How do you answer the “what do you do?” question when most people your age are still

[Austin704]

(Apologies if this question has been beaten to death in earlier threads. I couldn’t find a thread but if there is one, please send it to me and disregard the question.)

I’ll be retiring at age 53 next year and while that’s not considered “early” by the standards of many on the forum, from the perspective of most Americans (and many my age) it is.

I think I’ll feel a little strange responding to the question “so what line of work are you in?” with “I’m retired.” Saying I’m retired might lead to prying questions about my finances or perhaps arouse feelings of contempt in those who are nowhere close to that goal.

I’ve thought about saying something like “I’m taking a break from work right now and spending time doing X, Y or Z.”

Wanted to hear how others have handled this question. Thanks.

 

[MissMolly]

What other people think about me is none of my business. Contempt? I doubt it. Probably more like envy. And nobody has ever, ever questioned me about my finances. If they did, I simply wouldn't respond. That's none of THEIR business.

 

[Jerry1]

I’m over 55 and while that may be early, it’s nothing I’m ashamed of. I tell people that I’m retired. As for follow up questions, I either answer them or I don’t depending how personal they are. They’re usually not. Usually the conversation gets turned back on them as to what they could do to speed up their retirement. Usually that answer is for them to live below their means. That usually shortens the conversation. Most people don’t think they can cut their spending.

 

[marko]

(Apologies if this question has been beaten to death in earlier threads. I couldn’t find a thread but if there is one, please send it to me and disregard the question.)

I’ll be retiring at age 53 next year and while that’s not considered “early” by the standards of many on the forum, from the perspective of most Americans (and many my age) it is.

I think I’ll feel a little strange responding to the question “so what line of work are you in?” with “I’m retired.” Saying I’m retired might lead to prying questions about my finances or perhaps arouse feelings of contempt in those who are nowhere close to that goal.

I’ve thought about saying something like “I’m taking a break from work right now and spending time doing X, Y or Z.”

Wanted to hear how others have handled this question. Thanks.

RE'd at 52.
Never got the question about finances; maybe I just don't know anyone that gauche.
Did get a lot of 'Good for you!' and it was left at that. "Taking a break" is a good answer however.

 

[steelyman]

RE'd at 52.
Never got the question about finances; maybe I just don't know anyone that gauche.
Did get a lot of 'Good for you!' and it was left at that. "Taking a break" is a good answer however.

I was also a 53-and-gone person and don’t get questions about finances but do get the “what do you do?”, as in “what do I do for a living?”. These are from well-meaning (not prying, just chatting) people I’ve just met. I usually say, “I took an early out”, that leads to, “What DID I do?”, and it goes on from there. It rarely seems uncomfortable.

 

[SheitlQueen]

I always replied "I am retired" and then would tell them what I used to do when I w*rked. Because they always ask. Only comments other than that were "you look too young to retire". No one ever made comments about finances, etc.

 

[redduck]

<snip>
I’ll be retiring at age 53 next year and while that’s not considered “early” by the standards of many on the forum, from the perspective of most Americans (and many my age) it is.

I think I’ll feel a little strange responding to the question “so what line of work are you in?” with “I’m retired.” Saying I’m retired might lead to prying questions about my finances or perhaps arouse feelings of contempt in those who are nowhere close to that goal.

I’ve thought about saying something like “I’m taking a break from work right now and spending time doing X, Y or Z.”

I'm retired is the honest (and correct answer). So, you might just want to say, "I'm retired."

Q. "How did you do it at such an early age?"

Answer: "I was careful with my money."

Q. "How much did you retire with?"

Answer: "I've always been uncomfortable talking about personal finances. So, let's just say that hopefully, I retired with enough."

 

[RunningBum]

I usually just say I was fortunate enough to retire early. Taking a break isn't bad to say, but it sounds like you've been laid off or fired and are in need of a job, and I don't want pity, disdain, or help. I get the "too young" comment a lot, and shrug it off. Doesn't bother me.

If people ask what I do with myself, I sometimes tell them some of the things I do with my time, and sometimes just say "Imagine every day is Saturday. And you don't have to cram in all your chores because you don't have time during the week. I do whatever I want."

 

[SumDay]

I get "you're too young to be retired" all the time, and I'm 61. It's like I'm breaking a law or something. If they press too much, I just change the subject. If the questions are thoughtful and they genuinely seem to be interested in the "how", I'm glad to divulge more, and steer them here.

 

[oldphd]

"I gave up work."

 

[steelyman]

One time, at a happy hour type thing, I said, “I’m unemployed” but quickly explained when I could see the person asking the question felt bad.

 

[LakeRat1]

Retired at 52, I am 56 now .... Never had anyone ask about finances, have had people very surprised, then ask how did I do that..... Simple reply.... Started 401k Savings at 20 years old and have been very fortunate and blessed

 

[Rianne]

I say, work for the forest preserve district. It's volunteer, but it's still work I love. The thousands of volunteer hours (many volunteers) aid in getting federal and state grants. It gives me purpose on my own time.

 

[cathy63]

I retired two years ago at 53, and nobody who finds out comments about it or pries into our finances. There are many people who can retire and claim pensions in their early to mid-50s, including those in the military and a lot of public service professions, and I've learned that it's not as unusual to meet other retired people near our age as I had expected it would be.

Also, I read the other day about a well-known local restaurant that's changing their breakfast hours to "serve the growing community of residents without traditional, nine-to-five jobs." DH and I were joking that this exactly describes us. Soon it will describe you too, so welcome to the club.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

For me, it's situational dependent. Obviously, all my family and all "good" friends know that I am retired and any of the naysayers have fallen silent since I have "remained retired" for 4 years now. But, when I first retired, there were plenty of questions as to "how", "what are you going to do all day" and the often spoken, "you'll go back to work".

For those that I meet for the first time and that I will not have a lasting relationship with, I usually just say that I am involved in the "finance industry". If they pry further, I will say that I am a personal finance manager or some other bologna. Is this lying? Perhaps. Is it truthful? Perhaps. It IS easier than explaining my situation *especially* since my DW chooses to w*rk. Even here at ER.org, in a relative safe space, some members would say that I am a kept man, or just a laze about while my DW continues to w*rk the salt mines. So, you can imagine what mere acquaintances would think/say. Generally, I don't care what these folks think about my situation, but in the interest in keeping it from getting too awkward, that's what I do.

I have been trying to think how I might adjust my answer, especially since we are moving to a new neighborhood that is pretty small and has very little turnover; I can imagine that some of those folks will be all up in our business. We have also been to some of my DW's family events with a LOT of distant relatives and family friends, and so far I have been able to deflect the question since we are new to the area and are still "getting settled". To those folks, I tell them that I haven't quite figured out what I want to do after I grow up.

Edit: In regards to prying into finances, oddly enough it's been a couple of DW's family members. Just this weekend, we were over at SIL's new home and the subject of our house purchase came up. It is a larger house and isn't a cheap purchase but we are not financing it (and SIL knows this). Nonetheless, she made a couple of comments about how affordable a house (with a pool!) will be (or may not be) when I am not w*rking. She was trying to dig in for some specific numbers, and while normally I don't mind discussing that stuff, she is VERY guarded with ALL of her financial dealings..and that makes me inclined to say "None of your damn business!" I did finally tell her that our total costs (insurance, taxes, maintenance) would be less than 10% of our income and she should stop sweating about OUR finances and that seemed to shut her up.

 

[jcretire77]

Maybe I hang around people who mind their own business? Basically when asked what I do I say that I am retired and have been for two years. There have not been any follow up questions.

 

[imoldernu]

"what do you do?"

I mine bitcoin.

 

[travelover]

Feral engineer.

 

[kimcdougc]

We just say retired. If they delve further we say Live below your means and save, save, save. Seems to shut everyone up.

 

[Austin704]

These are great responses. I appreciate the perspectives. Seems to me that just being straight up about retirement may the best and that the likelihood of prying questions is remote. I do like the idea of having a back-up “occupation” like “personal finance manager” or “volunteer” as the situation calls for it. It’s not misleading to tell people what you do, even if it is not W-2 work.

 

[MRG]

I retired @56 and no one blinked. Maybe I look older. Now we live where nobody asks, some folks are retired some on vacation and nobody's talking about w*rk!

 

[W2R]

I’ll be retiring at age 53 next year and while that’s not considered “early” by the standards of many on the forum, from the perspective of most Americans (and many my age) it is.

I think I’ll feel a little strange responding to the question “so what line of work are you in?” with “I’m retired.” Saying I’m retired might lead to prying questions about my finances or perhaps arouse feelings of contempt in those who are nowhere close to that goal.

I was 61 when I retired, but just about all of my colleagues worked longer than that. Actually I can't think of one who retired as early as I did.

A few discreetly asked vaguely about my finances (more like a "poke" than a "question", KWIM? Something like, "Are you sure you will be able to manage with no paycheck?"). They knew I was an extreme introvert who lived alone and had no relatives living anywhere around here, so they were just feeling protective; they were worried that I might have jumped the gun. When I told them with a smile that I'd be fine (with no more details), they looked relieved and immediately changed the subject.

Only 1-2 colleagues asked how I did it, and I told them I contributed the max to the TSP (which I happened to know nobody else was doing), and to my Roth IRA, more to taxable than to the TSP, and meanwhile also paid off my house completely.
That shut them up. They only asked about that because they were wistfully dreaming of retiring some day too.

More frequently, they asked me if I planned to take another job or do consulting work for our agency. This was probably because they identified me with my job function and couldn't imagine anybody else doing that job. I told them that our agency didn't have enough money in their entire budget to pay for me, which made them laugh and change the subject yet again.

As for meeting new people who might ask what I do for a living, I just say that I am a retired oceanographer. Usually the only reason they ask is just to find a good topic for conversation, and that gets us started.

New people have never mentioned anything having to do with my financial situation, or at least not beyond asking what neighborhood I live in (which would give them a hint). Asking about my finances when they don't even know me would be pretty rude IMO, and should that ever happen I'd surely just ignore the question or laugh at them outright and find somebody more civilized to talk to.

What you need to do is move your mental focus from yourself, to them - - and try to figure out why they are asking these questions. Almost always the reasons are completely innocent and understandable.

 

[Cobra9777]

I retired at 52, five years ago. Here's a recent actual (and fairly typical) cocktail party exchange with someone who was about my same age...

Partygoer: So what do you do for a living?
Cobra9777: I'm retired, actually.
Partygoer: Wow, that's great, but you seem too young to be retired.
Cobra9777: Evidently there's no age restriction.
Partygoer: Haha. What did you do before you retired?
Cobra9777: I worked at Megacorp in the widget manufacturing division. What do you do?
Partygoer: I design gizmos at Ginormous-corp.
Cobra9777: (smiling) Wow, that's great, but you seem too old to still be working.
Partygoer: Haha. Evidently there's no age restriction.
Cobra9777: Touché. You need another beer?
Partygoer: Sure.

Completely harmless. We went on to discuss families, hobbies, gizmos, and widgets.

 

[marko]

I have been hit with this:
"Oh! You must be one of those state/court/RMV workers, right? Got in at 22 and got your 20 years in"

 

[scrabbler1]

I can't say I have been hit with any personal finances questions, and I have been retired for 10 years, when I was 45. My short answer, sometimes, is simply, "no kids, no debts." Because everyone, save some of us on this board, has one if not both of those items, that quickly conveys that I am an outlier, something I have been my whole life.


To the questions, "what do you do all day?" I answer that I do some volunteer work and some resurrected hobbies, and best of all, that I no longer have the long and tiring commute I so despised.


If they want to feel contempt that's their problem, not mine. I didn't make their life choices, they didn't make mine.