How do you answer the “what do you do?” question when most people your age are still

[Andre1969]

I'm still w*rking, at the age of 48, and while I had been thinking 50-51 would be my retirement range, I might fall into the one more year trap. So, who knows; I might get to the point where, by the time I DO retire, it won't be all *that* early, anymore.


Anyway, I can still remember back in 2013, I was really getting fed up with my j*b, stock market was doing great, and I briefly thought about throwing in the towel. At the time, I remember a lot of people on this forum said that they'd simply answer something vague such as "consultant", "financial planner", etc when the "what do you do?" question came up and they didn't want to actually say "retired".


Well, someone asked me what I did for a living, and I lied and said "financial planner", and remembered getting a dismissive, judgemental sort of response like "Oh, so you make money for other people? I want to make money for MYSELF!"


Before I moved, I had been living next door to one of my relatives, an older lady in her 90's. I've been taking off Wednesdays now, for almost two years, and a day here and there on top of that. Every time she'd see me around the house, she'd ask me what am I doing home? She was worried that I'd gotten laid off!

 

[nativenewenglander]

We were at a dinner party a few months ago, a woman who knows my wife was making conversation I guess with me she said "I know what your wife does, what do you do?" I looked her in the eye with a smile and said "I fly fish almost almost everyday." She had kind of shocked look since I'm probably 15-20 years younger than her. The woman looked over at my wife who confirmed my words. We still laugh about that.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Many years ago I thought about what life might be like after jumping off the corporate hamster wheel. Why not buy or build a B&B near the most beautiful place in the world and spend my golden years allowing my lucky guests to enjoy the area? I bought a couple of books on owning/operating a B&B and decided that the only way I would enjoy this activity is if I didn't have any guests. This didn't seem like a viable business plan so I abandoned the dream. Good riddance!

Well, it didn't appear that the owner and his wife did much more than lounge by the pool and drink beer. The staff seemed to really do all the actual w*rk, but even if that was the case, I wouldn't want the hassle of it. The pool and beer and lounging? Well, of course...hell, I do that now.

 

[brett]

I learned a long time ago that people will think what they want to think.

So why bother with all the nonsense and just say you are retired.

 

[oscar1]

What do you do?
“About what?!”

You look too young to retire. What do you do all day?
“Yeah, it’s rough. My calendar has Golf on Tues and Thurs. Bowling on Wed. I usually hit Happy hour on Friday. Calendar is as full as it ever was working for the man.”

Or “Mon-Sat, nothing really. Sunday I rest.”

 

[MarieIG]

I don't have that "problem" as I am still working. But, what's wrong with saying, "I'm recently retired from _____."

Should anyone ask you how, or make a comment that you must be rich (really only a concern if you are worried about anyone attempting to sponge off of you) . . .

You can respond that you were able to achieve your retirement based upon years of consistent savings, strict budgeting, and some good fortune. (Good fortune can mean anything from good health, to good finances.) At that point, turn the conversation to ask about them.

No one, other than your spouse or SO is entitled to any more details then you want to give.

 

[Amethyst]

We never had any problems with nosey family members. However, we've had a bit of an issue with nosy fellow travelers, on tours we've taken recently. I mean, some of these people are pushy. They aren't the least interested in what we think about things, or what we like to do besides travel. They want personal details.

Some of the women always want to know how old we are (since there's an obvious age difference). Why do they have to know our exact ages? After polite deflection fails to work, I have resorted to, "Since it's open season on personal questions, I'll tell you our ages if you tell us how much you weigh." There is usually some grackling at this, then they leave us alone.

The men, on the other hand, won't take "Retired federal manager" for an answer. There's always one glitter-eyed old fellow who has to dig in. "But I want to know, what did you DO for the government?" Pushy and annoying. Mr. A., who's been retired for 20+ years, says "I don't remember."

 

[doneat54]

"What do I do?? Whatever the hell I want."

 

[Dtail]

I do get comments about being too young, but haven't received one comment yet on what do you do. Possibly being in Florida, it is understood that retirees have lots to do if they can and wish to.

 

[HondoBob]

"Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies."

 

[Gumby]

Back Door Man.

 

[Montecfo]

"Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies."

That's all fine but can you cut down the mightiest tree in the forest...with....a herring?

 

[Teacher Terry]

A, wow so glad we have never met people that rude. I don’t care what people did. I am interested in what they are doing now especially if it’s traveling)

 

[scrabbler1]

I do get comments about being too young, but haven't received one comment yet on what do you do. Possibly being in Florida, it is understood that retirees have lots to do if they can and wish to.

When I was told early on in my ER which began years ago that I was too young to retire, I replied with a twist on a saying about "youth is wasted on the young" with this: "Retirement is wasted on the old!"

 

[Dtail]

When I was told early on in my ER which began years ago that I was too young to retire, I replied with a twist on a saying about "youth is wasted on the young" with this: "Retirement is wasted on the old!"

Like that quote. Will use it as applicable.

 

[ER Eddie]

I'm a pretty open book, so if someone wants to know what I do in retirement, I'm fine with telling them. I actually like talking about it. Most people I've met are asking from a place of genuine curiosity.

 

[kgtest]

That first year of ER when someone asks "What do YOU do?" I will simply respond, "Roth conversions!"

 

[Amethyst]

Me too! It's like, "We paid thousands of dollars to have a fun time, and are not going to put up with certain people's overwhelming need to rebuild high school everywhere they go."

I realize I'm on the sensitive side. But I don't want to have to don my Hard Shell of Life while on an all-expenses-paid vacation, for heaven's sake.

A, wow so glad we have never met people that rude. I don’t care what people did. I am interested in what they are doing now especially if it’s traveling)

 

[Amethyst]

I love to talk about what we're doing in retirement, when people are interested, and don't pass judgment. And I love to hear about what others are doing. Work is in the rearview mirror, and that's where it should stay

I'm a pretty open book, so if someone wants to know what I do in retirement, I'm fine with telling them. I actually like talking about it. Most people I've met are asking from a place of genuine curiosity.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

The negative reaction we deal with most often is defensiveness. If they find out we're retired, people will sometimes respond with I never want to retire, I don't know what I'd do all day, as in the sour grapes fable. Or they go into one upmanship mode on some other life aspect. One person we'd just met for the first time, someone our age and not retired, responded to finding out we were retired by bragging about his household income, future pension income and vacation home. Most people are not like that, but we have been surprised that our retirement seems to upset some people we don't know or don't know know very well.

 

[FreeBear]

We've been asked this over a dozen times since retiring 4 years ago. We reply simply that "we're retired". The vast majority don't react at all. A few were amazed and impressed. They guys, always guys, are so proud of us that they boast of OUR retirement to their friends. A fe women, always women for some reason, say that " you're too young". I'm tempted to say that retirement is wasted on the old, but say I wanted to enjoy life while healthy.

 

[Amethyst]

On the face of it, that seems like a reasonable (truthful) response that applies only to them and doesn't reflect on you. I'm guessing the tone of delivery is such as to imply criticism?

B/c if so, they've opened themselves up to a response of "Boy, that's not true in our case - we can't find enough hours in the day to do all we want."

If they find out we're retired, people will sometimes respond with I never want to retire, I don't know what I'd do all day, as in the sour grapes fable. .

 

[youbet]

I’ll be retiring at age 53 next year and while that’s not considered “early” by the standards of many on the forum, from the perspective of most Americans (and many my age) it is.

I think I’ll feel a little strange responding to the question “so what line of work are you in?” with “I’m retired.”.

Just answer that you're retired, IMHO. You're likely making much, much more out of it than you should.

You're right on the cusp of having your ER seem unusual or not. The real FIRE crew, trying to retire in their 40's or earlier, obviously faces being youngish outliers in the statistical world of retirement ages. Folks in their late 50"s and up fall more into the mainstream and shouldn't draw much attention. You're in the middle.

When folks ask "what line of work are you in," they're just looking to find out more about you personally. Knowing how someone supports themselves can really draw back the drapes concerning their personal lives. When you say that you're retired, how much more you offer beyond that, even if pressed with specific questions, is strictly up to you. For many, the answer is not something they'd want to share (being supported by a working spouse, inherited a bunch, won a big bux litigation, etc.) If, OTOH, your situation is something you're personally proud of (had a good earning level and lived financially smart) and the person asking is someone you don't mind sharing with, just give that honest answer.

For me, I say I'm long term unemployed, which is the case. Mega tossed my sorry ass out at 58 just as the Great Recession was creeping in and I never found another job. Since I'm now 71, I guess folks just assume I found a way to make it...........

Of course, 58 was not particularly early by ER standards.

 

[RunningBum]

The men, on the other hand, won't take "Retired federal manager" for an answer. There's always one glitter-eyed old fellow who has to dig in. "But I want to know, what did you DO for the government?" Pushy and annoying. Mr. A., who's been retired for 20+ years, says "I don't remember."

"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." ought to work.

I actually had one acquaintance retire from the govt and tell me something like that. I think he was open that he had worked for the NSA, or maybe just the DOD. I had interviewed with the NSA while in college and they told us you just told people you were with the DOD. I asked what he did there, and he looked right at me and stated "I can't tell you." I believed him that he really couldn't. I don't think he was a field agent of any sort. Really good at math so maybe some kind of cryptographer or number crunching analyst.

 

[youbet]

Not to rain on the "superiority" of us FIRE'd folks.......... But I will mention that two of the geezer guys at my weekly Friday morning ex-MegaCorp retiree meet-up are working part time jobs in their 70's. And both have complained of younger, retired folks pressing them for details of "what they do" whenever their unavailability due to their work schedules comes up.

"Wanna meet at da sports bar for da Cubs game Wednesday?"
"Sorry, no, working."
"Oh. Whatdaya do?"

I guess when some pre-60 retirees hear that a guy, obviously a decade+ older than them, is still working, their curiosity spikes. Does this guy need to work? Did he make career mistakes I successfully avoided? Has this guy found employment so interesting he wants to work? Is the pay so good he can't resist continuing? Etc.

In actuality, one still part time participates in the management of a lucrative family business his father founded and which has been a big part of his life forever. The other works in the pro shop at a golf course. Both are loaded financially as far as I can tell. Both are put off when younger, fully retired guys keep pressing for details of why they're still working in their 70's. (Don't ask me how I know! )

It's not just young FIRE types that get, and are uncomfortable with, the "what do you do?" question.