Final arrangements

[Dash man]

Well, this has been a busy week for us. We met with an estate planning attorney we really liked and are totally redoing our trust. Since we were in the groove, we started looking into cemeteries to buy a couple of plots and begin to make all the final arrangements including coffin and headstone. We chose a Catholic cemetery near where some of DW's family is buried. We feel good after seeing the prices that we're taken this burden off of the kids. We still have to find a funeral home, but are waiting until after we finalize the cemetery arrangements so we can avoid their sales pitches on caskets and headstones.
I'm curious how many on this forum have already made arrangements and have a morbid curiosity on whether a casket burial or a cremation was selected. What are your plans?
Did you choose anything unique for your headstone?

 

[Gumby]

I have not contacted the appropriate people yet, but my plan is cremation with inurnment at the columbarium on the grounds of the US Naval Academy.

 

[Nemo2]

As I believe I mentioned some time ago, I've instructed DW to double bag me and put me out with the recycling.

(In all seriousness.....I'll be dead, and I really don't care what happens to the carcass.)

 

[aja8888]

DW: body to Univ. of Texas, then cremation. Give ashes to her daughter from a previous marriage.

Me: Cremation, No specific plans made for the remains.

 

[omni550]

Something else you might consider...donating your brain

About a month ago, I heard an interesting presentation on Univ. of Miami's Brain Endowment Bank.

National Institutes of Health has 6 Brain Bank sites around the country (Harvard, U of Maryland, U of Pittsburgh, U of Miami and a couple other sites). https://neurobiobank.nih.gov/about/

They are interested in studying healthy and diseased brains. They use the tissue to support medical and scientific researchers, who study the human brain in search of better medications and treatments, and ultimately a cure for brain diseases and disorders.

I'm simply posting for anyone who thinks they or someone they know might be a candidate. Registration can be done now. Timing is critical as the brain needs to be removed within 24 hours of death. These brain banks work with [relatively] local-to-you pathologists to coordinate the extraction.

omni

 

[athena53]

Thanks, Omni- I wouldn't mind registering for that. My driver's license already shows me to be an organ donor. I don't want to be sent to the crematory with perfectly good equipment intact.


DH died last year, 6 months after a diagnosis of acute myeloid leukemia, so we had plenty of time to plan. It was blessedly easy (and inexpensive) to go to the local funeral home beforehand, pay up front for cremation, and then hand the funeral home card to the hospice social worker when his time came. So far bits of his ashes have been dropped into the lake behind our house, the Panama Canal, from a ship off the coast of Costa Rica and, just yesterday, in the harbor in Reykjavik, the place we last visited and one of our best trips. (I deposit them in a tissue wrapped with string- all biodegradable.)


My plan is to continue to bring some of DH's ashes in my future travels. When my time comes, which I hope is a few decades from now, what's left of his will be mingled with mine. I haven't really thought about where I want them to go- it will be up to DS.


Interestingly, in Iceland in-ground burial is required although you can inter cremains. I just learned this from the "Haunted Reykjavik" walk the night before last.


I'm sold on the practicality of cremation. Before DH died, he and I talked about my providing some (finite) financial help to his son by a previous marriage and to his brother, even though the will left everything to me. I wanted to give them something. We agreed on amounts that probably represent what I saved in NOT having an in-ground burial with a fancy casket for DH.

 

[Amethyst]

We are organ donors, but if our organs are too far gone to help anyone, we have specified cremation. We each want a tree planted in our memory.

I realize the funeral ceremony is actually for the living. In our case, the Living will be well provided for in other ways, unless all our earthly wealth goes to nursing homes. I think the Living will be perfectly satisfied with this.

 

[Dash man]

I have not contacted the appropriate people yet, but my plan is cremation with inurnment at the columbarium on the grounds of the US Naval Academy.

We considered a local National Cemetery at Washington's Crossing here in Pennsylvania. When DW found out if she was buried first there would not be a headstone until I was buried, since I'm the veteran, she wasn't keen on the idea. Nor did she like that they put the spouses name on the back of the headstone and the veteran's name, rank, service, etc. on the front. We didn't look into the columbarium since cremation is not our choice.

 

[braumeister]

Direct cremation, scatter the ashes, done.
Same as my parents.

 

[Ticker]

DW: body to Univ. of Texas, then cremation. Give ashes to her daughter from a previous marriage.

Me: Cremation, No specific plans made for the remains.

DW & I have both donated our bodies to science, just as my father did. They took him away, and 3 months later returned his ashes to us. it's a much simpler act than having to go through the funeral home formalities. we dispersed his ashes on his favorite hunting/fishing spot.

 

[Music Lover]

Cremation, scatter or dispose of the ashes, I don't care. I don't want a traditional burial because I don't think people should take up land space after they die.

 

[Silver]

I have the ashes of several much loved pets. Each are currently separate in little pouches or boxes. I want my ashes mixed all together with them one last time. Then I don't care what happens to the ashes.

 

[Amethyst]

Would you be averse to sharing which scientific organization accepted your donation? I think this is a wonderful way to be of service one last time, especially if one's organs are no longer donate-able due to age, illness, etc.

DW & I have both donated our bodies to science, just as my father did. They took him away, and 3 months later returned his ashes to us. it's a much simpler act than having to go through the funeral home formalities. we dispersed his ashes on his favorite hunting/fishing spot.

 

[T-Minus]

My plans are very specific. Cremation and scattering of my ashes by my favorite mountain lake. I was very clear to specify the place, but not the timing, so as not to place undue pressure on my family. My son and family have never been there (it's not convenient), and it's a way to share the unimaginable beauty of the place with them...after I've gone.

 

[pacergal]

Organ donation, cremation, scattering at my favorite place.
My folks pre paid for their cremation. It was so easy to contact the company and they took care of everything, called us to either mail or pick up the remains.
DH and I have not decided if we want to go the pre pay route or not.
I have seen natural burial companies starting to advertise more and that may be a route for me also.

 

[MBAustin]

Cremation for us also. Current plan for me is ½ of ashes at the memorial garden at our church and the rest scattered at the lake where our family has a summer house.

 

[Dancer373]

Prepaid cremation and disposal. DH passed away 3 years ago and the process was so easy for all.

 

[brett]

We just finished updating/re-writing our wills, POA's and Personal Directives. Did it ten years ago. Time has flown by.

We will do cremation. Cardboard box, no fancy casket or casket rental, viewing. Scatter the ashes.

My parents made these same arrangements. This, along with up do date wills etc. were their final gift to us and we very much appreciated it. They had pre-arranged the cremation and had specific instructions. Just the basis. Not a case of affordability but one of preference. The only thing we had to do was select the style of acknowledgement card. We will do the same.

 

[friar1610]

I have not contacted the appropriate people yet, but my plan is cremation with inurnment at the columbarium on the grounds of the US Naval Academy.

Similar plans, not yet finalized. Burial at the Massachusetts National Cemetery on Cape Cod. (We've always wanted a place on the Cape.) Haven't decided yet on burial (free plot and gravestones) or cremation in which case it would be inurnment in a columbarium. We visited a couple of Christmases ago to volunteer at the Wreaths Across America event. I wasn't wild about the columbariums but the thought of saving the price of caskets is appealing. Don't suppose it will matter much but I've always liked single family homes on my own lot better than apartment living.

 

[Nemo2]

I've always liked single family homes on my own lot better than apartment living.

 

[Choices]

For us it is to be cremation and internment in the columbarium of whatever Episcopal church we are members of at the time. No columbarium? A rose garden will do or just slip me into a plant at our local garden store.
My daughter has talked of having me compacted into a diamond or other jewel and then mounted into an earring. Pretty cool.

 

[Nightcap]

I hope I have a chance to say goodbye, and meet my end with some modicum of dignity. Once I’m dead, however, I want no casket, wake, or funeral. I’m an organ donor. Cremate the rest and toss the ashes in the Atlantic. If my survivors want to turn over a glass or sing a song, that’s for them to decide.

 

[ExitLeft]

I like the idea of donation, but I want them to be sure I'm dead first! If I don't go that route, then a natural burial, skipping the embalming, as I heard it is a waste of money. If a natural burial requires a plot, then probably just cremation.

 

[braumeister]

I'm an organ donor, but I'm curious about the business of leaving your body to a medical school or whatever. I've heard that after you get to a certain age they are no longer interested, even for harvesting organs.

Does anyone know?

 

[Nemo2]

I'm an organ donor, but I'm curious about the business of leaving your body to a medical school or whatever. I've heard that after you get to a certain age they are no longer interested, even for harvesting organs.

Does anyone know?

Here's one:

https://medicine.dal.ca/departments...neuroscience/about/donation-program/faqs.html

Does the program have an age limit?
Although there is no maximum age limit, we will not accept donations from people under the age of nineteen.