Cheap is small, and not too steep
But best of all, cheap is cheap
Circumstance has forced my hand
To be a cut price person in a low budget land
Times are hard, but we'll all survive
I just got to learn to economize
Excuse my shoes, they don’t quite fit
They’re a special offer, and they hurt me a bit
Even my trousers are giving me pain
They were reduced in a sale, so I shouldn't complain
They squeeze me so tight, so I can’t take no more
They're size 28, but I take 34
I’m shopping at Woolworth and low discount stores
I’m dropping my standards so that I can buy more
Quality costs, but quality wastes,
So I’m giving up all of my expensive tastes.
Caviar and champagne are definite nos,
I’m acquiring a taste for brown ale and cod roes
Low budget, sure keeps me on my toes
I count every penny, and I watch where it goes
We’re all on our uppers, we’re all going skint
I used to smoke cigars but now I suck polo mints
Art takes time, time is money
Money’s scarce and that ain’t funny
Millionaires are things of the past
We’re in a low budget film where nothing can last
Money’s rare, there’s none to be found
So don’t think I’m tight if I don’t buy a round
I look like a tramp, but don’t write me off,
I’ll have you all know, I was once a tough
At least my hair is all mine, my teeth are my own,
But everything else is on permanent loan.
Once all my clothes were made by hand
Now I’m a cut price person in a low budget land