Cremation or Traditional

[audreyh1]

Cremation is very traditional, but I know what you mean (US).

 

[audreyh1]

Religious beliefs prevent cremation, but after reading in detail about it I don't think I would be interested. It just seems (just my opinion) disrespectful of the body.

After my husband died I purchased the plot next to him. Burial wishes are at my attorneys along with my will, and my sister also has a copy.

It's wise to let your relatives know what your desire is for burial, or lack of. It's difficult for them to try to figure out your preferences once you are gone and you gave them no indication of what you would like.

Some religious beliefs say no to cremation. Many other religious beliefs embrace it.

 

[Music Lover]

Cremation. Because I don't think people should "own" land after they die.

 

[athena53]

Some religious beliefs say no to cremation. Many other religious beliefs embrace it.

Yes- I saw the cremation ghats at night in Varanasi last March. Pretty spectacular. I also floated some of DH's ashes off in a little dish made of pressed leaves with some flowers in it, while a Hindu priest chanted from the Vedas. It was one of the most profound moments of the trip even though we're Christians- it was the first place I could deposit his ashes where it was a respected practice. In many countries, such as Iceland, scattering ashes is illegal.

 

[CaptTom]

Cremation. Because I don't think people should "own" land after they die.

+1!

I figure I'm not actually going to "own" that little plot very long. Certainly not "all eternity." Human civilizations come and go pretty quickly compared to that kind of time scale.

And what exactly would I do "do" with it? Assuming I'm somehow not actually gone, am I going to just lie in my little hole and think about the pretty landscape above? I prefer to think I'll be off on a new adventure. If I want to come back and visit, there are plenty of places I'd rather go to than a cemetery.

Not trying to demean anyone with differing opinions, this just seems like common sense to me.

 

[athena53]

Cremation. Because I don't think people should "own" land after they die.

They had an interesting system at Pere Lachaise Cemetery in Paris (and probably others). While you could buy a site in perpetuity, you could also buy one for X years. After X years, it's cleared out, the remaining bones are stacked in an "ossuary" with others, and the site is resold or re-leased. That means that for a couple of generations people can visit your gravesite but after most have died off or moved away, you're no longer occupying a large space.

Jim Morrison of The Doors is buried there.

 

[Sue J]

When we were in our mid 30's a close friend died of brain cancer, leaving her husband and 1 year old daughter. In our high school days we all used to go camping at her grandmother's farm in Pennsylvania. Her husband wanted to leave her ashes in the river at the farm.

Stop here if you don't want details about cremains.

We had a nice gathering there, with her family and friends. Her husband had the cremains in a box from the crematorium. He thought it would be ashes that he could toss in the breeze or sprinkle on the water and watch it get carried downstream, but a lot of it was much larger than that. It was a shock to see pieces dropping into the shallows of the rivers edge.

It was exactly where she would have wanted to be, the farm was still in her family and she had many memories there.

 

[athena53]

Same caveat: don't read this if you shy away from the details.

He thought it would be ashes that he could toss in the breeze or sprinkle on the water and watch it get carried downstream, but a lot of it was much larger than that. It was a shock to see pieces dropping into the shallows of the river's edge.

Typically there needs to be some processing after the cremation to break down larger pieces which inevitably remain. (In Varanasi, the Chief Mourner throws them into the river.) The largest piece I've encountered in DH's cremains were less than half an inch in any dimension. Nothing was recognizable except his dental implant, which I put in a plastic bag so I could ask our dentist if he wanted to see it. He did, and I knew he would- he's a curious guy and found it pretty interesting. I'd never dealt with cremains before DH died- now I'm pretty relaxed about them.

I'm guessing the crematory your friend's family used did a less-than-thorough job.

 

[aja8888]

Same caveat: don't read this if you shy away from the details.



Typically there needs to be some processing after the cremation to break down larger pieces which inevitably remain. (In Varanasi, the Chief Mourner throws them into the river.) The largest piece I've encountered in DH's cremains were less than half an inch in any dimension. Nothing was recognizable except his dental implant, which I put in a plastic bag so I could ask our dentist if he wanted to see it. He did, and I knew he would- he's a curious guy and found it pretty interesting. I'd never dealt with cremains before DH died- now I'm pretty relaxed about them.

I'm guessing the crematory your friend's family used did a less-than-thorough job.

Some of us who choose cremation will leave behind more "hardware" than a dental implant. Me, for instance, will leave a titanium hip assembly, a pin or two from one shoulder, a plate with 4 screws from a forearm and a couple of dental implants. I guess DW (or DD) will get a bagful of high strength alloy parts when they get the box with the inorganic remains.

 

[Sunset]

When bro died, he stipulated in his will that he wanted to be cremated and have the ashes interred with our parents. So we had the extra costs of the urn and interment. I had noticed that others that had done that had an added brass plaque to the parents headstone and I said that is what we wanted.

They said no they don't do that anymore and that another headstone has to be added. We took a pass and rationalized that anyone who cares will know.

Just a thought, you could make a small thin brass plaque, and simply glue to the existing headstone.

The new glues, like polyurethane will stick to anything (nearly) and are outdoor rated.


It's your headstone.

 

[WestUniversity]

DW and I both want direct cremation. Spread the ashes at places yet to be determined...