Do You Hide Your Financial Success From Others?

[Car-Guy]

I get around that problem by having a beater car to do most of my driving around in, and keep the nicer ones in the garage.

Glad that works for you... But honestly my cars have always been a big part of my life. And life is already too short.

 

[Markola]

^^^^^ It is important to spend your money on the things that bring you joy.

 

[Surewhitey]

I've enjoyed reading everything here. DD has a clue about our situation, but not specifics. She knows that we w*rk because it's just not hard & what we want to. I'm just waiting for DW to get on board with calling it quits.

Really good friends (a couple) have a clue, but probably not accurate. I'm a shorts and t shirt guy w*rking in the garage. DW finally told me to go buy some nice shirts... For my Cali trip. She's slightly embarrassed, I think, at my dress.

Driving 2 Toyotas, 2012 & 18. Living in a 1952, 1,150 Sq ft ranch. We are pretty average to the general population.

Our dog knows everything as she eats our leftovers most meals... Except the prime ribeye of course.

 

[SJ1_]

No but very few have asked. The ones that have are usually clueless about money

 

[Souschef]

Some times the impressions can cause a problem. My younger son, (bless his heart) offered to help us if we were in a financial bind.
I thanked him profusely for his offer, and opened the curtain slightly.
I told that our house, cars, and credit cards were all paid off, and my previous years AGI was 185K.

 

[Midpack]

I don’t see any reason to explain myself. We live comfortably but we don’t hide or flaunt our FI. No one knows our financial picture, not even my Dad who pressed me once for our net worth while amending his will - I refused to tell him anything, and he was pissed.

I couldn’t care less what anyone thinks/wonders about our personal finances. It’s very rare but when asked I deflect, downplay and/or laugh it off - I’m not obligated to explain. I’m sure most people would underestimate our FI status so explaining would just make it worse…

 

[38Chevy454]

The most important thing is don't stand out. If someone does ask (that is rude however), just tell them you saved up and now are getting what you wanted. No further info needed. They don't have to know if you bought on loan or paid cash.


I personally tend to look very casual most of the time. Even with old dirty clothes from working around the house or in my garage. My wife sometimes says I should change when I go to the store. I am at the point in my life I don't have to impress anybody, or care what people think about me. In Popeye's words "I am what I am".

 

[Montecfo]

There is very litle about our financial position that is evident to people we know. We have a very nice house but old/modest cars. We tend to not spend as much on them as non-retired friends and neighbors. In fact the most visible sign is our travel which friends ofter ask about, and we are happy to discuss.

We get the occasional question about pensions since most people in this area that do retire are government (no I don't have one). Even among our close friends we do not discuss such things in enough detail to reveal much.

Neighbors probably assume we are pensioners.

Family? Older SIL is a financial type person so she asks me retirement related questions or questions about creating cash flow. Everyone else mum, thankfully.

 

[SecondCor521]

I don't even disclose assets or income on here (or MMM or BH). Sometimes I will mention spending and WRs, so if someone really wanted to they could back into an approximate FIRE stash number. But both those numbers vary over time and have adjustments that I make to them for various reasons. I also don't think I have ever posted the two numbers at the same time.

I used to share numbers with my Dad and Mom. I stopped doing that about 10 years ago because (a) Mom didn't care, (b) it was never enough to impress Dad, and (c) I didn't want my Dad to know that much anymore.

I have started sharing some approximate numbers with my three kids as part of a long process of trying to properly prepare them for their (future, potential but probable) inheritance. Two of them don't care and are more frugal than me. The other is a spender and keenly interested, but is also showing some good character and wisdom about it lately - he seems to be slowly catching on that his siblings have money because they save it and he doesn't because he spends it all, and not having money isn't that fun.

 

[RetiredHappy]

Children can have different perspective of wealth. I sent my son to the best college prep private school in our area for his middle and high school as the megacorp which I worked for, just moved me here from overseas. He has a learning disability and I wanted to shelter him from school bullies and hence the private school route. It was a secular school and each grade had about 30 students.

I bought a home about 8 houses down from the school so that he could walk home when he got older as I worked long hours. Anyway, one day I was lamenting that our backyard was not quite big enough to put in a small lap pool. He must have been around 14 yo and immediately said that I was too poor to build a pool anyway even if we had the land. Now, he went to school with alot of uber wealthy kids and most of them live in the same area, except in much bigger and nicer homes. It took me by surprise and I asked him why he thought we were poor. He said that I was always saying that we could not afford this or that and that I was always broke. I then told him the story of one of my staff who just moved from a 2-BR home to a 3-BR home because they were cramped with 3 growing kids. This staff said his family came to the conclusion that with the new home mortgage they could only eat out at a fast food restaurant once a month. I told my son that my staff made about $100K a year and was not considered poor, and that we all needed to budget. We were eating out every dinner, mainly at a sushi restaurant closeby, except on the weekends when I cooked.

My son is now grown up and he knows that we have enough money but certainly not rich. Each day he has a little more understanding of money. Still, he would rather put money underneath his mattress than to invest in the stock market. He knows that he is going to get an inheritance but I tell him that he will still need to work because it won't be enough. A little white lie gets him motivated to keep a job.

 

[Stormy Kromer]

I heard this phrase somewhere, maybe on this forum.

"When you're 20 you worry about what people are thinking of you. When you're 40 you don't care what people think of you. When you're 60 you realize nobody was thinking of you at all anyway".

I've got to get more on that 60 year old mindset.

 

[MrEd]

I'm a shorts and t shirt guy w*rking in the garage. DW finally told me to go buy some nice shirts..

I can relate. My wife wants to burn my "wardrobe" but homeless chic is what I feel most comfortable wearing.

 

[Gumby]

The young wife occasionally reminds me that certain shirts and pants are "for gardening only", and not otherwise to be worn in public.

 

[Chuckanut]

"When you're 20 you worry about what people are thinking of you. When you're 40 you don't care what people think of you. When you're 60 you realize nobody was thinking of you at all anyway".

I've got to get more on that 60 year old mindset.

+1 It's great to be invisible.

I have some friends who spent far to excessively (new car every 3- 4 years for example) and now struggle with retirement money issues. They aren't poor, but they have to budget and watch expenditures very carefully. One also does Door Dash to earn extra money. My philosophy is simple when they bring up money issues: Never Complain, Never Explain.

 

[skyking1]

The young wife occasionally reminds me that certain shirts and pants are "for gardening only", and not otherwise to be worn in public.

I have a shirt on like that. This shirt will go into the rags. We did a deep dive in the closet and I identified some shirts for culling with extreme prejudice

 

[Keim]

I am pleased with where I am at, but am humbled by the people I work with.
They put my thriftiness to utter shame. One is formerly homeless and a little slow. She gets buy on a gov't disability check, and a small amount from my nonprofit for cleaning. All told less than $1k/month. She shared with me that she has saved over $30k-and wanted to donate $1k to the nonprofit we work at. That savings is a huge accomplishment given her status. Another has a family of 5 living on what we pay-which isn't much.

We are not rich. Got about 15x yearly expenses invested, and almost everything is paid off. House is our starter home, bought in 1998. I drive a 1993 f150 truck. Newest vehicle is a 2012 Honda. Am currently paying for a college student with no loans. We keep our economic status quiet.

Sometimes a little too quiet. About five years ago parents and brother were concerned that we couldn't afford to cover our portion of a planned trip to the Oregon coast for a week. Had to reassure both that it wasn't a problem.

Our kids, one in HS and the other college, know that we have a decent stash for what we do. I run a small start-up nonprofit and DS is a mid-level state worker. When they were younger they asked and were told "We have enough for all that we need and most of what we need." We must've role modelled good behavior-oldest daughter has opened up her own Vanguard account. Youngest daughter works small jobs and saves her money well.

My staff may have some clue since they know I have a small mountain cabin I go to whenever possible, and an old car I fixed up. I also made certain they knew the cabin was a foreclosure that had been abandoned for 10 years and I fixed it up and the car was my 1st.

Hard work and a lot of luck have both blessed my family-but I see every day how easily it could've gone a different direction.

 

[Retire52]

I don't even disclose assets or income on here (or MMM or BH). Sometimes I will mention spending and WRs, so if someone really wanted to they could back into an approximate FIRE stash number. But both those numbers vary over time and have adjustments that I make to them for various reasons. I also don't think I have ever posted the two numbers at the same time.

I used to share numbers with my Dad and Mom. I stopped doing that about 10 years ago because (a) Mom didn't care, (b) it was never enough to impress Dad, and (c) I didn't want my Dad to know that much anymore.

I have started sharing some approximate numbers with my three kids as part of a long process of trying to properly prepare them for their (future, potential but probable) inheritance. Two of them don't care and are more frugal than me. The other is a spender and keenly interested, but is also showing some good character and wisdom about it lately - he seems to be slowly catching on that his siblings have money because they save it and he doesn't because he spends it all, and not having money isn't that fun.

I havent told anyone, except my DW, and those in this forum what we have. When asked I always say we get by on our pensions and savings without giving any specifics. The hard part is what we disclose to our kids. They know we must be doing well, we just spent a week skiing in Colorado with them and did a month this summer in Costa Rica with the family, though they dont know just how well. It is a tough balancing act to not take a way their drive to become financially independent, and to let them know we will be there for them as a back stop if things go south for them.

 

[sheldon cornped]

BIL and SIL visited us over Thanksgiving. We were discussing trips planned for 2022 and we told them about our 2 river cruises and Mediteranean cruise plus the pre and post trip parts. SIL asked "where do you get all that money?" I said "we get it from the bank".

 

[Retire52]

BIL and SIL visited us over Thanksgiving. We were discussing trips planned for 2022 and we told them about our 2 river cruises and Mediteranean cruise plus the pre and post trip parts. SIL asked "where do you get all that money?" I said "we get it from the bank".

Hah. I'll remember that one

 

[Out of Steam]

So far, we've chosen not to draw more than 4% of retirement savings a year to support our standard of living in the time between retiring and taking Social Security. Since COVID has taken away most of our opportunities to spend money, such as house repairs and travel, we don't look particularly prosperous.

People who know us well realize that I do have a pension, and that we chose to retire fairly young (60/58), but we don't discuss our retirement funds.

Several good friends who worked with my wife spent generous retirement accounts from that employer while they were still working. My wife did not, and the account now provides us with significant income. A couple of them are now struggling, and mention of that account could get very uncomfortable.

 

[GrayHare]

I'm a shorts and t shirt guy w*rking in the garage. DW finally told me to go buy some nice shirts..

I can relate. My wife wants to burn my "wardrobe" but homeless chic is what I feel most comfortable wearing.

I must have the homeless look down because if I visit a different bank branch than usual to make a deposit, I'll get ID carded. Once a teller told me, "This is a big check you're depositing! We need to verify." The check was for about $500. Tellers routinely convene when I deposit money to pay taxes. "How can this person possibly have more than $1000 to deposit?!?"

 

[Out of Steam]

BIL and SIL visited us over Thanksgiving. We were discussing trips planned for 2022 and we told them about our 2 river cruises and Mediteranean cruise plus the pre and post trip parts.

My wife was watching river cruise videos on YouTube this afternoon. May be looking for a place to spend her first Social Security payment late in 2022.

 

[Midpack]

The young wife occasionally reminds me that certain shirts and pants are "for gardening only", and not otherwise to be worn in public.

Funny, here too. DW usually forces me to throw out clothes before I've noticed anything wrong with an item. It's a running joke with us, so last time I got a tear in a pair of boxer shorts, as a joke I took them to her and asked her if she could mend them. She was not amused...

 

[NW-Bound]

The young wife occasionally reminds me that certain shirts and pants are "for gardening only", and not otherwise to be worn in public.

My wife wanted me to throw away old clothes, and I told her I needed them for gardening, painting, and car repairing. And when these purposes are served, they became rag.

Then, I forgot what I was wearing, and went to Home Depot or the supermarket!

One time, my niece came visit us, and saw me with a T-shirt with the back full of little holes. They were caused by me laying on my back on top of cinder gravel working on the car. She giggled, and I asked "What's that all about?" She said only a rich guy would be confident and comfortable enough to wear raggy clothes like that.

Another time, my 5-year-old grandniece saw me with a T-shirt with a small hole that I missed. She poked her finger in the hole to see if it was a hole or a spot. I feigned "You poke holes in my shirt". She vehemently denied, "No, I did not. It was already there".

 

[Out of Steam]

I'm a shorts and t shirt guy w*rking in the garage. DW finally told me to go buy some nice shirts..

I can relate. My wife wants to burn my "wardrobe" but homeless chic is what I feel most comfortable wearing.

I'm probably missing something, but from fall into spring, I'm mostly wearing the same clothes I wore before retiring. While they are on the casual side of business casual, I may be overdressed for a retiree.

I did wear shorts and polo shirts through the summer this year.