New cyclist: my butt hurts

I'd feel like a fool in spandex.
I remember the first time I wore bike shorts......it was "Aaah relief, why didn't I buy a pair sooner?"
 
This is mine. Also, cushy saddles can be worse in this regard, because you sink down resulting in more pressure in the middle.

I'm beginning to feel the same way about padded shorts. The pressure needs to be on the butt, thus that's where the padding should be. Sinking your "other" area into a foam pad will reduce blood flow to the aforementioned region, causing various, unpleasant side effects.
 
DW and I went on a date last night that included about 10 miles of trails (along with dinner, margaritas and lovely scenery) and what is mostly sore today is my legs. Thanks for the tips.
Maybe that move out west was a great idea, but it sounds like she was pretty rough on you. What about bringing pillows & blankets next time?
 
Is this what causes extreme numbness in the lower frontal region? I have such a problem with this that I don't ride very far at all. But I'm always wearing jeans. I don't do long rides, just little neighborhood jaunts, I'd feel like a fool in spandex.

What I do is wear padded, spandex shorts, and regular exercise, soccer or tennis shorts over the top. In the winter I do the same but with tracksuit bottoms over the padded shorts.
 
Good tips here for the novice biker that I will need. I finally got my old bike repaired and on the road this week. It has not used since 1981! Ah, the benefits of being ERed.
 
You can find literally thousands of posts concerning saddle comfort, and many more tips at this site:

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