Emergency call for elder parent

[Cpadave]

Hi, does anyone know a good service in case there is a need to call for help at home. This is for my mother who is 83 yrs old and leaves by herself in an apartment building. She lives on social security and ssi benefit. She knows a little English. Thank you.

 

[wolf]

Not sure of your question. She should call you or 911. Or a friendly neighbor.
Also, there are many versions of the "first alert" "button" you wear on your neck.
Will automatically request help if you fall and cannot push the button.

 

[Cpadave]

Sorry, i was not clear. I meant the first alert option. There are so many of them out there. Any recommended? Are there any discount aarp or in her case low income? thanks

 

[retired1]

Hi, does anyone know a good service in case there is a need to call for help at home. This is for my mother who is 83 yrs old and leaves by herself in an apartment building. She lives on social security and ssi benefit. She knows a little English. Thank you.

Sorry to hear about your mother. She might be eligible for Assisted Living... check into that by working with social worker from social security office.

 

[wolf]

First alert is well known brand. Walmart also sells a different version. Forget the name.
When my mom was in skilled nursing, a person recommended the Walmart one over
first alert. Note. Unit is sold at Walmart. I forget the Manufacture. It can be found in the
Pharmacy section.

Also, can set up cameras, if internet is available. You can observe your mom using your
smart phone. Also pick up sound.

 

[pb4uski]

Sorry, i was not clear. I meant the first alert option. There are so many of them out there. Any recommended? Are there any discount aarp or in her case low income? thanks

My mother has used LifeLine for many years. She has never called it (but should have once).

She splits her time between 3 different places over the year and used to transport the unit that plugged into the landline between those places.... however, we recently changed her to a LifeLine service that uses the cellular network that will work in any of the 3 places that she spends most of her time so no need to move the equipment anymore... or will even work if she is away from home... only $5/month more but well worth it.

 

[Cat-tirement]

We set up MIL on a MobileHelp system last year. She had a LifeLine setup before that, provided by an assistance program she was on for a while. When that ended and she had to pay for LifeLine herself, it was significantly more expensive. MobileHelp has a variety of options to choose from.

 

[pjm-7]

Does your state division on ageing provide this kind of service at low or no cost?

 

[JoeWras]

Be realistic too. Mom needs to want to use it. We had something for Dad, but he would not wear anything in the shower (the most vulnerable place). And then he forgot he even had the system.

BTW, the system he had was the free one given out by the VA. It was a simple 911 calling system when you press the button.

 

[skipro33]

Just an anecdotal;
My father in law and some of his family were convinced he didn't need an emergency button since he has a cell phone and speed dial. He has Parkinson's as well as vision problems and 87 years old, living on his own in an independent living apartment on the 2nd floor with an elevator. He refuses to use a walker or even a cane, saying he's not that old yet. (WTF is it with old people who insist that they aren't old at 80+ but everyone else that age is?) He has fallen several times, requiring stitches in his head or other medical attention each time.
So he decides to go check his mail, leaves his apartment and takes the elevator. All is well until he re-enters his apartment where he trips as he's closing the door. He laid there over 2 days because he didn't have his cell phone on him. He figured it was just a run to the mail box, what possible need would he have for it. My wife called him several times and finally called the local police for a wellness check. I want to add that he lives over 600 miles away from us, but has a daughter in the same town who puts her work life above caring for her father. (make of that as you will) He survived but only after a few days in the hospital and a few weeks in a rehab convalescent home. The medical team and social services state he can not live by himself, so he's gone to live with a sister in another state who is a registered nurse.

I warned my wife and I actually called and told him myself, when I found out he was refusing the cane and walker, that one day he WILL fall, he will never return to his home when he does fall and that he will be a HUGE burden on his family for his selfishness. His reply was that I was exaggerating and to butt out. It wasn't like he had mental issues, he chose to, refused to age gracefully and now his family are the ones made to suffer, having the tough decisions on what to do with him. Financially he's broke. His brothers bought out his life insurance policy as a loan listing them as the beneficiaries. This might supplement him enough with SS if he lives with family but not at any care facility. Of course my wife is beside herself over her father's condition and I'm pissed that his arrogance and selfishness is now going to cost me both financially and my own independence as we make decisions on his long term care.
If he had just been willing to use a cane or walker, have a dam button on his person, or even carry his phone, but no...
I pass along this story so that others out there with elderly parents or family that they might get saddled with will know the consequences of not absolutely insisting that their loved one wear an emergency call devise. It's not that they might die if they don't, it's that they might survive in a diminished capacity if they don't.

 

[imoldernu]

While I realize this is not what you are looking for, this information about available emergency numbers is important.

https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Emergency_telephone_number


Old cellphones do not need to be activated to make a 911 type call. The thought is to put old charged cell phones in different rooms, to be available in case of a fall. Not to replace the "I've fallen and can't get up" button, but an interim safety factor for any one who might be alone and unable to reach the regular phone.

 

[MBAustin]

My DH is disabled and a few years ago we picked a system from Bay Alarm Medical and have been very happy with both the price and the service. He likes the fact that the "button" is a small wristband, not a big clunky pendant.

 

[HI Bill]

I got the Philips Lifeline for my Mom as First Alert had a terribly confining contract that you can't cancel easily. The Philips unit was very nice, and worked well, with good range (hundreds of feet, even out of the house into the yard, and to the front street), but my mom forgot what it was for, and eventually disconnected it and threw it away because it was costing $500 a month (really, more like $30). If dementia has set it, this won't do any good. Less than 2 months after she threw it away, she fell and fractured her pelvis. Sure would have helped if she'd used it!

 

[JoeWras]

but my mom forgot what it was for, and eventually disconnected it and threw it away because it was costing $500 a month (really, more like $30). If dementia has set it, this won't do any good.

Our exact experience.

 

[rbmrtn]

My experience also was they would forget to use it or what it was for or wouldn't wear the pendant.

 

[Walt34]

Just an anecdotal;
My father in law and some of his family were convinced he didn't need an emergency button since he has a cell phone and speed dial.

We had a similar experience with FIL, he wanted to stay in his house even though he acknowledged that he couldn't stay there without DW's help. That stubbornness/refusal to face reality turned looking after him into nearly a full time job for DW for a couple of years. He ended up in full nursing care after a diabetic episode (that would have been easily prevented by any semi-competent assisted living place) did organ and muscle damage that made him bedridden.

Fortunately he did have the resources to pay the tab after selling the house so he wasn't a financial burden too, but it was a huge time sink.

 

[swguy]

My mom is 96 and blind. She lives with my DS, has an agile mind for her age, and she gets around pretty well. She's rarely left alone, but in case my sis has to leave mom has one of these:

http://www.lg.com/us/cell-phones/lg-VC200-Red-gizmo-gadget

Its marketed for kids, but she has no trouble using it and will test it out a few times any time shes wearing it. Its worth a look.

 

[Souschef]

t. (WTF is it with old people who insist that they aren't old at 80+ but everyone else that age is?)

I am sorry for your situation. I resent your remark about 80 year olds. There is a spectrum of people that age, from complete invalids to ones that could run you ragged.
I am almost 80 years old, who just spent 3 hours working on a 23 ton switch engine, and will be joining the United Flying Octogenarians in a few months.

 

[PatrickA5]

I bought my dad one of those pendent buttons probably 10 years ago. He would never wear it and finally disconnected the base unit because it kept making a noise (out of batteries). Also, bought him a cell phone, but he "lost" it somehow and wouldn't use one of "those kind of phones". Lately, he has been putting his cordless landline phone in his walker basket. Good thing. Just tonight he called from the kitchen floor. Fell again and this time was having a hard time getting up. So, DW and I drove over and helped him up. I swear the guy must have bones made of rubber as many times as he's fallen over the years and has never broken anything. He refuses in home help and refuses to move somewhere. His doctor told me there is really nothing that we can do to force him anywhere since he's still of sound mind. Basically waiting for fall that puts him in the hospital (as bad as that sounds). But, I think he knows deep down that the time is coming soon to do something.

 

[Sunset]

..... Of course my wife is beside herself over her father's condition and I'm pissed that his arrogance and selfishness is now going to cost me both financially and my own independence as we make decisions on his long term care.
........... It's not that they might die if they don't, it's that they might survive in a diminished capacity if they don't.

I suppose your Wife is not agreeable to putting him in a medicare paid residential setting ??
Is that even possible ?

 

[skipro33]

I suppose your Wife is not agreeable to putting him in a medicare paid residential setting ??
Is that even possible ?

Medicare doesn't cover anything for residential living. There's something like 4 weeks nursing home/rehab care if prescribed by a doctor. then they are kicked to the curb literally.

Everything we've found for full time residential senior care starts at $5,000 a month and goes up from there.

 

[mountainsoft]

Hi, does anyone know a good service in case there is a need to call for help at home.

We bought an Emergency Phone Dialer for my mother-in-law. The one we got is from Radio Shack. I don't think they are sold anymore, but you can still find them on Ebay https://www.ebay.com/p/Radio-Shack-...9-Call-Pendant-Battery-Tested-a-OK/1301844760

It has a base unit that connects to her phone line, and a small heart pendant she wears. When she pushes the pendant, it dials through a series of preset phone numbers (family members) until someone answers. It plays a prerecorded message so we know she is having an emergency even if she can't speak.

She preferred this type of unit as there is no monthly service fee, and with eight kids there are several options for help when it is needed.

 

[PatrickA5]

We bought an Emergency Phone Dialer for my mother-in-law. The one we got is from Radio Shack. I don't think they are sold anymore, but you can still find them on Ebay https://www.ebay.com/p/Radio-Shack-...9-Call-Pendant-Battery-Tested-a-OK/1301844760

It has a base unit that connects to her phone line, and a small heart pendant she wears. When she pushes the pendant, it dials through a series of preset phone numbers (family members) until someone answers. It plays a prerecorded message so we know she is having an emergency even if she can't speak.

She preferred this type of unit as there is no monthly service fee, and with eight kids there are several options for help when it is needed.

That's pretty much what I got for my dad. It ran through 3 numbers of family members and then 911. No monthly service fee. We tested it several times and worked great. It was basically a cell phone on a pendent. But, there was nothing about it that forced it's way around my dads neck, therefore making it useless.

 

[lhamo]

My mom had a pendant from Consumer Cellular while she was still living on her own -- I think the service was about $30/month. They also provided a very no-frills old style flip cell phone (that she never really used) on the same contract. When she moved into assisted living they had their own in-house pendant and call button system, so we cancelled the other one -- there was no hassle in doing so, and I believe they gave her a pro-rated refund. They did not require return of the devices.

My mom was very compliant about wearing and using the pendant. The response was quick when she fell while taking the garbage out and broke her clavicle. That fall was what led her to decide to move into assisted living.

 

[PatrickA5]

As I mentioned above, I never could get my dad to wear his. Well, we just spent the day at the hospital. The night before he fell and was on the floor for 12 hours. We got worried when he didn't check in with us in the morning and went over there to find him. My plan of having him keep his phone next to him didn't work as the phone was 3 feet away and he couldn't reach it. Getting ready to head to the hospital to see what the prognosis is. At 97, at best, his days of living alone at home are done.