It's funny joke Thursday! - 2021
- Thread starter Gumby
- Start date
- Status
RetireBy90
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Not sure what this is all about but sure sounds like a good idea
Dtail
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Another old one.
Loved the smell of the cap guns.
ls99
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- May 2, 2008
- Messages
- 6,513
Yeahbut it was only 100 mile per hour tape.
Oilcan
Recycles dryer sheets
My town is so dull that the post office has "Wanted" posters of people who have overdue library books.
ArmchairMillionaire
Recycles dryer sheets
The Amazon reviews for the 5# bags of sugar free gummy bears were hilarious.
It looks like most of them have been taken down though.
Car-Guy
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
It's just a joke, but pretty gross IMO.... Don't read this one to close to lunch or dinner time...An old old-timer is sitting at the far right side of a lunch counter in a local mom and pop diner. He's leaning over on his elbows with a hot and steaming bowl of meaty chili in front of him . . . just staring at it.
A young man comes walking in and grabs a seat to his left and started to look at the menu. He notices the old-timer isn't paying a lot of attention to his chili, so he says,
"Hey old-timer . . . if you don't want that chili, I'll take it off your hands."
The old-timer considers for a second, then pushes the bowl towards the young guy. He hooks it with a finger, drags the steaming bowl over and starts to go at it with a big spoon. Digging towards the bottom, he finds a dead mouse lying on the bottom of the bowl and INSTANTLY throws up all the chili in and near the bowl, retching his guts out.
The old timer says,
"Yup . . . that's just about as far as I got too."
harley
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
This one belongs in the "Can I age in place with stairs" thread.
Perforated
Remember the perforated ones that had a hole between each cap and was used in pistols?
Remember the perforated ones that had a hole between each cap and was used in pistols?
travelover
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2007
- Messages
- 14,328
Anyone else use to just smack the whole roll with a big hammer to get the maximum bang?
Dtail
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Out-to-Lunch
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Car-Guy
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.
When the waiter brought our water and cutlery, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?" "Well, "he explained, "the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped piece of cutlery. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our staff are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now." I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s zip on his trousers. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the rest-room. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the rest-room by 76.39 per cent."
I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well," he whispered, "I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon."
harley
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
My Pyro buddies and I used to open each cap individually and collect the tiny bit of powder in them. A few rolls worth would make an excellent flash/bang.
A couple of times (when feeling flush) I'd use two bricks and hit a whole box, which was five rolls. POW! That one hurt my ears and set 'em ringing!
Oilcan
Recycles dryer sheets
I remember when I was a kid I could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips 2 candy bars 6 packs of starburst and a cold drink.
Nowadays they got cameras everywhere.
Nowadays they got cameras everywhere.
Car-Guy
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
A few one linersI'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
Apparently responding to a wedding invitation with "Maybe next
time," isn't really proper.
Don't ever irritate old people. The older they get, the less life in
prison is a deterrent.
When a man asked his wife if he was the only one she had ever
been with she replied, "Yes. All the others were nines and tens."
Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think,
"That can't be accurate."
I was a grade school entrepreneur with caps. I'd take a small piece of thin paper, lay a cap in the center, put a BB on top and pull the paper up around it and twist it. You could throw it down on a hard surface and pop the cap. I made them and sold them for a while.
- Status
Similar threads
