Widow

Chuckanut said:
We just don’t know when or where the right person will pop up into our lives.
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Or "if".

Or how many:

PatrickA5 said:
Within about 3 months of my MIL's death, my 82 year old FIL had women in line waiting on him. His biggest problem these days is trying to remember which one of his girlfriends he told he was going out with on that particular day. Right now, he has 3 steady girlfriends, but he says others are waiting. Quite the ladies man.
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Based on online discussions I've read (by women, mostly) there are two types of elderly women with regard to men:

1) Been there, done that, don't need or want another T-shirt.

2) Gotta have a guy, no matter how dilapidated; my social status depends on it!

PatrickA5 said:
Within about 3 months of my MIL's death, my 82 year old FIL had women in line waiting on him. His biggest problem these days is trying to remember which one of his girlfriends he told he was going out with on that particular day. Right now, he has 3 steady girlfriends, but he says others are waiting. Quite the ladies man.
Click to expand...
 
Amethyst said:
Based on online discussions I've read (by women, mostly) there are two types of elderly women with regard to men:

1) Been there, done that, don't need or want another T-shirt.

2) Gotta have a guy, no matter how dilapidated; my social status depends on it!
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Recall, about 20 years back, an 'older' lady in AZ saying to friends - "If he wants a Nurse or a Purse, it's not me".
 
Moemg said:
You will never find anybody to replace your late wife but you may find another nice relationship .
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+1
DW and I have been married 10 years. We lost our spouses about the same time. Funny how life is:)
 
I've never posted about this on our forum, but I'm a member of the widow/widower club too.

It is safe to say that life doesn't go as we planned all of the time.

After a couple years of unsuccessfully trying to help my wife of 39 years fight cancer, and three years of trying to be happy in my new existence as a widower, I'm somehow in a relationship without really looking for that.

My plan was to go it alone, try to be there for the people still in my life, and maybe even have some fun along the way.

I was occasionally socializing with a long time woman friend. Mostly going on long bicycle rides with a local bike club that she belonged to, but occasionally making a dinner or having a beer together. We were both alone, and it seemed like a positive for both of us.

Anyway, we are now a couple. WTH. I honestly didn't see it coming. Silly naive man.

It is very strange to me. Bittersweet like life. I'm sad, because it is another step of moving on from my wife. I'm also happy, because I thoroughly enjoy being with this woman.

There is something calming about being in a relationship at my age. None of the stress or expectations that I felt as a twenty year old.
Establishing a career, marriage, parents, buying houses. How did my wife and I manage it?

I figure if two older people want to be together, they should be. If it doesn't work out, I've had a little more happiness in my life for that time period. We seem amazingly compatible, so I'm hopeful it will work out.

Take care all my fellow widows and widowers out there. I hope you can find some moments of happiness, as a single person, or with someone new if that happens.

JP
 
After 5 years of mourning and recovery I remarried. It sucks to lose your mate. But it's fun to find another. But it's not the same and it shouldn't be, it's a new adventure and it keeps getting better every year as you get to know each other better.
 
JP.mpls said:
I've never posted about this on our forum, but I'm a member of the widow/widower club too.

It is safe to say that life doesn't go as we planned all of the time.

After a couple years of unsuccessfully trying to help my wife of 39 years fight cancer, and three years of trying to be happy in my new existence as a widower, I'm somehow in a relationship without really looking for that.

My plan was to go it alone, try to be there for the people still in my life, and maybe even have some fun along the way.

I was occasionally socializing with a long time woman friend. Mostly going on long bicycle rides with a local bike club that she belonged to, but occasionally making a dinner or having a beer together. We were both alone, and it seemed like a positive for both of us.

Anyway, we are now a couple. WTH. I honestly didn't see it coming. Silly naive man.

It is very strange to me. Bittersweet like life. I'm sad, because it is another step of moving on from my wife. I'm also happy, because I thoroughly enjoy being with this woman.

There is something calming about being in a relationship at my age. None of the stress or expectations that I felt as a twenty year old.
Establishing a career, marriage, parents, buying houses. How did my wife and I manage it?

I figure if two older people want to be together, they should be. If it doesn't work out, I've had a little more happiness in my life for that time period. We seem amazingly compatible, so I'm hopeful it will work out.

Take care all my fellow widows and widowers out there. I hope you can find some moments of happiness, as a single person, or with someone new if that happens.

JP
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Nice post. Very happy for you.
 
JP.mpls said:
I've never posted about this on our forum, but I'm a member of the widow/widower club too.

It is safe to say that life doesn't go as we planned all of the time.

After a couple years of unsuccessfully trying to help my wife of 39 years fight cancer, and three years of trying to be happy in my new existence as a widower, I'm somehow in a relationship without really looking for that.

My plan was to go it alone, try to be there for the people still in my life, and maybe even have some fun along the way.

I was occasionally socializing with a long time woman friend. Mostly going on long bicycle rides with a local bike club that she belonged to, but occasionally making a dinner or having a beer together. We were both alone, and it seemed like a positive for both of us.

Anyway, we are now a couple. WTH. I honestly didn't see it coming. Silly naive man.

It is very strange to me. Bittersweet like life. I'm sad, because it is another step of moving on from my wife. I'm also happy, because I thoroughly enjoy being with this woman.

There is something calming about being in a relationship at my age. None of the stress or expectations that I felt as a twenty year old.
Establishing a career, marriage, parents, buying houses. How did my wife and I manage it?

I figure if two older people want to be together, they should be. If it doesn't work out, I've had a little more happiness in my life for that time period. We seem amazingly compatible, so I'm hopeful it will work out.

Take care all my fellow widows and widowers out there. I hope you can find some moments of happiness, as a single person, or with someone new if that happens.

JP
Click to expand...


Great post, JP. I'm happy for you also. I know you said a while back that you are headed to Florida for a while this winter, to your new house. Is your new partner going to be able to join you?
 
Great post JP

I have found a compatible woman almost 2 years now. I do much better in a monogamous relationship instead of just dating. I need an emotional attachment and luckily formed a very good one.
 
Gravity,
It is also nice to hear that you met someone. That wasn't true when you started this post.
Note: I searched widows to find it.

Hermit,
Keep living life and having fun. Follow your interests. I'm rooting for you to get hooked up at some point too. I do believe there is someone for everyone. I may be an example of that.

Copyright,
I agree, the women are way ahead of us on this stuff.

I think or hope women will let a guy know if they are interested in some way. Of course I didn't notice any of that, because I'm totally clueless on this topic.

Her cousin basically had to pull me aside, and spell it out for me. Duh.

RAE,
Yes, her and her cat are going down there with me. Loading up my pickup truck, and hitting the road. We hope to be at my place in Bonita Springs by the end of the month.

How is that for crazy talk? Life is short. I'm diving into this situation (new relationship and snowbirding) all of the way.

We both enjoy riding bicycles together, so our bikes will be on the back of the truck too.
Grapes of wrath style.

Wish us some luck.

JP
 
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Hermit said:
If I ever get to the point where a partner becomes more front and center, maybe I would need to visit a barber and wear something other than flannel shirts and jeans. Being in the Hermit mode doesn't help in the "chick magnet" arena, even with the widower label.
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I suppose that may be true. BUT if you do attract someone "just as you are" I'd say she's probably a keeper. Being who you are is a lot easier than being someone else. YMMV
 
Koolau said:
I suppose that may be true. BUT if you do attract someone "just as you are" I'd say she's probably a keeper. Being who you are is a lot easier than being someone else. YMMV
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Be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then, always be Batman.
 
Koolau said:
I suppose that may be true. BUT if you do attract someone "just as you are" I'd say she's probably a keeper. Being who you are is a lot easier than being someone else. YMMV
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Its been over 11 years since DW died. The only change is my house is getting closer to being done. I had a couple of widow ladies out for a visit a couple weeks ago. Long time friends but no romantic interest. A couple women from Church have shown interest along the way, but nothing that progressed any farther than lite conversation.



One thing I have found is you just don't know what tomorrow will bring. Challenges are many, accomplishments are fulfilling, and friends and family are very important (I am now a grandpa!). Life is good, but there are bumps, big and small, along the way.
 
My personal observation has been that men, assuming they're not absolutely repulsive, only go without a partner because they don't really want one.
 
A friend of mine lost his wife in his mid 70's. Within a year he was traveling about with his new girl friend. His kids were not happy. They thought he needed to mourn longer. He told me about that and then asked me, "I'm 76. Just how long do they expect me to wait?"
 
I seriously doubt it's the first one. (You don't also hang out on forums where they talk about Chads and Staceys and Beckys, do you? :LOL:

Hermit said:
Humm... I am not sure which category I would fit into. :)
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Amethyst said:
I seriously doubt it's the first one. (You don't also hang out on forums where they talk about Chads and Staceys and Beckys, do you? :LOL:
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This is the only forum I hang out on. I have never tried on line dating, so maybe I do fit in the latter category.
 
Sorry! I tried not to be too explicit :D Those are the truly repulsive men I was referring to. All the rest of youse guys should be just fine :LOL::angel:

Out-to-Lunch said:
I had to google that. And now I need brain bleach! :D
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