Children: You did or did not have them poll?

[Meadbh]

now I am almost 39. No kids for me.

kaudrey, you do realize, don't you, that an Italian woman and a Romanian woman recently gave birth in their 60s? Not that I'd recommend it.....

In the pregnancy stakes, you are a spring chicken! In fact, you are now 5 years younger than my mom was when I was born.

Statistics: older mothers, facts, figures & information on older motherhood

 

[Meadbh]

Absolutely! I think you're making a understatement! There is a huge financial advantage to not having kids. I didn't reach FI until 55 and didn't RE until 58. Don't care to make the financially painful calculations, but I'd guess we could have made FIRE by 45 had we decided to be child-free. I'm happy the way we did things and am content with how we lived our lives, but financially, it's not even close. Child-free = early FIRE, if investing for FI is what you want to do with your money.

I agree there is an upfront financial advantage to not having kids. However, if you have no money when you are 90, it's better to have kids who can care for you, than not. That's worth a lot!

 

[Khan]

I agree there is an upfront financial advantage to not having kids. However, if you have no money when you are 90, it's better to have kids who can care for you, than not. That's worth a lot!

All you need is a way to make sure that said kids will care for you.

 

[freebird5825]

All you need is a way to make sure that said kids will care for you.

interesting observation, Khan. i've read several articles about the "sandwich generation", i.e. middle agers are taking care of their elderly parents now while their adult kids (of the middle agers) are still living at home, simultaneously. is that even possible $-wise? seems like the adult kids should be stepping up to the plate and taking care of a) their own lives, and b) down the road their eventually elderly parents.
ergo, did i miss something by not having kids? hmmmmmm...

 

[youbet]

ergo, did i miss something by not having kids? hmmmmmm...

Well...... if you'd had kids you would have reduced your probability of RE'ing in your 40's. As mentioned above, I worked at least an additional decade funding the family. It's what I wanted to do and I did it. But I sure wouldn't recommend it to the faint of heart!

It's not a decision to be taken lightly and I'm really glad to hear so many here chose their path thoughtfully and realistically.

 

[bssc]

bssc, me too! Plus 4 dogs right now and the sheep.
It was actually cold last night, and all 5 cats were asleep on me like a patchwork fur blanket. Cute, I tell 'ya!

We end up with 3 or 4, the fifth is aloof and very furry so she doesn't need us.

 

[RetireeRobert]

Have three great kids now 24, 18, and 15.

Would have had more, and never did anything to stop it, except we got too old.

 

[Puzzley]

Our two came along at the same time (twins) unexpectedly when we'd been married only a year, with my wife 20 and I 23. And, I do mean unexpectedly, since we didn't know it was a two for one situation until the last minute, so we were most unprepared in all ways, but especially financially. It was a real strain for us in the early years, but after we got everything sorted out, we tried for more, but it never happened.

In retrospect, having our kids early was a financial windfall for us, because we had plenty of years to save after they had been educated and left the nest. they will be 40 in December.

One granddaughter now, probably the only grandchild, and she is precious to us!

 

[freebird5825]

Well...... if you'd had kids you would have reduced your probability of RE'ing in your 40's. As mentioned above, I worked at least an additional decade funding the family. It's what I wanted to do and I did it. But I sure wouldn't recommend it to the faint of heart!

It's not a decision to be taken lightly and I'm really glad to hear so many here chose their path thoughtfully and realistically.

absolutely positively would have made a difference for my ER.

and i'll bet anything your kids will be the success stories.

 

[Kronk]

Absolutely! I think you're making a understatement! There is a huge financial advantage to not having kids. I didn't reach FI until 55 and didn't RE until 58. Don't care to make the financially painful calculations, but I'd guess we could have made FIRE by 45 had we decided to be child-free. I'm happy the way we did things and am content with how we lived our lives, but financially, it's not even close. Child-free = early FIRE, if investing for FI is what you want to do with your money.

Actually, I don't think I phrased my thoughts correctly. What I was thinking about was more of a chicken-or-the-egg kind of thing. No kids definitely leads to more money.

But, is the correlation because...
Not having kids and retiring early are the same type of convention-challenging thinking, so a person who challenges one challenges the other?

Or, are the demographics of this board skewed because childless people look at their money flow, realize they don't need to work to sixty-five to meet their needs, and then find this forum?

Or, do people consciously choose not to have kids because of the goal of FIRE?

Actually, since life isn't black and white, probably all of those play a part. Still, if there is a correlation, it piques my interest as to what exactly is the cause of the correlation.

 

[youbet]

Actually, since life isn't black and white, probably all of those play a part.

I also think it's a mix of all those things and more. We could banter anecdotal examples back and forth, but life's decisions and the outcomes that result sometimes defy descriptive statistics. Sometimes I just prefer to let the mystery be.

 

[youbet]

BTW, my heartly congratulations to all the parents and grandparents, myself included, who participated in this thread and who all refrained from posting pictures of your little darlings! Willpower and self control at its finest!

And, similarly, congratulations to all who didn't have kids/grandkids suck their bank accounts dry for not posting pictures of your cool, exotic vacations, hot cars (OK, except for Freebird's Mustang!), high tier motorcycle collections and summer homes. Very cool!

 

[myself]

Guess we're in the "Wanted kids but had too many (over 3)?".
Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way. We stopped at 4.
None of them were planned. But then again, we didn't prevent the possibility either.

We pretty much filled the rooms in our house. Stressful ... at times.
Enjoyable ... for me, beyond belief! Then again, my wife says I'm just a really big kid.

We're planning on FIREing me at just under 60. And DW may possibly be FIREd already (she stays at home with the adorable little ones).

 

[bright eyed]

if you count the people legally under 18, it's 3, 2 i birthed, one stepson i got for "free" - if you count the ones who need to be fed and walked it's 5 - including the SO and dog...

I think it's great for people to choose to be child free - parenting is the hardest job i've ever had.

Also, if you have kids you have to focus most of your time and resources on your kids. if you don't - you can help a multitude of them either as a mentor or in some other way (helping babysit a ragged parent friend or relative) etc. and we all know there are kids and parents who need the support...

 

[Aspire2FIRE]

DW and I didn't want kids for the first 15 years we spent together (we enjoyed the freedom and travelling) but changed our minds last year... we now have a beautiful 12 week old daughter. She is an absolute joy but I have to say that combining work and sleep deprivation is tough! I guess we might have another kid but think we'll wait for a year or two.

 

[freebird5825]

BTW, my heartly congratulations to all the parents and grandparents, myself included, who participated in this thread and who all refrained from posting pictures of your little darlings! Willpower and self control at its finest!

And, similarly, congratulations to all who didn't have kids/grandkids suck their bank accounts dry for not posting pictures of your cool, exotic vacations, hot cars (OK, except for Freebird's Mustang!), high tier motorcycle collections and summer homes. Very cool!

oops, sorry, was I being ostentatious? LOL

believe it or not, my Stang was only $26K brand new in 2005. it's a Premium, not a GT. the insurance on the GT was almost double the Premium cost. Ouch. and the sticker price on the GT made my eyes wobble.

6 cylinders is more than enough to keep me in trouble.

 

[HFWR]

In an entirely alien, ideal world, I'd have had 2.1 kids...

As it was, I had one. Kept the kid but gave the wife back...

 

[tibbar]

I wanted kids but had to many. I had a son and daughter with my first husband. I was going to have ONE with my second husband. We had identical girl TRIPLETS ... proof God has a sense of humor. Just under 3 years later we added a son to the mix. The end, done, no more!!

 

[Meadbh]

Or, are the demographics of this board skewed because childless people look at their money flow, realize they don't need to work to sixty-five to meet their needs, and then find this forum?

Yup.

 

[Buckeye]

None of my own, one step-daughter, and one grandson. My decision not to have kids was colored by my first-hand experience as a kid as to how having children can be a quick trip to poverty for a women when the husband/father decides to desert (physically and financially) his family. It's a little harder nowadays for someone with significant means to escape the financial responsibility but it wasn't when I was growing up.

I also believe moms should stay home with the kids when they are young and based on my experience there was no way I was ever going to stop earning an income and depend on someone else for support.

 

[Orchidflower]

Let's just say that I, personally, would be a whole lot richer if I hadn't had my child. Not very rich in the experience of love, but rich with money. It's a trade-off I was willing to make. To each their own.

 

[Moemg]

BTW, my heartly congratulations to all the parents and grandparents, myself included, who participated in this thread and who all refrained from posting pictures of your little darlings! Willpower and self control at its finest!

And, similarly, congratulations to all who didn't have kids/grandkids suck their bank accounts dry for not posting pictures of your cool, exotic vacations, hot cars (OK, except for Freebird's Mustang!), high tier motorcycle collections and summer homes. Very cool!

It took all my willpower not to post a picture of my new grandson and the only reason I did not do it was because he's soooo cute even the childless posters would want one .

 

[Khan]

It took all my willpower not to post a picture of my new grandson and the only reason I did not do it was because he's soooo cute even the childless posters would want one .

Am I the only one who does not think babies are cute?

 

[Buckeye]

Going the step-mom route to a 20-something young lady and then getting to be a grandma at the relatively young age of 35 almost seems like cheating. I never had to do the hard lifting and I get a lot of the benefits. The situation also let me tame any biological clock rumblings I had by us taking our infant/toddler grandson from Friday night to Sunday afternoon ("how many more minutes before they come to pick him up?") once a month. Being a parent is best left to the young!

 

[W2R]

Am I the only one who does not think babies are cute?

Yes.

They are all cute, every last one of them!! I know you are a philosopher at heart; think of the newness, potential, energy, and future each one of them possesses. They are untarnished by corruption, cruelty, and so on. Each one has so many possibilities ahead, whereas we older folks have already closed so many doors. Granted, an individual baby might end up being the new Hitler or Attilla the Hun, but I prefer to think of their positive potential.