Internet dating advice wanted/needed

Lots of Google hits on my name...only it is not me. Having a common name makes it hard to find someone sometimes. 20 pages and none were me.

I looked my name up and had 146 hits...none were me. I don't feel that I have a common name, so it kind of freaked me out.

It's really strange when you see your name in an obituary.
 
I had several hundred hits, but most of them were just from work or work-related scientific publications. I am listed in my father's obituary from over a quarter century ago, and my mother's obituary from last year. I found about equal numbers from "firstname lastname" and "firstname middle initial lastname" and "lastname, firstname middle initial". I also have maiden vs married names and haven't checked all the permutations.

I didn't find ANY so far that were reminiscing about what great fun I was on dates or as a friend. Guess I am boring! :mad: Time to ER.
 
I was surprised to learn that I was killed in WWI... :p
 
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...and that I am a pro bowler!

I also found my parents names at Willamette National Cemetery. (Jay Leno, that's 'will-AAH-met'. Great Obama joke, by the way.) And my father's brothers. A sombre Memorial Day moment.
 
Summer (Jim),

To answer your question, I didn't examine how many women wanted a guy 6 foot or above. I did my match.com study several years ago. I have the data around here somewhere, but its not in front of me at the moment (I remember the 71 to 73 ratio, because it was the same ratio as what was in The Economist).

When calculating how much taller a man must be, I took the average of the range given by each woman (those who listed a range). If a 5' 5'' woman said she was interested in a 5' 8'' to 6' 0'' man, I used 5 inches as the desired difference (I ignored women who said they were interesting in a man of at least a certain height, and those who had an unrealistic range such as 5' 10'' to 8' 0''). My guess is that you took the minimum value of the range (i.e., in my example above you would have computed a differences of 3 inches, as opposed to my 5 inches).

In my match.com days, I'd use the height requirement that many/most women had for men as an "exclusion factor." What I mean is that I'd exclude women who had a height requirement that didn't span their own height. I'd do this even if I fell within their range. If I read in a woman's profile that she was 5' 2'' but was interested in a 5' 7'' to 6' man, I'd simply go on to the next profile. I'd do this with other criteria too, such as age. While people are free to be attracted to whomever they want, I didn't think I'd be a good match to women who had such specific criteria. I tended to be attracted to women who were more open (e.g., those that didn't have a height requirement). I considered that to be an indicator of a more compatible personality type.

You are correct. While women are more accepting of men who are slightly overweight, they do not go for slim/thin men (except for those with athletic builds). Yes, I'm speaking in generalities.

I appreciate your comments and your analytic approach to this. There's considerable data out there on sites like match.com. While these data are not necessarily representative of the general population, I think one can come away with good insight about what traits women (or men) find desirable in potential partners.
 
I don't show up on Google with my middle name.

I do show up with first and last name, but it's not me until page four; there is a somewhat famous PhD with my name.
 
It's nice to live in the modern world, where it's not necessary to get completely entangled with a person to have a mutually satisfying relationship with them. One advantage of minimizing entanglement: the level of paranoia above isn't required. If I meet a nice woman who I respect and admire and we have fun together, then her problems don't necessarily have to become my problems. Of course, for some people nothing less than total entanglement isn't satisfying. To each their own.

i was simply describing steps to investigate the accuracy of claimed identification. i'm neither that paranoid nor that insecure but i might be that curious. i learned long ago that someone who appears spotless can turn up dirty years later, whereas someone who seems dirty on first sight might quickly clean up quite well.

but i do become involved with those who come close to my life. i do not live in a fast food world of friends. they are not easily disposed of and i hurt when they throw me away. i spit on disloyalty.

i have no issue with acquaintences or ships in the night and i enjoy those casual relationships on occassion as well without any, as you say, entanglements. but for those who we see on a regular basis, our friends, entanglements hold us secure against our fear of intimacy at every level and they allow us to share our lives so that even while separated in these bodies we are not alone.
 
Most of my google hits are work related also but there are few odd ball related hits, if you search in the right places. My favorite is after walking in my one and only marathon, at my ex girlfriends urging I signed up for the next years Honolulu marathon. (It is like $20 for super early registration).

By the time the marathon rolled around next year, I had come to my senses and no intention of doing a 2nd one. So I let one of the running coaches use my race number to run, so according to Google my fastest marathon is a very respectable time. Faster than my ex-girlfriend much to her consternation!
 
Lots of Google hits on my name...only it is not me. Having a common name makes it hard to find someone sometimes. 20 pages and none were me.


Me too. But I have an unusual last name so it's odd that there's this other woman with my name who has a big career that's all over the Internet. The real me has a few Google hits too (work related) but nothing that would tell anything interesting about me.
 
I always google prospective dates and I am not upset when somebody does the same to me. I am actually a little suspicious when they don't show up on Google (i.e. is it a fake name).

Still I was happy that a Smart Money magazine where I foolishly talked about my net worth and my real name seems to have disappeared from the Google database.

Oh yeah? How do I Google the story to make sure that it did disappear? I'm just busting your chops. :) Yeah, thanks to Google and the Internet Archive, my stupid ramblings and dumb ass programming questions from 15 years ago are still for the world to see.
 
Texas Proud

I used the height that the lady listed as her preferred height range on the dating site. She can but in whatever minimum height she wants from 3-0 to 8-0. Some just put in "any" but a lot do answer the question and the ones that did I just took their minimum requirement and used that.


Shawn

I see what you are saying and I looked at my sample and you know what?? 47 out of 100 listed their max height as 6-8 or above! So almost half! That is why I didn't pay any attention to the max height range. I picked 6-8 because it's pretty rare to find a guy that height. The tallest in my quad A HS was 6-6.

If I did average that out yeah it would be a 7 inch difference or way more I'm sure....I used the minimum figure.

Also a lot of people don't know their height especially girls and a lot can't gauge height. I was just playing around with this girl at a party one time and dancing with her and we were both barefoot. I asked her how tall she was. She had to be 5-10 minimum and she tells me "5-7" I'm like what? Anyway this girl couldn't have known her height. Many other women grossly underestimate their height.


Also I hung out with the biggest guy on our football team in HS he was one of my best friends and was 6-5 and around 280- 300 pounds. Girls would ask him how tall he was because he was so big and he would tell them to guess. Even when we were like 25 girls would guess him UNDER 6 foot!! So with some girls being that far off their estimation might not be too good on what they like.

Another girl that was out of college told my buddy who was telling her he was about 5-11 that he is the same height as her boyfriend. My buddy starts laughing because the guy was about 5-7 and she had been going out with him for like 5 years. I guess he told her he was 5-11 and she believed him. She was maybe 5-2 to 5-4. Now after going out with someone for that long you would think you would figure that out. But it goes to show what I have long thought about height and girls...that it doesn't matter much to them. And this girl was very pretty.

I also know full grown men who have no clue how long 3 inches is.

On being thin I don't think it really matters if you are thin and built or not. I have done loads of physical work and I get comments from GUYS only if they see me without a shirt on that I look like a boxer or that they would like to be in the shape I'm in or they wouldn't want to tangle with me. But NEVER from women. I used to work out with free weights and could do 10-15 reps on a bench press with 200 pounds at a bodyweight of 145. And I don't walk around without a shirt on unless I'm at a pool or at my house. So with a shirt on I just look like a skinny guy.

Being thin like this does make most women sick.

But I can tell you this. The ones that like it really like it. It's probably only 1 in 50 but they do exist. And a little tip for some of the other skinny guys out there. Bigger stronger girls sometimes really like thin guys. And so do girls that have been abused by guys. Some girls are afraid of big guys.


Jim
 
FWIW

My perception is that woman like men who are taller than them even after they have on heels. So at least 3" and probably 6" inches. I think this only really an issue for short guys 5' 6" or less dating taller than average woman.

Both sexes want people who are "normal" weight with woman being slightly more accepting of overweight guys than vice versa. Of course there is a huge disconnect in the media as to what normal weight is. I think the media portrayl of normal/desirable weight is a supermodel/hunky actor + 10 pounds, and of course reality is a lot fatter.
 
Texas Proud

I used the height that the lady listed as her preferred height range on the dating site. She can but in whatever minimum height she wants from 3-0 to 8-0. Some just put in "any" but a lot do answer the question and the ones that did I just took their minimum requirement and used that.


That is my point... that is their MINIMUM acceptable.... not their ideal height...

From what I have observed (yes... subjective), women like a 'taller' man more than a 'shorter' man... all else being the same... it is part of biology... and they want a athletic man more than a thin guy or a slightly overweight guy. again, all else being the same.. and a 'good looking' guy over an average or ugly guy.. all else being the same...


Now, remember... power, money, personality can change any or all of the above..


OHH... forgot... women usually like men who MAKE more than them...
 
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I don't.

2Cor521

I believe there may be at least a hint of gentle sarcasm in bbbamI's response.

I believe that to feel that doing polls of dating sites will help you to understand woman borders on being delusional.

Women are not as fetishistic as men. She may have all sorts of categories and shoulds in her head, but if she feels that you undersand her and care about her she will throw that over in two seconds to fall in love with you.

Ha
 
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I believe there may be at least a hint of gentle sarcasm in bbbamI's response.

I beleive that to feel that doing polls of dating sites will help you to understand woman borders on being delusional.

Woman are not as fetishistic as men. She may have all sorts of categories and shoulds in her head, but if she feels that you undersand her and care about her she will throw that over in two seconds to fall in love with you.

Ha

Agreed.... and I have never tried to say I know it all... but you can see patterns just like with men... not trying to say all women do this or that... just patterns..

And about men...

Men want a thin woman more than an overweight one...

Men want the most 'georgeous' woman he can get...

Men like a nice 'rack'... some like size more than others, but from the guys I know... nice is better than big...

Men like younger women

Men like shorter women

Men like 'less intelligent' women (that is less than they are, not blonde bimbos)

Men like subserviant women (boy am I going to hear a lot on this one)

this is my opinion and by the preponderance of the evidence.... (did I spell that right??)



So... way off the OP subject.... but hey, I am having some fun with this.. so, blast away... I can handle it...
 
Y'all guys are hilarious. You do statistical research to find out what a girl's height requirements are? It's real simple, we like guys that aren't shorter than us. Whatever height that is, that's it. We like guys that outweigh us, whatever weight that is, that's it. I don't know of any girlfriends who have given it more thought than that.

Clif, I've worn heels 2x in my life. My DH is my height, usually my weight (right now about 10 lbs heavier), and has the same size shoe. I chuckled at the background checks--I had to open up DH's checkbook a few days after we hooked up so that I'd at least know his last name. No paranoia in my youth!

You boys listen to Ha, now, he's got it right. ;)
 
Just anecdotal stuff:
Men over 5'9" will often claim to be 5'11" or 6'.
Tall women often claim to be 5'9" or 5'10".

In a past office, there was a woman who said she was 5'9" and a man who said he was 5'11", she was obviously taller than he was.

In a class, the instructor asked all their heights to set up a chart; about half the men claimed to be 5'11", but when you saw them standing together it was obvious they were different heights.
 
I believe there may be at least a hint of gentle sarcasm in bbbamI's response.

I beleive that to feel that doing polls of dating sites will help you to understand woman borders on being delusional.

Woman are not as fetishistic as men. She may have all sorts of categories and shoulds in her head, but if she feels that you undersand her and care about her she will throw that over in two seconds to fall in love with you.

Ha

Thank you, Ha, for adding your wisdom. ;)
 
Let me clear up the confusion or gray area...

Yes, size does matter. >:D :eek:
 
Wow, I guess you guys have us all figured out.....

I don't have it all figured out.

I really don't understand why women put up with men.
I see so many more women with waco, strange, unappealing guys than the other way around. (and no I haven't done a study).
 
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