Why do people think we’re/I’m crazy? Lol

[daylatedollarshort]

I have a friend who is not sure what to do in retirement and lives in the same area as we do. I try to be a sympathetic listener, but in my head I'm thinking there's about 1,000 wineries within an hour's drive, 65 regional parks with over 1K miles of trails, the library has free passes to over 50 cultural attractions, plus tons of clubs, volunteer opportunities, theater companies - just really a lot to do. I'm on an astronomy event list and if that was my only hobby there are enough activities and volunteer opportunities to do only astro events all week long, let alone all the other activities.

Most weeks we are doing activity triage because there's always much more to do than we have time for, especially when we combine fun stuff with taking care of the finances, house, yard, errands, etc. I could see maybe being bored in retirement if I had a job like rock star or astronaut, but working in an office building and filling out TPS reports? How hard is it to find something more interesting and rewarding to do than that?

 

[JoeWras]

I could see maybe being bored in retirement if I had a job like rock star or astronaut, but working in an office building and filling out TPS reports? How hard is it to find something more interesting and rewarding to do than that?

Filled out three TPS reports this morning. During the process all I could think of was: "a few more months is this mindless bs..."

In my 20 years at Megacorp, TPS reports expanded from 3 lines and 1 checkbox to 3 pages and 10 checkboxes. For the life of me, I don't get it. Then my boss yells at me about the cover sheet!

I'm not joking! Just replace "TPS report" with our problem/test reporting system and it all works, right down to the cover sheet.

 

[Dtail]

I've got a neighbor that retired at 75 and through our conversations knew my plan was to retire at 55,(achievied my goal last year). He would occasionally make snarky comments about my plans and I just let it roll off. We had a mutual friend about my age get laid-off from his IT job and hasn't had any luck getting a new one. My neighbor said that our friend would have to find a new job because "his mind is too good not to work". Guess mine's not, the snark continues.

Lots of great minds on this site including yours I'm sure. Just jealously that they haven't figured it out for themselves.

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

these are the same people that can tell you there fantasy football stats but have no ideal what a 401 K is. That is what drives me crazy. they are just lazy

That is true. I am not sure though that it is laziness that is the sole reason. Well, laziness could account for some of it, but I think it's the thought process which is different along with priorities in life. I can't say that watching football and knowing stats is bad, I can say it is lousy for building ones net worth if watching football is the highest priority.
I know a lot of people who can run circles around me in sport stats but have no idea what a mutual fund is or how it works. Even more important, they are not good at saving money. Could they if they wanted to? Maybe, but it's just not on their radar.

 

[2lhasas]

When I announced my retirement at 50 in January, one of my colleagues exclaimed,"I'm buying a new house and you're retiring?" I replied that was her choice. I think consumerism in the U.S. is really well ingrained. So many of our friends have mini-mansions, drive luxury cars, wear expensive designers, and honestly can't imagine how they could save more. That's a choice, but to me, not one that really adds to my every day live.

22 more days to Freedom.

 

[JoeWras]

When I announced my retirement at 50 in January, one of my colleagues exclaimed,"I'm buying a new house and you're retiring?" I replied that was her choice. I think consumerism in the U.S. is really well ingrained. So many of our friends have mini-mansions, drive luxury cars, wear expensive designers, and honestly can't imagine how they could save more. That's a choice, but to me, not one that really adds to my every day live.

22 more days to Freedom.

The house thing should not be underestimated. I have noticed many 50+ hanging on because of the future house. For mortgage, something bigger, dream home, etc. Many reasons.

I've been in the same house for over 30 years. This saves a ton of money. Many friends in that time have switched up to 3 to 5 times, locally! I can't imagine all the fees that occurred. Money out the window.

 

[FargoI]

Late to this post, my apologies.

In response to the OP ---IMHO, I believe most people are not educated in basic personal financial principles- and likely can't comprehend FIRE in the context of their personal lifestyle, learned behavior for immediate gratification and ultimately, huge debt load.

One of the most important things FI folks can do is to teach hard working, ethical people how to liberate themselves from the shackles of excessive consumption.

As a parent, I know first hand, my adult children learn better from other adults than from the (real or perceived) helicopter parent. That said - for open mined people, this forum is priceless and it's not too bad for like minded people as well Thank you to all contributors and moderators.

 

[marko]

People often lack imagination. Or exposure to different lifestyles.

We have a friend who's worth ~$6MM (inherited) but still views the world like an hourly worker; never had exposure to real wealth along the way and can't visualize how people with wealth have different options.

 

[street]

I'm not sure people think I'm crazy but some of my old friends seem very quite around me. My ER didn't make me feel real good about myself because not many even talked to me about it. Some of us worked together for 30 plus years.

It really doesn't matter now I don't make any effort to see them and they don't make any effort to see me either. I can tell you that your identity in the world does change and people may look at you that you like you are crazy. LOL

 

[Dtail]

I'm not sure people think I'm crazy but some of my old friends seem very quite around me. My ER didn't make me feel real good about myself because not many even talked to me about it. Some of us worked together for 30 plus years.

It really doesn't matter now I don't make any effort to see them and they don't make any effort to see me either. I can tell you that your identity in the world does change and people may look at you that you like you are crazy. LOL

+1
Severed relationships with former workers in order to move on to this wonderful next stage of retirement life. Made it much easier not hearing about my old group blah blah blah.....

 

[Mdlerth]

The moving finger writes, and having writ moves on

I don't plan to sever any relationships with former co-w*rkers, but I expect most will simply dissipate due to physical and temporal separation. That's what has happened with most of the folks I've known who have preceded me into retirement.

 

[ncbill]

never saw a single co-worker again after leaving the last corporate job, well over a decade ago.

 

[skipro33]

never saw a single co-worker again after leaving the last corporate job, well over a decade ago.

I tried to stay in contact. I quickly discovered there is a HUGE difference to a co-worker and a friend. Civility in the work place shouldn't be confused with true friendship. After a year, I realized I was the only one making the contact, so I decided I'd wait to hear back from anyone. Never did.

 

[jjquantz]

I tried to stay in contact. I quickly discovered there is a HUGE difference to a co-worker and a friend. Civility in the work place shouldn't be confused with true friendship. After a year, I realized I was the only one making the contact, so I decided I'd wait to hear back from anyone. Never did.

From my experience, I'm not sure this is just a co-worker/friend dichotomy. DW and I have found that most of our friends won't take ANY initiative to create a social gathering. Of course, most of our friends have a bit of a tendency toward introversion. So, we have had to be the organizer in nearly all of our friend relationships. Sometimes DW can get a little bitter about that. Of course, if I had to initiate social interactions I would never see anyone either.

 

[kgtest]

My own family and DW doubts me. Most say, with time, my ambitious goals will shift with reality. I think my reality is a bit different than the status-quo but doesn't it take a little bit of a distorted perspective to see the diamond in the rough? Way more people doubt me or say yeah right, than those that say good luck I am on that journey too.

 

[Dtail]

I tried to stay in contact. I quickly discovered there is a HUGE difference to a co-worker and a friend. Civility in the work place shouldn't be confused with true friendship. After a year, I realized I was the only one making the contact, so I decided I'd wait to hear back from anyone. Never did.

Exactly.....

 

[jazz4cash]

I tried to stay in contact. I quickly discovered there is a HUGE difference to a co-worker and a friend. Civility in the work place shouldn't be confused with true friendship. After a year, I realized I was the only one making the contact, so I decided I'd wait to hear back from anyone. Never did.

I never mistook work associates for freinds, but my experience has been quite different. A bunch of us recent retirees have been reaching out to stay in touch. This actually includes a few OMY'ers as well as some that have many miles to go. It has been quite rewarding that people I regard as acquaintances but not friends seem to be glad to hear from me. Sometimes it seems like I am the only one being active, but I as I think about it I never did much to reach out to the folks that left ahead of me (with a few exceptions).

 

[Montecfo]

Filled out three TPS reports this morning. During the process all I could think of was: "a few more months is this mindless bs..."

In my 20 years at Megacorp, TPS reports expanded from 3 lines and 1 checkbox to 3 pages and 10 checkboxes. For the life of me, I don't get it. Then my boss yells at me about the cover sheet!

I'm not joking! Just replace "TPS report" with our problem/test reporting system and it all works, right down to the cover sheet.

Joe, could you just go ahead and get those TPS reports out? And don't forget the cover sheet and check boxes. Do i need to send you another memo?

 

[Amethyst]

The only co-worker I know who claims "I can never retire," blames her house, and how much it costs to keep it up. She has always been focused on having a perfect, flawless, spotless house, with all the latest upgrades.

For example: When I had two of the bathrooms rejuvenated, I only had the tile and showers replaced. I kept the original vanities, jet tub, mirror, etc. since they were in perfectly good shape. And I did the painting, since painting a bathroom isn't that challenging. She, meanwhile, hired a designer and completely remodeled the equivalent two bathrooms. And did not touch a paintbrush. Where I spent $25K she probably spent $80K+.

I'm afraid to have her and her husband over to our house, even though ours is a very nice house...she has made little wry remarks in the past, noticing this little flaw and that, and I know they would pick our house to death after they leave.

The house thing should not be underestimated. I have noticed many 50+ hanging on because of the future house. For mortgage, something bigger, dream home, etc. Many reasons.

I've been in the same house for over 30 years. This saves a ton of money. Many friends in that time have switched up to 3 to 5 times, locally! I can't imagine all the fees that occurred. Money out the window.

 

[brett]

You are on the right track. This is exactly what we did.

I do not think that it is all attributable to lack of imagination. For many it is because they lack the foresight or are too lazy or self absorbed to sit down, think about their future (career and retirement), and chart a course/plan for themselves.

Even some that do lack the determination to stick with the plan, make changes as appropriate, but remain on the path. There is always a bigger TV to buy or a new model of automobile.

Then there are others, far too many, who are absolutely stuck in in jail of conformity and don't seem to have the desire to think out of the box. They keep up with the Jones' types are the ones that buy what and when everyone else is buying because if everyone else is doing this it must be the smart thing to do.

Stick to your own course. In my limited experience in my career and in my personal financial life I have found that moving with the 'pack' was the usually the poorer choice. Retiring early and being financially independent has been our reward.

There will always be some people who will poo hoo your thoughts on this. This is because they are envious. Envious of your plan and your ability to execute. It contrasts poorly with the person who has no plan, let alone does have the discipline to stick with it and/or make changes as needed.

 

[Out of Steam]

My officemate is in his late 60s, and thinks I'm positively nuts for planning to retire at 60. I've had other people at work tell me I'm too young to retire.

 

[marko]

My officemate is in his late 60s, and thinks I'm positively nuts for planning to retire at 60. I've had other people at work tell me I'm too young to retire.

When I (involuntarily) RE' d at 53, my HR VP wondered aloud if "skiing the Alps all winter and sailing all summer" would be enough to keep me happy.
Now, there was a guy who lacked imagination!

 

[JoeWras]

Joe, could you just go ahead and get those TPS reports out? And don't forget the cover sheet and check boxes. Do i need to send you another memo?

Yes, send me another memo. Yeah, that would be great....

 

[JoeWras]

The only co-worker I know who claims "I can never retire," blames her house, and how much it costs to keep it up. She has always been focused on having a perfect, flawless, spotless house, with all the latest upgrades.

For example: When I had two of the bathrooms rejuvenated, I only had the tile and showers replaced. I kept the original vanities, jet tub, mirror, etc. since they were in perfectly good shape. And I did the painting, since painting a bathroom isn't that challenging. She, meanwhile, hired a designer and completely remodeled the equivalent two bathrooms. And did not touch a paintbrush. Where I spent $25K she probably spent $80K+.

I'm afraid to have her and her husband over to our house, even though ours is a very nice house...she has made little wry remarks in the past, noticing this little flaw and that, and I know they would pick our house to death after they leave.

A house is not a museum. Live in it, enjoy it! I think your co-worker (and many people) consider it some sort of showcase for other people. It is some expression of your status, blah, blah, blah.

Think about your visits to other's homes. Which were memorable? The ones full of love, noise and dirty footprints? Or the ones where you had to take off your shoes and bow down to the god of the carpet?

I remember visiting a friend's home for an impromptu picnic party. Great guy. He decided we needed some picnic fun, so he pounded in a few stakes and we played horseshoes... right on that nice front lawn. We tracked dirt all over the place. The kids got dangerously close to flying iron. What a hoot! These were real people who just wanted to connect with the world, not their house-museum.

So, I'm with you Amethyst. Most renovations can bring great satisfaction for a fraction of "what you are supposed to do".

 

[Nemo2]

I recall, eons ago, visiting a couples' house......they might just as well have had stanchions and velvet ropes delineating the 'no go' areas....which was pretty much everywhere.