Cremation or Traditional

[Katsmeow]

I actually like obits simply because I am interested in genealogy and helping adoptees and others with unknown relatives find their family history. I get a lot of my information from obits. Some of them are extremely detailed.

It doesn't take long when looking at obits for genealogy purposes to know what you like or don't like. For example, I don't like those that list grandchildren by name without saying who goes with which child.

I was thinking about funerals and all that recently. I went to a viewing of someone that I had known most of my life. As usual, I was struck by how - well - nice the viewing was. The reunion part of the viewing and talking to people. I don't actually like the viewing part and avoided looking in the casket.

I also like the post-funeral going back to the house and having dinner as is common in my area.

Which means I think that I would really just prefer to have the dinner and the social aspects and maybe talk informally about the deceased and maybe have some pictures (I've seen some with slideshows that are sort of nice) and skip the actual viewing and skip the actual service...

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I actually like obits simply because I am interested in genealogy and helping adoptees and others with unknown relatives find their family history. I get a lot of my information from obits. Some of them are extremely detailed.

It doesn't take long when looking at obits for genealogy purposes to know what you like or don't like. For example, I don't like those that list grandchildren by name without saying who goes with which child.

I was thinking about funerals and all that recently. I went to a viewing of someone that I had known most of my life. As usual, I was struck by how - well - nice the viewing was. The reunion part of the viewing and talking to people. I don't actually like the viewing part and avoided looking in the casket.

I also like the post-funeral going back to the house and having dinner as is common in my area.

Which means I think that I would really just prefer to have the dinner and the social aspects and maybe talk informally about the deceased and maybe have some pictures (I've seen some with slideshows that are sort of nice) and skip the actual viewing and skip the actual service...

My Dad has always been a "big fan" of reading the obits from his hometown. When he would saddle up to the computer (around the same time every, single, day!) he would say, "Well, got to see if I am dead yet..." Oddly enough, we have been pestering him for YEARS to write his...or at least let us know how he generally would like it but he has been of little help. Personally, I want something that says nothing more than, "EFG5 is Dead"; not the long diatribes I see so often that read more like a LinkedIn resume than a celebration of life.

For those that like entertaining obits, the Legacy folks have an annual award for the "Grimmys"...some are pretty good.

Year's Best Obituary Writing: The 2017 Grimmy Awards | Legacy.com

 

[athena53]

Personally, I want something that says nothing more than, "EFG5 is Dead"; not the long diatribes I see so often that read more like a LinkedIn resume than a celebration of life.

Now when I see an obit that covers multiple columns of the paper I wonder what they paid for it- as I learned from DH, obits are not cheap. I'm glad I didn't include a picture.

 

[googily]

My Dad has always been a "big fan" of reading the obits from his hometown. When he would saddle up to the computer (around the same time every, single, day!) he would say, "Well, got to see if I am dead yet..." Oddly enough, we have been pestering him for YEARS to write his...or at least let us know how he generally would like it but he has been of little help. Personally, I want something that says nothing more than, "EFG5 is Dead"; not the long diatribes I see so often that read more like a LinkedIn resume than a celebration of life.

For those that like entertaining obits, the Legacy folks have an annual award for the "Grimmys"...some are pretty good.

Year's Best Obituary Writing: The 2017 Grimmy Awards | Legacy.com

Without outing myself, I will say that one of the people mentioned in that link wrote DH's obituary, and did an amazing job.

My dad always called the Obituaries the "Irish sports section."

Now when I see an obit that covers multiple columns of the paper I wonder what they paid for it- as I learned from DH, obits are not cheap. I'm glad I didn't include a picture.

There is actually a difference in the newspaper biz between "news obituaries" and "death notices." Death notices tend to be the small ones that look like classifieds that you do have to pay for. Full obituaries tend to be written by bylined staffers (at least at the larger papers), and if you live in a big city, you know that not everyone will get to have an obituary anymore. But death notices are pretty universal, especially since they make money.

 

[kcowan]

When my wife died, she was cremated. I called the cemetery back in Pittsburgh to find out the cost of interring her ashes in the family plot. Well I got a song and dance about an urn , a vault, and opening and closing, etc. to the tune of $2K! That did not include my cost of going back there...

When bro died, he stipulated in his will that he wanted to be cremated and have the ashes interred with our parents. So we had the extra costs of the urn and interment. I had noticed that others that had done that had an added brass plaque to the parents headstone and I said that is what we wanted.

They said no they don't do that anymore and that another headstone has to be added. We took a pass and rationalized that anyone who cares will know.

 

[lemming]

I have considered some options. There is a business in Oregon that takes ashes out to spread in the ocean. Nice idea to me.
I wonder about ashes spread in scenic spots. Does this bother you to know there might be hundreds of admirers of nature along the trail you are walking on. When does the top soil addition become to much. What if your chosen spot becomes an organic farm. Will you spoil their soil sample?
I am somewhat charmed by mausoleum niches . No reason for future generations just a spot of quiet and calm. I keep thinking I will wait to find where I want to live and then make arrangements..that's what they all say before lighting strikes.

 

[HF63]

Yes, cremation with ashes scattered in the ocean. No urn or plot for us!

I feel the same way spread my ashes around the mountains

 

[athena53]

I wonder about ashes spread in scenic spots. Does this bother you to know there might be hundreds of admirers of nature along the trail you are walking on. When does the top soil addition become to much. What if your chosen spot becomes an organic farm. Will you spoil their soil sample?

I am somewhat charmed by mausoleum niches . No reason for future generations just a spot of quiet and calm. I keep thinking I will wait to find where I want to live and then make arrangements..that's what they all say before lighting strikes.

"Organic" means "containing carbon" in scientific terms. That means ashes are organic, right?

Seriously- I've never left more than 1/4 cup of DH's ashes in one place. A flock of Canada geese leave more residue than that in a day.

As for a columbarium- my parents bought two niches and Mom's ashes were placed there after she died- but then Dad moved to an Independent Living place close to one of my brothers, about 2 hours away. He ended up selling the niches back to the church, driving up with my brother to get Mom's ashes and then having them "inurned" in one of two niches he bought at his current church.

A bit OT but when I was in India and we visited the site where Gandhi was cremated I asked the guide what they'd done with his ashes. Some had gone with friends and family but bits of them had also been scattered in 6 major cities of the world. DH and I chose something similar!

 

[Mdlerth]

All the iron and potassium they put in your vitamins!

"Organic" means "containing carbon" in scientific terms. That means ashes are organic, right?

Since ashes are what's left after the organic material has been combusted, cremains represent your inorganic chemicals. When you're gone, everyone will say "Athena was the Salt of the Earth."

 

[Nemo2]

When you're gone, everyone will say "Athena was the Salt of the Earth."

Which is far nicer than "A Bane in the Ash".

 

[NW-Bound]

... I wonder about ashes spread in scenic spots. Does this bother you to know there might be hundreds of admirers of nature along the trail you are walking on. When does the top soil addition become to much. What if your chosen spot becomes an organic farm. Will you spoil their soil sample?

From the Web: "Cremated remains are mostly dry calcium phosphates with some minor minerals, such as salts of sodium and potassium".

All good minerals for plants. There may be traces of chromium, manganese, nickel, cobalt, and iron. None of that is bad for the plants or environment, because they are present everywhere.

 

[athena53]

From the Web: "Cremated remains are mostly dry calcium phosphates with some minor minerals, such as salts of sodium and potassium".

All good minerals for plants. There may be traces of chromium, manganese, nickel, cobalt, and iron. None of that is bad for the plants or environment, because they are present everywhere.

Thanks. I never was an expert in chemistry! Definitely inorganic.

 

[NYEXPAT]

Cremation and urn to be carried around by my young wife till the money runs out. Then a night time burial in my ex-wife's back yard next to my childhood dogs.

 

[meierlde]

I actually like obits simply because I am interested in genealogy and helping adoptees and others with unknown relatives find their family history. I get a lot of my information from obits. Some of them are extremely detailed.

It doesn't take long when looking at obits for genealogy purposes to know what you like or don't like. For example, I don't like those that list grandchildren by name without saying who goes with which child.

I was thinking about funerals and all that recently. I went to a viewing of someone that I had known most of my life. As usual, I was struck by how - well - nice the viewing was. The reunion part of the viewing and talking to people. I don't actually like the viewing part and avoided looking in the casket.

I also like the post-funeral going back to the house and having dinner as is common in my area.

Which means I think that I would really just prefer to have the dinner and the social aspects and maybe talk informally about the deceased and maybe have some pictures (I've seen some with slideshows that are sort of nice) and skip the actual viewing and skip the actual service...

I am surprised this is not talked about, but obits are also a good way to get info to steal surviors identities. In particular the old idea of using the mothers maiden name as a secret was usually used as a secret token. Also it told folks where people lived at that date. (At least the city etc). In particular with obits on line and find a grave etc a lot of info is there.

 

[MRG]

Cremation and urn to be carried around by my young wife till the money runs out. Then a night time burial in my ex-wife's back yard next to my childhood dogs.

[emoji16]

 

[aja8888]

I am surprised this is not talked about, but obits are also a good way to get info to steal surviors identities. In particular the old idea of using the mothers maiden name as a secret was usually used as a secret token. Also it told folks where people lived at that date. (At least the city etc). In particular with obits on line and find a grave etc a lot of info is there.

Detailed obits are ways scammers get info on the surviving spouse and others to initiate financial and other scams. Quite a treasure that's is easy to harvest!

 

[dvalley]

At one point I thought cremation would be great since it is cheap and good for the environment. But I have changed my mind about that. Now I'd rather be buried traditionally, but as cheaply as possible; maybe in a cheap cemetery out in the countryside somewhere. My present rejection of cremation is due to some non-religious spiritual questions that I am grappling with which are thus far quite baffling to me but better to be safe than sorry. This probably makes little sense so just ignore it and accept that my choice is no longer cremation.

Same here...on the one hand I believe bodies are just carriers of our souls. However, I was raised to believe that a dead body is much more than that and must be treated with care and respect. Supposedly the body still feels pain and 10x as much as when alive (yeah I know) etc. The soul isn't eager to leave the body and hangs around etc etc. Who knows what's really the truth because no one I knew ever came back from the dead to clarify

 

[athena53]

Detailed obits are ways scammers get info on the surviving spouse and others to initiate financial and other scams. Quite a treasure that's is easy to harvest!

Interesting point: I once wanted to find out what happened to a former college classmate. She'd wanted badly to be a doctor, then married a guy who ALSO wanted to be a doctor and he convinced her to switch her major to nursing. I put in her name as Firstname Maidenname Lastname and her hometown and found her Dad's obituary. She'd apparently divorced the first husband and remarried, but it also listed her two daughters, both also married (darn, it's SO complicated when women change their names!). I looked them up. They're both doctors. They managed to attain what Mom gave up. I was happy to see that.

Now, I'm not a creepy Internet stalker- didn't contact anyone- but that was a heck of a lot of information and it started with an obituary.

 

[davebarnes]

I want my corpse to be thrown in the nearest dumpster. But, sadly, that appears to be illegal.

 

[braumeister]

I want something that says nothing more than, "EFG5 is Dead"

You've obviously thought this through completely, even to noting that your obit will have your name misspelled.

 

[kcowan]

A bit OT but when I was in India and we visited the site where Gandhi was cremated I asked the guide what they'd done with his ashes. Some had gone with friends and family but bits of them had also been scattered in 6 major cities of the world. DH and I chose something similar!

ISTR a movie that featured a funeral pyre being set ablaze and sent out to burn up in the ocean leaving the ashes and chunks to sink.

 

[kcowan]

You've obviously thought this through completely, even to noting that your obit will have your name misspelled.

Maybe she is really a FlyGirl? Or he is a bad typist?

 

[friar1610]

My wife and I plan on ending up at the Massacusetts National Cemetery on Cape Cod. (Always wanted a place at the Cape!) We had originally planned on cremation but then I learned that at this cemetery ashes end up in a columbarium rather than being buried in the ground. For some reason that doesn't appeal to me although that doesn't make a bit i of sense since I won't be in any condition to care at that point. If we revert to traditional burial I just need to find a way to get a cheap casket. To me it doesn't make sense to spend a bundle on what amounts to a nice piece of furniture shaped like a box only to have it put in the ground. Maybe a pine box is the way to go. VA also provides a modest headstone for free.

 

[mamadogmamacat]

the cemetery near the monastery where I plan to be "planted" requires a biodegradable container. When i buried a relatives cremains there, i got a nice lavender box off the internet for i believe $70. The plot itself was $800. That included the opening and closing by the monk's assistant who dug the hole in our presence (I did the service myself) and a stone placed later with my relatives name and birth and death dates.

 

[Telly]

"Soylent Green, Soylent Yellow"...

And then there's the Catacombs.

But for me, I want cremation, and NO viewing of the body beforehand (and not afterfoot, either)

The only "wake" I want to leave is a slight ripple in the Space-Time continuum, if there was one.

There are 7+ Billion people in the world right now, and we/they/somebody will have to get rid of all of them. Uh-oh, is this going to be a carbon-generation versus carbon-sequestering issue? A new take on the "Death Tax" .