Looking for that elusive PURPOSE in retirement

[zl55lz]

I am fairly satisfied with my retirement with -

- Regular Exercise - mostly walk daily
- Money will outlive us, at least on paper
- Lovely family, 3 wonderful grandchildren
- Volunteer at 2 places- Free Clinic & County Garden Extension (& till recently at Meals on Wheels, DW still does)
- Socially fairly involved with friends & at place of worship

But I do not have (still searching) any major purpose in my life, which I keep reading about, like people Retire to a special purpose in their lives.

My retirement is the garden variety, no major purpose just do my above regular activities.

Do you have a Purpose in your retired life ?

or is that talk about purpose just unreal & some Hot Air .

Nothing wrong with seeking more purpose in one's life--some have discovered their talent later in life, but many might agree it is usually directed toward others than toward oneself, and I think it was one of the saints who said something to the effect that they did not seek to do great things, but small things with great love.

 

[DrRoy]

My purposes include travel, landscape photography, reading, and listening to music with a glass of my favorite red. For example, we have been to 47 of the 63 national parks (so far).
.
The Wave, Arizona
Seljalandsfoss, Iceland
Grand Teton NP
Great Sand Dunes NP
Torres del Paine, Chile
Glacier NP

 

[street]

My goal/purpose each day is to enjoy it fully, be thankful for all I have in my life. Same now as it was while working.

This is my feeling in life also not just retirement. Enjoy each day no matter what you do or not do.

I don't believe we need a specific purpose in life, but each are different in how we feel about purpose. I believe goals are completely different than purpose.

I read it here descripted as "a hammer has a purpose". Being a hammer would be very boring to me because it has one purpose.

 

[Badger]

As a freshman in college I had no idea of a purpose until it found me and I became a biologist but wasn't sure what to do with it. I had a few paths I could follow that would have pleased me. After grad school it found me and made me whole. It seemed like the choices in my life always found me and were always just the right thing. Eleven years ago when I retired I was back to square one. Now my focus is to try new experiences that I am still capable of doing. Anything creative that appeals to me is fair game. In between any new activities is still bicycling, short hikes in the woods or on the beach, simple woodworking projects, taking care of our 4 cats, vegetable gardening, and doing the maintenance of our home and yard.

Cheers!

 

[target2019]

It might be a mistake for some to retire, and carry over language and behavior from the work culture.

I didn't experience corp culture until my fifties. I embraced very little of that, so I don't have excellence and goal-orienting in mind.

Since I always analyzed too much, it's been great to let go of some of that, and do what makes me feel best each day.

 

[punkinhead]

My job was never my primary source of purpose. I've always gotten satisfaction from learning new skills and becoming proficient with them. I can do that with hobbies just as well as when I was working as an engineer. Woodworking, machining, 3D printing, hiking, fishing, kayaking, riding a motorcycle, flying, cooking, baking... The list is endless. I recently started learning to sew to make cushion covers for our RV. I had a very satisfying job (robotics and machine vision) but I don't miss it at all - there are too many other things to learn.

 

[Music Lover]

When I retired, I was DONE working.

It was the same for me. I was already living my life how I wanted (more or less), and retirement just removed the irritation and time suck of working.

 

[sengsational]

The happiness research (Gilbert, et al) indicates that this "purpose" thong is kind of a western thing, not universal. There is research indicating having something bigger than yourself is helpful. Certainly the more you can realize something that generates a sense of awe, that helps (beyond your self). To start reading the stoics might be a good plan. Or, for a free kickstart, you could download the Waking Up application and listen to the series by William B. Irvine (under the "Life" section) called "The Stoic Path". You might find his books at the library too. He's a great way to dip your toes into the ideas of the ancient Stoics.

 

[Gumby]

I was fortunate that I experienced having my work = my identity at an early age and then got over it. When I started out, I was a Navy nuclear submarine officer, then I left the Navy and became an engineer at a commercial nuclear power plant. Both of those workplaces were like a small priesthood set apart from the world, the keepers of arcane knowledge and practitioners of unknown rituals. It is the type of work that is almost impossible to get into unless you are willing to go "all in". So, in my 20s, my work gave me my purpose and sense of self.

In my 30s, I went to law school and then practiced for 27 years. Practicing law was mentally challenging and interesting (at least to me). I was good at it, and it paid well. But I never felt that "lawyer" was my identity or my purpose in life. It was just what I did to get the money that one day would allow me to retire. I didn't participate in most law related activities (like the bar association) and didn't socialize with other lawyers. In fact, most of the people I knew outside of work, like my neighbors or my fellow church members, had no idea what I did for a living.

So, when retirement finally arrived, it was easy to let go of the job and not feel that I had lost my purpose, because I had already dealt with those feelings 30 years earlier. I am quite happy now just being alive and deciding every day what I would most like to spend my time on that day.

 

[lawman]

I don't think one can do 42 years of police work without it being a part of one's identity. I never had a real job. I got tired at one point and thought I wanted to stop. I was wrong. I would have done it for free. My advice to those who ask is don't be like me.

 

[Souschef]

Unlike Gumby, I spent 50 years in one career in aerospace. After my wife passed away. I continued to w*rk just to fill the day.
Well, life is funny, because I met a widow on a grief recovery website, who shared my love of travel
A lot of my life has been the freedom to pursue new things that I come across. I feel that you can never stop learning.
I read a book in which the author wrote about Angel Flight West, pilots volunteering to fly patients to distant appointments. I joined and flew 110 missions with them
A neighbor was looking for a volunteer at a hospice to repair their medical equipment, so being mechanically inclined, I worked with him.


I volunteered with a railroad society, helping on tourist trains. When the society acquired a 1941 switch engine, I spent 2 years getting it running. It was a great learning experience.
Unfortunately, I injured my back and had to step away from those activities., but I was glad I did them.
Who knows what new thing I will find around the next bend?

 

[novaman]

I am fairly satisfied with my retirement with -

- Regular Exercise - mostly walk daily
- Money will outlive us, at least on paper
- Lovely family, 3 wonderful grandchildren
- Volunteer at 2 places- Free Clinic & County Garden Extension (& till recently at Meals on Wheels, DW still does)
- Socially fairly involved with friends & at place of worship

But I do not have (still searching) any major purpose in my life, which I keep reading about, like people Retire to a special purpose in their lives.

My retirement is the garden variety, no major purpose just do my above regular activities.

Do you have a Purpose in your retired life ?

or is that talk about purpose just unreal & some Hot Air .

Rkser- Your list sounds almost exactly like mine, except that in addition to all you listed I now am also helping a friend in his dental practice 1 day a week so he can work less.

For me, it’s all about living out my faith. My purpose has been to love the world around me and make a positive difference in the lives of the people I meet.

I’ve mentored a few people,and just try to pass on some love and positivity, wisdom and advice when the occasion arises to those around me.

Just the other day I received an unexpected text from a dentist I crossed paths with a few years back who I helped guide into practice ownership. She has now owned her practice for a year and things are going well for her. She just wanted to thank me for all I did and expressed her appreciation.

That’s what it’s all about.

 

[rkser]

Novaman, I too am/was in the medical field, had a Solo Practice of Internal Medicine & Cardiology for 22 years before I retired. I volunteer at a Free Clinic for the Indigent at present. Yes it was stressful/fun/competitive all at the same time of the long training in Internal Medicine & then the Cardiology Fellowship.
I find myself searching for some meaningful purpose to get out of the house more often in Retirement & is my reason to post to get feedback on the forum.
Gainful employment for me will be stressful, but if I cannot find any meaningful activity then I may have to look in that direction .

I thank everyone for their informative & very helpful posts.

 

[Dd852]

A lot of good advice here; I’d suggest, though, that OP ask yourself why you’re asking the question. If it’s really just because we’re all “supposed” to have some purpose, then listen to everyone here who is saying - you’ve got it pretty good already! You’re helping yourself and others: enough. But if you are asking because deep inside yourself you truly feel something is lacking, then you can’t just wish that feeling away. Take the time to explore it and try to define it. Maybe it means you’re itching to learn a new skill. Maybe it means you truly want to help more than your current volunteer activities allow. Maybe - and this is heresy on this board! - you truly don’t feel whole unless you have some kind of paycheck coming in. We’re all put together differently; we all have different needs. You’ve got to figure out for yourself what’s itching - and then find a way to scratch that without taking too much time away from the things you are truly enjoying about your retired life.

In my case, I still take on a couple of small consulting projects every year. I need to feel listened to (and lord knows I don’t get that at home!!!). I need to feel appreciated. I like knowing that someone values my time enough to pay for it still. But all that is me - no one else is exactly like that.

Define your own needs and wants … and go get them

 

[Dash man]

This sums up my purpose:

POPE FRANCIS
“Without these questions, we only crush our life, thinking that we should enjoy it as much as possible and we end up living for the day, without a purpose, without a goal. Our homeland, on the other hand, is in heaven; let us not forget the greatness and beauty of that goal!”

 

[11522914]

My only purpose in retirement is to enjoy my freedom and my time to do what I want. Sounds like you have achieved that. All the rest is just hot air.

+100

 

[Calico]

My only purpose in retirement is to enjoy my freedom and my time to do what I want. Sounds like you have achieved that. All the rest is just hot air.

+100

+200

 

[COcheesehead]

I got a hobby job working at a winery - which I really enjoy. Shortly after taking the position a long time friend asked me why I am not volunteering at an organization that could use all my years of experience, starting and running a business. I felt a little guilty for a few days and upon returning to the winery, I shared the experience with a co worker. Her response was classic. She said you worked your whole life, you deserve some fun. That was three and a half years ago and I am still having fun.
I wonder if people who didn’t fulfill themselves earlier, feel the need to do it later. I certainly don’t.

 

[MC Rider]

I don't want a pickle.
Just wanna ride my motor sickle.

 

[Major Tom]

Some thought-provoking posts here. I agree with those who have said that a purpose or big, overarching mission is not necessary for satisfaction in retirement. From time to time, I get a bit bored, and wistfully pine for the days when I was young, and life was simple and exciting. Everything was new, and I was going at 100 miles per hour. Lots of fun! Yesterday was such a day, when I didn't have quite enough to do, and was feeling less than stellar about my life. Then, today, I went out in the front yard to do some sweeping and general clearing up. I like being in the front, because I open the doors of my campervan and play the radio while I'm working. I also get to greet all the neighborhood doggies and their owners as they walk past, and chat with my neighbors. I had a really nice, long talk with one of my housemates (I live in a housing co-operative) who I haven't had a proper conversation with in a while. Afterwards, I showered, changed clothes, walked to the local coffeeshop, and sat with a coffee, bagel, and a book for an hour, before strolling back home. It was a most agreeable day, and was a very welcome reset after feeling rather at a loss the day before.

As hugely introverted as I am, the one thing that puts me back in touch with myself and restores my faith in the world, is connection with other people. I'd like to be able to say that I could happily exist in a cabin in the woods for a month on my own, but it's not true. I absolutely love my own company, but too much time on my own, and things begin to gradually head south. I do enjoy the company of my fellow humans.

 

[Cortina]

I don't want a pickle.
Just wanna ride my motor sickle.

This would be my theory too ... and working on them as necessary !! (tinkering / servicing / cleaning) .... but mostly riding !

 

[Koolau]

I am fairly satisfied with my retirement with -

- Regular Exercise - mostly walk daily
- Money will outlive us, at least on paper
- Lovely family, 3 wonderful grandchildren
- Volunteer at 2 places- Free Clinic & County Garden Extension (& till recently at Meals on Wheels, DW still does)
- Socially fairly involved with friends & at place of worship

But I do not have (still searching) any major purpose in my life, which I keep reading about, like people Retire to a special purpose in their lives.

My retirement is the garden variety, no major purpose just do my above regular activities.

Do you have a Purpose in your retired life ?

or is that talk about purpose just unreal & some Hot Air .

This concept of "purpose" is such an individual concept. It certainly seems you're involved in the more typical things that most folks would consider to add to "purpose."

You mention attending a place of worship. Perhaps a deeper dive into your spirituality would be a place to consider. Through that personal search, I've found that helping people around the world has given my life much more purpose than accumulation or even (for the most part) "experiences." Over the years I've gotten to know many people who are "boots on the ground" helping folks in abject poverty and hopelessness. Helping these friends by sharing with them has given my life a lot of meaning and purpose. Regular communication with them, seeing the differences they make in people's lives has been very rewarding. It's not for every one, but it w*rks for me. My hope is to continue in this purpose even after I am gone. YMMV

 

[AlmostThere35]

Purpose in life in general is subjective. You can find meaning and purpose in all kinds of things: beliefs, helping others (especially if they appreciate it), etc. Meaning is an abstract concept in your head, but that just makes finding it all the more impressive (to me anyway).

 

[GaryInCO]

I am fairly satisfied with my retirement with -

- Regular Exercise - mostly walk daily
- Money will outlive us, at least on paper
- Lovely family, 3 wonderful grandchildren
- Volunteer at 2 places- Free Clinic & County Garden Extension (& till recently at Meals on Wheels, DW still does)
- Socially fairly involved with friends & at place of worship

That sounds pretty good to me. My wife dumped me 12 years ago so I've been partner-less and lonely for too long. No grandkids yet but I do have good connections with my late-20's sons, who live a few miles away. I lost most of my old social circle after 20 years married to an antisocial introvert, so I started building a new social group after I recovered from the divorce. Then cancer and Covid meant I had to isolate for 2 years, and all those nascent social groups evaporated. So I'm starting over AGAIN.

So I guess I'm saying you have it pretty good, and you don't have to look for reasons why you're "failing" at retirement. If you're happy, if you're fulfilled, that's all you need to do.

 

[dandan14]

I suggest a local service org (Rotary, Kiwanis, etc). They typically bring in a speaker once a week from a local nonprofit. I’ve found that being exposed to a large number of local nonprofits has been a great way to explore how I can help and get involved.