MuirWannabe
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
- Joined
- Oct 14, 2009
- Messages
- 2,118
DW and I have always had a very close relationship with DD. DD is 24, a working nurse, and very much now all grown up and financially viable.
She has been dating a guy for 9 months now and signs are pointed to engagement soon. DW and I have big concerns. The boyfriend is a nice guy, a Christian, and seems to treat her nicely. But he is 28 and only graduated HS. He has no college schooling. He has an hourly job that amounts to a gopher/errand guy in an oil firm. He readily admits that is not what he wants to do long term but is vague at best on where he wants to head in his career. He lives barely paycheck to paycheck.
We are concerned about his inability to provide financially to the future of their potential marriage and family. It will limit DD's options and choices and indicates a life different that what she is used to.
We have directly expressed our concerns in an extremely difficult conversation with DD. She was highly upset and we are of course worried about damaging such an important relationship between us. For now, DD has made the decision to move forward with this relationship and we have told her we will work towards acceptance and peace with her decision. But it aint that easy as it turns out. We really feel deep down she is making a terrible mistake and I envision an 'I told you so moment' in the future that would be awful and too late by then.
How do you accept and come to peace with something like this when you truly believe your DD is making a terrible mistake? I do not think there is any choice but to try. But still we struggle with it.
Have you ever struggled to accept something so important that went against everything you felt deep down? If so, I'd love your guidance. Maybe it helps some just typing it out on here.....not really though.
Thanks.
Muir
She has been dating a guy for 9 months now and signs are pointed to engagement soon. DW and I have big concerns. The boyfriend is a nice guy, a Christian, and seems to treat her nicely. But he is 28 and only graduated HS. He has no college schooling. He has an hourly job that amounts to a gopher/errand guy in an oil firm. He readily admits that is not what he wants to do long term but is vague at best on where he wants to head in his career. He lives barely paycheck to paycheck.
We are concerned about his inability to provide financially to the future of their potential marriage and family. It will limit DD's options and choices and indicates a life different that what she is used to.
We have directly expressed our concerns in an extremely difficult conversation with DD. She was highly upset and we are of course worried about damaging such an important relationship between us. For now, DD has made the decision to move forward with this relationship and we have told her we will work towards acceptance and peace with her decision. But it aint that easy as it turns out. We really feel deep down she is making a terrible mistake and I envision an 'I told you so moment' in the future that would be awful and too late by then.
How do you accept and come to peace with something like this when you truly believe your DD is making a terrible mistake? I do not think there is any choice but to try. But still we struggle with it.
Have you ever struggled to accept something so important that went against everything you felt deep down? If so, I'd love your guidance. Maybe it helps some just typing it out on here.....not really though.
Thanks.
Muir