Big City to Small Town: Experiences

[kcowan]

I love to visit Honolulu but could not handle the island fever if I lived there.

I love to visit Manhattan and I could live there if I could justify it.

I love Chicago in the summertime.

I love New Orleans in the spring and fall. Also Texas.

I live in Vancouver because spring starts in February and ends in July. Fall starts in October and ends in January. But we escape to warmer places regularly between October and May to avoid the dull grey skies.

 

[youbet]

As long as you enjoy where you live and feel it's worth the cost, enjoy it.

There ya go again Rich, hitting us with that silly idea that peoples personal likes and dislikes can be different without anyone being "right or wrong."  You're never going to fit in on this board until you righteously declare your own opinions as the only possible correct opinions!   

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

There ya go again Rich, hitting us with that silly idea that peoples personal likes and dislikes can be different without anyone being "right or wrong." You're never going to fit in on this board until you righteously declare your own opinions as the only possible correct opinions!

Sorry - character flaw. I'm workin' on it. .

I'm a big believer in the theory of relativity - everyone sees the world from where they stand (I'm not spinning, everything else is), and can't understand why every other idiot doesn't see it the same way.

I would offer the observation that the need to defend one's territory as the best seems to affect the younger posters more than those a bit longer in the tooth. I imagine I was the same way years ago, but it was hard to pull off - my first three home towns were Rochester, NY, Cleveland, and Milwaukee. All fine places in their own right, but usually don't make most people's Best Places to Live list.

 

[califdreamer]

.... my first three home towns were Rochester, NY, Cleveland, and Milwaukee. All fine places in their own right, but usually don't make most people's Best Places to Live list.

According to Cities Ranked & Rated (Sperling & Sander, 2002):

Rochester, NY #214 out of 331
Cleveland, OH #264
Milwaukee, WI #198

And yes, Rich, I own the book and it IS the final arbiter of quality of life locations in the US   

 

[NYC Guy]

Thanks for all the feedback and comments. Really getting me to think.

A few more comments:

(1) NYC was ranked #10 in Money Mag's recent Best Places issue. (So there. )

(2) A good portion of our extended family has moved to NY-metro (Westchester, etc.) since we moved here 8 years ago. This does give a reason to stay. We are not native to NYC, but we now have an established network here. I also don't like driving a car, which is optional here.

(3) I only started working for The Man at 32. Cleverly avoided serious work until then (via grad school and several other socially-acceptable excuses). So our net worth has gone from negative to 2mill plus in 7 years. We save about 200-250k a year. If I leave my current position, I am not putting up with the BS of a job again. So I think it is worth socking away a bit more now while I can.

(4) "Sick of NY" - well, I wish I were. It would make things simpler. I was happy in grad school in a college town living on 12k a year stipend. But unlike the poster above, I really do use and enjoy the activities of NY. We go to an art exhibit, concert, play, opera, jazz club etc. at least once a week. The food is really good here, across the board. We can exchange our apartment for one in London for free, then fly there in a few hours.

Also, this might sound sappy, but I came here to take a chance at something and it worked. I also stayed here through 9/11 (saw it in person). NYC has been very good to me, and I feel like I might be abandoning something if I left. I know that is irrational, people move all the time for many reasons, but it is what I feel when I think about it.

I thought the result of posting here would be to encourage me to quit, but the more I think about it, the more willing I am to stick it out, at least a while longer.

 

[haha]

I imagine I was the same way years ago, but it was hard to pull off - my first three home towns were Rochester, NY, Cleveland, and Milwaukee. All fine places in their own right, but usually don't make most people's Best Places to Live list.

I never lived in Rochester, but for a smaller city it seemed very nice to me My BIL went to medical school there, and we visited him fairly often. Excellent Medical Center, Eastman School of music, etc., etc.

A lot there for the manageable size and low hassle. And the Lake seemed nice too.

Does Genesee beer still exist?

Ha

 

[youbet]

It's hard to find much negative about Milwaukee......

"Milwaukee is known as "The City of Festivals" for its great number of ethnic and musical festivals, the largest of which is Summerfest. It has also been called "the nation's watering hole," having more bars per capita than any other large city in the country. Milwaukee residents are known as Milwaukeeans. Milwaukeeans often comment that Milwaukee feels like "a big small town."

 

[Rich_by_the_Bay]

It's hard to find much negative about Milwaukee......

"Milwaukee is known as "The City of Festivals" for its great number of ethnic and musical festivals, the largest of which is Summerfest. It has also been called "the nation's watering hole," having more bars per capita than any other large city in the country. Milwaukee residents are known as Milwaukeeans. Milwaukeeans often comment that Milwaukee feels like "a big small town."

I love the place. Raised my kids there in Whitefish Bay, years of Summerfest, lakeside walks, booming downtown.

 

[renferme]

So if you're trying to choose your location based on its culture, it might be worth listing all the culture that you've experienced more than once a decade in your current location. The results could be a surprising indication of whether culture is really that important to you or not...

Nords, I listed the "culture" stuff in Pittsburgh. Here's what I do and see:
symphony, opera, football, baseball, malls, restaurants, science museum, golf courses, mountains, Kennywood amusement park (do you remember Kennywood?) - all done recently. What I don't do is go to hockey games (too expensive, but I follow the team) and I don't ski. Yes, culture and sports are important to me. Have to admit, though, that I only go to malls when the wife drags me there.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

i love the city but wouldn't want to live there for more than a few days at a time. i loved living in rural florida college town (gainesville) but drive outside 20 minutes into the sticks and suddenly i'm a new york jew in the wilderness.

i like to visit museums during the year but i don't need them nearby. though i like a good restaurant i don't need one on every block. i appreciate convenience but i don't need a drug store on every corner.

culture for me has less to do with places & events and more to do with understanding, attitude & approach towards life. so while i don't need to discuss opera with a stranger on a subway, i also don't care much for some rural guy checking out my forehead for horns.

i guess i'm just suburbia guy at heart.

 

[unclemick]

Hindsight being 20/20 - I was brainwashed in youth.

Coming of age in the late 50's/early 60's with the Beach Boys et al - da burbs.

Seem to be most comfortable - where I can drive to the 'big city' or 'to the country'.

Although a fish camp over Lake Ponchartrain (1979 - 2005) wasn't everyone's vision of suburbia.

heh heh heh heh

 

[Nords]

Nords, I listed the "culture" stuff in Pittsburgh.   Here's what I do and see:
symphony, opera, football, baseball, malls, restaurants, science museum, golf courses, mountains, Kennywood amusement park (do you remember Kennywood?) - all done recently.

Well, I've done all those things (except opera) but I just haven't found any reason to do them in the last couple decades.

I do enjoy science museums like Buhl Planetarium. Yet even around here we just haven't found a reason to spend any time at Bishop Museum's exhibits in the last couple years.

And my good 2nd grade buddy, Phil Stoll, named the Kennywood rollercoaster (the Thunderbolt) which earned him lifetime admission and made him everybody's good buddy...

 

[nfs]

There's some undeniable witchcraft about large cities. It's noisy and crowded and busy but that's all made up for by the fact that the noise and crowds and busy are there to put everything at your fingertips. I love being in big cities, the ability to walk out the door and find, within 5 minutes walk, twenty different kinds of ethnic food, entertainment, shopping. Maybe a short cab ride to opera or theatre or a movie.

I don't live in a city now. I'm on a little island, population 10k. Piss poor restaurant selection, so we cook a lot ourselves (my wife has just managed to duplicate moules poulette a la the Jubilee on E 54th in NYC, so I am in heaven!) It's an artsy fartsy place, so there's no lack of culture, even if it isn't up to New York standards. UPS brings almost anything to the door. Peace and quiet, good friendly helpful neighbors. It's got limitations, you make your own stimulation, and if you really need a fix, well, that's what plane tickets are for.

What I don't get is suburbia. I just don't get it. It has none of the advantages of either of the above and IMO all of the disadvantages.

 

[Brat]

I don't live in a city now.  I'm on a little island, population 10k.  Piss poor restaurant selection, so we cook a lot ourselves (my wife has just managed to duplicate moules poulette a la the Jubilee on E 54th in NYC, so I am in heaven!)  It's an artsy fartsy place, so there's no lack of culture, even if it isn't up to New York standards.  UPS brings almost anything to the door.  Peace and quiet, good friendly helpful neighbors.  It's got limitations, you make your own stimulation, and if you really need a fix, well, that's what plane tickets are for.

What I don't get is suburbia.  I just don't get it.  It has none of the advantages of either of the above and IMO all of the disadvantages.

Oh do I remember your island, 50 years ago I was one of a group of teenage girls on a sailboat that tied up on your dock. It didn't take long to get the attention of the locals. Had was a great time!

 

[Scrooge]

I love being in big cities, the ability to walk out the door and find, within 5 minutes walk, twenty different kinds of ethnic food, entertainment, shopping.  Maybe a short cab ride to opera or theatre or a movie.

It all depends on what kind of "culture" you are after. I don't eat out, so ethnic food is of no interest to me. I don't shop except when I need new shirts, pants, ant killer stuff and such, and K-Mart/Home Depot/WalMart have them in spades. The kind of "culture" that I consume consists mostly of old books and old movies, which are much easier to find on the Internet/cable TV than in person.

Why would I bother with Video Vault in Alexandria, VA (or their 800 service) when we have Netflix, TCM and FMC now? Why go to Strand, when you can find vastly better selection at lower prices without leaving your home? Why spend time and money on opera houses when all the classical music that I could possibly want (which isn't saying much) is on the internet/CDs?

Granted, if my definition of "culture" included museums or live theater/opera, then it would be a different story.

 

[HFWR]

Probably attend the theatre once every couple of years. Never been to an opera or ballet; might someday just to say I did it. Nothing special about the museums in DFW; couple of nice art museums, but a third-class science museum... Do enjoy the variety of live music, mostly in smaller venues. Like having variety of restaurants...

I could live without most of these items, and just drive to the city when the urge struck...

 

[haha]

Granted, if my definition of "culture" included museums or live theater/opera, then it would be a different story.

Unless you are really rich, a lot of theater, all opera, even well known jazz club acts are too expensive for a retired person. I think they are very appealing, and I am glad I had a lot of all that, but it costs a lot now.

My wife sometimes gets symphony or opera freebies, which area nice treat. She even invites me along on occasion!

To me, the main good thing about a city is all the night life, dance classes, opportunities to participate in drum circles, dance groups, whatever you might like. These are usually not particularly expensive, although it can add up over time. Also museums, which fequently have a free day once a week or so; or senior pricing on some days.

I enjoy moderately chaotic street life too. If it gets too freaky I want to be gone quick. I've seen too many of these nut cases go over the edge to be completely comfortable.

For years I was willing to drive to get this, but now I think it would be  lot easier to be local. Long drives well after midnight are getting freaky for me. And since a lot of things really don’t get started until 10PM or so, it runs late. I suppose I could just admit that I am getting up there, and find other interests, but – not quite yet. 

Ha

 

[dumpster56]

What is really funny I lived near NYC for 50 years and only drove past the empire state building, never was in it never went to the statue of liberty kayaked around it a few times.

I did eat at the destroyed WTC a few times though.

I am sure the destruction which I witnessed with my eyes that day has something to do with my move away from the NYC area.

 

[audreyh1]

When we were in our late 20s and early 30s we did a lot of the "culture" stuff - symphony, ballet, dance, plays, jazz concerts, famous musician concerts.

But a funny thing happened.....

By our late 30s, we had quit doing any of that stuff. We didn't like going out at night anymore. Dressing up lost it's appeal. We were more interested in avoiding crowds. We became outdoors people and did all our fun stuff in the day time. Hiking, birdwatching, exploring the outdoors, etc.

This is still true today. We couldn't care less about attending a "cultural" event, although we'll visit a museum now and then if it happens to be convenient. Nature provides enough of a "show" that substitutes for the human-created stuff.

Lots of nice restaurants and great grocery stores (like Whole Foods) were the main benefits of living in a larger city by the time we left. Now while we travel, we have access to good restaurants now and then. Top of the line grocery stores are not quite as accessible, but we occasional get near one and stock up.

Don't miss the big city. Really don't miss suburbia. Suburbia was depressing - yech!

We like being out in the boonies most of the time - prefer it.

Audrey

 

[BunsGettingFirm]

What I don't get is suburbia. I just don't get it. It has none of the advantages of either of the above and IMO all of the disadvantages.

Wow, nfs, and I thought that I was the only one who thought that. For me, it's either give me the Rocky Mountains or NYC/DC. The in between stuff is just not worth it. Tried it for 5 years in a Philly suburb. It had all of the traffic of a big city but none of the culture and none of the excitement. It had all of the boredom of a small town but none of wide open country roads and big mountains on which ride my bike for hours on end. The skiing was a joke. I couldn't believe that I had pay $45 to ski on a little hill that I can finish in 2 minutes.

 

[southern transplant]

NYC Guy,
Have you considered moving to a smaller city that offers some of what you enjoy in NYC and with direct flights to NYC?
Raleigh, NC is a college town, on the off broadway circuit.
We have our own symphony.
We have several amphitheaters that bring in a variety of artist.
We are in the middle of 3 large universities with very competitive sports teams in football and basketball.
We have a pro hockey team that won the Stanley Cup last season.
We are 1.5 hours from the beach, 4 hours from the mountains, on a direct flight to NYC and other major cities.
We have 4 seasons although sometimes our winters are just chilly.
We have several resturants that are owned by NYers that have moved south.
Our area has a diversity of people from all over the world and country.
Our downtown is growing and offering downtown condo living.
Raleigh and Cary have made Forbes list of best places to live and raise a family!

Raleigh is the smallest suburban area I have lived in. I came here for college and never looked back.....I love to help people settle in Raleigh.
Good luck in your decision...NYC is a great place (my Dad was born and raised in the Bronx)