Age difference in relationships post-FIRE

[F.I.R.E User]

Age doesn’t matter. I prefer younger women.

 

[teej1985]

Age doesn’t matter. I prefer younger women.

But do they prefer you?

 

[CO-guy]

Age doesn’t matter. I prefer younger women.

Ben Franklin disagrees:
"And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement."

 

[aja8888]

Ben Franklin disagrees:
"And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement."

Old Ben was quite a guy in his time:

https://www.ranker.com/list/benjamin-franklin-private-life/katia-kleyman

Any examination of Benjamin Franklin's affairs starts in his youth. At age 14 in 1720, he was a curious and hormonal teenager who was intrigued by the "doxies" and "ramblers" lining the streets of Boston. When he was 17, Franklin moved to Philadelphia, where he began his printing business and started his courtship of the 15-year-old Deborah Read, the woman he would later marry. But by 1724, Franklin was off to London, and Deborah became an afterthought as he spent his evenings in the beds of countless women of ill repute. He returned to Philadelphia two years later, and eventually married Deborah in a common-law ceremony in 1730. The vows of marriage did nothing to stop his philandering ways.

Benjamin Franklin sex facts show how this esteemed figure in the early United States harbored plenty of personal secrets. Throughout his life, Franklin's sexual appetite was a hot topic of gossip amongst American, British, and French high-society. By the time he passed in 1790, he had left a number of salacious stories behind him. From the "fine establishments" of Philadelphia to the salons of Paris, here are some facts about Franklin’s long and fruitful love life.

 

[TickTock]

Thanks for the caveat. My spouse is obviously still working, we have long- and short-term rentals, I'm still part-time with my former employer and I run my own business consulting part-time/remote. For me, that's FIRE'd.

And for me, that's definitely not FIRE'd. FI, absolutely. RE - part-time, rentals, and running your own business - no.

Note that I make no judgement on your choice. You like what you do, who am I to say otherwise? Just that that choice is not FIRE'd.

Spouse still working? Well that's a different animal. For instance, if both spouses worked until kid(s) came along then DW becomes a SAHM, is she 'retired' while DH continues to work? To me, if DH continues to work because he enjoys it, DW is retired. If DH has to work to support the household, DW is not retired. She's pursuing other (worthy!) life options.

YMMY.

 

[F.I.R.E User]

But do they prefer you?

Depends.

 

[CO-guy]

Old Ben was quite a guy in his time:

https://www.ranker.com/list/benjamin-franklin-private-life/katia-kleyman

Agreed. Such a fascinating individual. So often the contrarian.
“Lost Time is never found again.”
- Poor Richard’s Almanack, 1747

 

[CO-guy]

And for me, that's definitely not FIRE'd. FI, absolutely. RE - part-time, rentals, and running your own business - no.

Note that I make no judgement on your choice. You like what you do, who am I to say otherwise? Just that that choice is not FIRE'd.

Spouse still working? Well that's a different animal. For instance, if both spouses worked until kid(s) came along then DW becomes a SAHM, is she 'retired' while DH continues to work? To me, if DH continues to work because he enjoys it, DW is retired. If DH has to work to support the household, DW is not retired. She's pursuing other (worthy!) life options.

YMMY.

Thank you. I appreciate the varying perspectives on that matter. There was a Forbes article published a few years ago stating nearly half of Americans aged 60-75 plan to work part-time after they retire from full-time work. I can't imagine that number has gotten any smaller in the past 3 years, so around half of all Americans believe "RE" includes working part-time.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/palash...ont-retire-at-all-poll-finds/?sh=4d89bc1a6b95

Again, no judgement, but it would seem that, at least in America, side-hustles and other income streams are indeed viewed as a part of RE. Given the number of folks in the US that have delayed RE just this year due to inflation, that viewpoint may now be in the majority.

 

[Car-Guy]

So a friend of mine (not real close friends, but friends none the less) married a women ~31 years his junior (she was almost 40 "I think" and he was 71). She was recently divorced and his wife had passed away a few years earlier. She has two school age kids and was working two jobs to make ends meet. They knew each other long before his wife died and she divorced. Oh, he's moderately wealthy so she was able to retire once they married.

Seems to be working "so far". But IMO, that seems to be too much of an age difference to work long term for "most couples".

 

[scrinch]

My wife, who is 4 years younger than I, followed me and my job overseas twice, for a total of 9 years. That interrupted her career, although it gave her more guilt-free time with the kids. At the end of the second stint overseas, I retired at 57. When we moved back to the US, she resumed her career and has since put in 7-1/2 years. In that time I have been her cook, cleaner, garbage man, and Mr Fix-it. But I have also done an average of a few hours per month of consulting with old work colleagues, gone on several big fishing trips per year, done a few large woodworking projects, and play tennis 2-3x per week. Our vacations so far have been short summer trips, mostly backpacking and hanging out in out mountain cabin with family. I think my wife has settled on retiring at the end of this year so we can do some more serious travel together before we get too old to do so.

Overall I think I would have preferred us retiring at the same time, but this hasn't been so bad. I've definitely had time to develop my own routine while she continued to put in her time at w*rk.

 

[Winemaker]

Dear SIL was a hairdresser out of her home for 20 years, never paid into SS. Her second husband ,now 86, is still workink full time to make sure his DW has enough funds. strnge world iii live in.

 

[CO-guy]

My wife, who is 4 years younger than I, followed me and my job overseas twice, for a total of 9 years. That interrupted her career, although it gave her more guilt-free time with the kids. At the end of the second stint overseas, I retired at 57. When we moved back to the US, she resumed her career and has since put in 7-1/2 years. In that time I have been her cook, cleaner, garbage man, and Mr Fix-it. But I have also done an average of a few hours per month of consulting with old work colleagues, gone on several big fishing trips per year, done a few large woodworking projects, and play tennis 2-3x per week. Our vacations so far have been short summer trips, mostly backpacking and hanging out in out mountain cabin with family. I think my wife has settled on retiring at the end of this year so we can do some more serious travel together before we get too old to do so.

Overall I think I would have preferred us retiring at the same time, but this hasn't been so bad. I've definitely had time to develop my own routine while she continued to put in her time at w*rk.

Thank you for sharing! My better half did something similar. She gave up here career in DC to follow me to Colorado to pursue mine. Now that I'm wrapping up mine, she is passionate about pursuing her second career for the next few years. I would love for her to have more free time, but I completely support the passion she has as an educator, and I do my best to make the most of the time we do spend together.

 

[NYEXPAT]

FYI, I am married 19 years to a beautiful women 28 years my junior. We have a 8 year old and a 18 year old together. I retired something like 36 years ago and eventually moved to Peru. My spouse has worked full time for the last 12 years and because we had servants, I was a man of leisure. That all changed 3 years ago and we moved to the USA due to Covid and some other issues. Unfortunately, we do not have servants anymore and I have morphed into a SAHD. It was a big change but I have adjusted and enjoy my routine. I discovered Pickleball a few years ago and like many here I suppose, have become a PB slut.

 

[old medic]

My DW is 5 years younger, still working towards her retirement point, 3-5 years from now. I retired just over 2 years ago. I took over most of the stuff around the house, but now I struggle to get things done, but try. Shes stressed at work but is very dedicated to it. We are working together to get by until her #s allow her to bail, then WEEEEEEE.