Points for thought here;
This situation sounds like the "War" that my SIL and her husband in California had in 2005 or so (that was the start date) that was supposed to end in a year. He was a Sr Tax Partner at KPMG (Peat Marwick) at the time and this marriage was the second for both. Both came into the marriage well off, financially (Big Sunnyvale, Ca house (paid for), summer house in Tahoe, trusts for kids, expensive cars, lots of money, assets and earnings).
I don't know what really kicked it off (the divorce procedure), but it could have been similar reasons as the OP is stating, and then some. The War, as us family members call it, started with her kicking him out of the Sunyvale house, which he titled in her name shortly after they married in 1995. (It was his house originally) He rented an apartment and continued to work. She sat at home and put the house up for sale and started planning a new, luxurious, life.
Well, both got very, very good (and expensive) lawyers and the show started. For the next 5 years they had several draft divorces settlement agreements, court appearances, she hired a Forensic Accountant, they fought through e-mail, regular mail, phones calls, etc. The fighting spread to children and us family members distanced ourselves from them.
After spending an undisclosed amount (we guess $500K combined) on attorneys, they gave up and
got back together after 5 years
. He had a stroke near the end of this and she came to the realization that there would not be enough left for her to live the lifestyle she wanted after the divorce. They live together now in a much smaller house, and are constantly bickering, but kind of need each other in some ways. Both are "retired" for a better description of their status.
The point I am trying to make is this can turn into a "War" for you two if you are not careful, or if one party decides to keep the game going to see how much you can spend on legal fees. There will also be collateral damage that you had not counted on, etc. I suggest getting on track to ending your marriage as you plan and do so as suggested in many posts above. Good luck!