is worth it.
If I ever get it back, then I invite them to dinner or something ... and have a good time for all

 

[packrat44]

Their spending problem is very similar to drug addiction. Receiving more money will perpetuate the problem. They need to admit they have an addiction rather than a lack of money problem and accept professional guidance. I can feel the withdrawal shakes from here.

 

[Martha]

My Dad was pretty well off during the depression, and of course coming out of WW2.

Truly life saving medical treatment, and prevention of family disasters was on my Dad's shoulders which he accepted as his duty. These folks were not wasters or lazy, just up against a very tough environment.

I don't remember that anyone was ever particularly grateful. . . .

Ha

I think it is hard to show the gratitude sometimes. You may be ashamed, embarrassed, and maybe a bit jealous. Or just not know what to say.

After my mother died for a brief period of time an aunt of my father's came and stayed with us. She taught me a lot about how to clean, cook, and run a house. She also gave us little money gifts once in a while. I am ashamed to say that I don't remember saying thank you ever. I remember being embarrassed a lot about how dirty our home was. I didn't know anything about that you cards. And I just didn't know what to say.

She has been dead for years. Last year we had a family reunion and her son, now quite elderly, was there. I told him how much I learned from his mother and how thankful I was. Too late, but it was the best I could do.