Looking for that elusive PURPOSE in retirement

[kingkarmann]

Sometimes purpose comes for you instead of going out looking for it.
My purpose was to be a co-caregiver to our live in MIL who passed July 2022.
I rotated into traveling to the retirement mecca known as Florida to assist dad with his rapid decline as he cannot care for his wife who has dementia.
I'm looking forward to a new sense of purpose soon.
God has a strange sense of humor

 

[Echard]

This thread is some of the best therapy there is. Thank you all.

 

[guitarguy]

Maybe you could try thinking back to when you were in junior high or high school, wasn't there some dream you had or something you wanted to do but you might have realized it was unrealistic at the time? For me, I gave up a career in music in my early twenties for a more stable life. Don't regret it one bit. But when I retired 8 years ago, I joined two bands. It wasn't easy at first, but as I eased into it it became an important part of my life It keeps me busy, it keeps me engaged, and I'm still having a blast. Perhaps most important, The camaraderie of the band, the happiness we bring to the audience, and the sheer joy of making music is clearly my purpose at this stage in my life. YMMV. But don't let fear hold you back... Chase your dreams. If not now, when?
Best of luck!

 

[bigriver]

I found myself in the same boat and reached out to people on social media looking for small engine repair. I don’t make money at it but it’s challenging and I feel rewarding. I help a lot of single parents. I pick up and deliver and don’t charge for single parents based on where they live.
Theirs is a new group I found out about that helps guide and talk to youths about what it takes to run a business or develop a product. I’m looking into it.

 

[Navigator]

I know a lot of people dismiss the idea of having a purpose in life after retirement, but the research is crystal clear: people who have a purpose in life live longer and are happier than those who don’t. When I retired, I started to look for meaningful things to do. I suppose I thought it had to be something grandiose like solving global warming, but I find I find purpose in writing and creating works of art. Somewhere I read that one’s purpose comes from the overlap of three things: 1) what is important to you; 2) what you are interested in; and 3) what you are good at doing. This definition has worked well for me.

 

[MC Rider]

.............. Somewhere I read that one’s purpose comes from the overlap of three things: 1) what is important to you; 2) what you are interested in; and 3) what you are good at doing. This definition has worked well for me.

Motorcycles, motorcycles, motorcycles. I like your definition.

 

[old medic]

Do you have a Purpose in your retired life ?

Too enjoy each day to the best I can... at least untill the DW retires.. Then we will have to share....

 

[Music Lover]

I know a lot of people dismiss the idea of having a purpose in life after retirement, but the research is crystal clear: people who have a purpose in life live longer and are happier than those who don’t. When I retired, I started to look for meaningful things to do. I suppose I thought it had to be something grandiose like solving global warming, but I find I find purpose in writing and creating works of art. Somewhere I read that one’s purpose comes from the overlap of three things: 1) what is important to you; 2) what you are interested in; and 3) what you are good at doing. This definition has worked well for me.

In my case I find the idea of a purpose in life to be overrated, but if that's what someone wants then good for them.

I do find it odd that some people wait until retirement to find that purpose or do something meaningful. All retirement did for me was remove the annoyance of working which gave me more time to do the things that I already enjoyed. I didn't wait for retirement to start a hobby or follow a passion.

 

[mickeyd]

I have no purpose in retirement, yet I am fulfilled. What's wrong with me?

 

[shafer9]

I could not agree more

 

[O2Bfree]

I have no purpose in retirement, yet I am fulfilled. What's wrong with me?

Time for you to leave, grasshopper.

 

[indiajust]

I just watched the Leonard Cohen Netflix documentary, structured around the strange history of his song hallelujah.

He found purpose when his friend and advisor stole all his retirement funds... he had unwisely signed away his rights of his own volition in complete trust. Not an RE move.

He was forced to tour and had extraordinary productive output, almost to his last breath.

Another approach: Fester and suffer, explore, until the answer finds you. Don't avoid it, stare it down. Go find what's eating at you, while you still can.

 

[RetiredAt49]

I personally struggle with this thread/topic because I personally don’t understand why anyone would need a grand purpose in retirement. Is attending meetings, performing 1:1’s, having to listen to executives pontificate about themselves or their priorities, etc. not enough reasons to retire happily?

To the OP: What purpose did you have prior to retirement and has that purpose been achieved?

 

[Koolau]

I personally struggle with this thread/topic because I personally don’t understand why anyone would need a grand purpose in retirement. Is attending meetings, performing 1:1’s, having to listen to executives pontificate about themselves or their priorities, etc. not enough reasons to retire happily?

To the OP: What purpose did you have prior to retirement and has that purpose been achieved?

We're all different. I've told about my dad wanting a J*b (even after fully retiring at 65) for the remainder of his life. THAT was his purpose in life - to be gainfully employed. I never thought of a j*b as much more than a means to an end - to have the money to do what I wanted during my retirement AND to fulfill my purpose which I've come to believe is to help those less fortunate than I am - especially in other countries.

I suppose if anyone says they lack any specific purpose in retirement, at least they have as a purpose to thrive and survive in retirement. YMMV

 

[OHjosh]

Grand Purpose in Retirement

After my mom died, I felt pretty much at sea for two years. I did the type of activities the OP listed-- perhaps compulsively. They did not fulfill me.

I was walking the track of my gym when I had what I can only say was a vision of two people talking to a high school class. I knew (how?) it was a scene of a play. I never wrote one in my life. Three years later, I am now searching for the theme of play #24. I have a mentor, read books and take classes on playwriting and acting. I've met and worked with at least twenty wonderful people I would never have met any other way. I've won a few (minor) play competitions.

Come September, one of my plays will have a staged reading in a local theater!

Long and short of this story, when I stopped staying busy; stopped thinking what I should be doing, the Inspiration came to me. It can be very surprising and in my case, life changing!

 

[indiajust]

Reading the last few statements may have given some clarity. You don't have have a retirement problem, you have a life problem. You're not done yet!

You've solved pressing concerns and are done staying busy. Go forth and be human, retirement status is irrelevant to the itch you feel.

 

[Koolau]

Reading the last few statements may have given some clarity. You don't have have a retirement problem, you have a life problem. You're not done yet!

You've solved pressing concerns and are done staying busy. Go forth and be human, retirement status is irrelevant to the itch you feel.

I think you're probably right. Once retired, you just have more time to dwell on the other human issues (such as purpose) which were always there but got partially drowned out by w*rking all the time.

 

[last_to_go]

+1

Ecclesiastes:
[13] Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. [14] For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

Biblically, "fear" relates to respect. One cannot respect God without first knowing Him which He commands us to do. The true purpose in life you are seeking can be achieved by improving your knowledge and understanding of Him....grow in grace and in the knowledge of Him. Set aside some time each day to learn more about God and to glorify Him through this knowledge. This alone should provide you with true purpose. Have fun and enjoyment with everything else you do but let the daily intake of doctrine be the guide for your true purpose. My two cents.

 

[Koolau]

The purpose of Kindergarden-12th grade is to do well so you can go to College (or out on your own)

The purpose of College is to get a good job

The purpose of the Job is to feed and take care of your family

The purpose of the job is also to set you up for retirement

It is easy to get so use to having a purpose that we feel it is just the way things are.

The purpose for me now is to have the freedom to do what I want when I want it without having to have a purpose. Sure projects come up that you need a purpose to complete them so you know when you are done.

Purpose drives a plan that needs to be followed, which to me is the opposite of retirement.

Everyone has a different perspective and some need a purpose. You have to ask yourself if you really need a purpose or are just trained over a lifetime of hard work to have one.

Life without a defined purpose isn't a waste. That are a lot of things that enrich your lives and you can do to enrich others lives. For me, I spend a lot of timing with my grandkids. I go offroading with my friends. I lead trail runs on national off road events. I do projects around the house to make it how I want it.

No defined purpose, but a Life rich with rewards earned over a lifetime of hard work with the purpose to get here.

Just one persons perspective

Somehow, this reminded me of the C@reers Anchor workshop that I took mid c@reer. The premise of the course is that there are 8 distinct "drivers" that you can define which are essentially "why" you w*rk. My thought is that those same drivers are likely still at w*rk in the retiree.

For reference, here is a site which briefly describes these "C@reer Anchors."

https://www.careerturn.com/8-career-anchors/

The course itself consisted of taking a self test which elicited enough personal feelings and experiences to characterize each participant's C@reer Anchors. Obviously, no one has only one or two Anchors. Most folks had responses indicating some leaning toward each one of the 8 Anchors. But 2 top Anchors are readily apparent to most people. My 2 Anchors were virtually tied.

When I took the course, my two top anchors were "Technical/Functional Competence" and "Lifestyle." (I don't care for the way "Lifestyle" is described in the site. It was better described when I took the course as pertaining to the ability to maintain the lifestyle you desire. IOW you w*rk for money to be able to live the way you want to live.)

I mention all this because I find at least some carry-over to retired life. I'm still striving to learn about things so that I can be "good" at retirement. Such things include "investment strategy" and "Learning what brings me the most pleasure when spending money." As well, I still attempt to guard and culture my money in order to satisfy the lifestyle that I want.

While not strictly "purpose" I think the anchors are at minimum a means to an end in achieving whatever purpose one decides to pursue.

Megacorp had a lot of these more "touchy feelie" type courses and this was one of my favorites because my results fit me to a T. For the most part, I think they still do but YMMV.

 

[Car-Guy]

Between nap's, doctors visit's, nap's, hobbies, naps, fixing/maintaining stuff around the ranch, naps, keeping up with my investments, naps, travel, naps, watching a few movies on TV and taking a few more naps, I'm not sure where I'd find the time to "work", even part time... Oh, did I mention naps.

 

[Koolau]

Between nap's, doctors visit's, nap's, hobbies, naps, fixing/maintaining stuff around the ranch, naps, keeping up with my investments, naps, travel, naps, watching a few movies on TV and taking a few more naps, I'm not sure where I'd find the time to "work", even part time... Oh, did I mention naps.

Yep! Sounds like it's time for a nap.

 

[ER Eddie]

No one lives without purpose. No one does anything without purpose. There is purpose in every single action you take, from the moment you wake to the time you fall asleep -- and even the time between is purposeful. Living "without purpose" is impossible.

That's just a semantic note, I suppose, because I understand the gist of the question. "Purpose" in this context usually refers to a large, ambitious project of some type -- business-related, artistic, spiritual. Save the whales. Write a great novel. Build a successful business. Etc.

I long ago abandoned that version of "purpose" -- not because I don't believe in the value of purpose (I do) -- but because I am simply not focused or ambitious enough to do it that way. When I was young, I was fired with enthusiasm to accomplish something great in this life. I'm not anymore.

I'm also not focused enough to have a grand, overarching mission. There was a famous book not long ago called The One Thing, which discussed how focusing on one thing is what leads to outstanding results. I've never been able to do that -- not for long, anyhow. I find it too constricting. After a while, I always want to go in a different direction, do something different. As a result, I'm a generalist in a world of specialists; a dabbler in a dozen areas rather than an expert in any one. I'm ok with that.

As I said, I do think purpose is important. That's pretty clear in the literature on happiness and life satisfaction, and it's also clear from my personal experience -- when I lack a sense of purpose (or meaning) in life, I am not in a good place. But I think about purpose as a puzzle with many different pieces, not a single, grand, overarching mission. For instance, I think that my purpose is learning and growth -- intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and psychological. That keeps me busy. I also think my purpose is to help others, especially animals (I'm not as dedicated to this as I'd like). I also think my purpose is just to enjoy my life. I also think my purpose is to take care of myself -- physically, emotionally, etc. I also think my purpose is to be a good person, to act with integrity as best I can, to treat others decently, and so forth.

So I have a lot of different purposes. My "purpose in life" is a cobbled together collection of things I value and consider important.

 

[John Galt III]

I have thought about purpose a lot. I think having a good romantic relationship, or even just hoping and looking for one, is a big part of it.

 

[EastWest Gal]

My goal when I was young was to provide well for myself and my family, do something meaningful for the community, and use my intelligence to do those things-so I became a pediatrician. I did that for 35 years. Goal accomplished.

But my best talent is far and away music. So that’s what I do and love. It’s not a grand purpose. But in the past 20 years of playing music, I have never told myself, “I wish I didn’t have to go to rehearsal tonight.” Whereas, there were many times going to work or arriving to find the crazy workload awaiting me, that I felt like crying and screaming. And sometimes during my commute I would yell and swear in the car.

In the last two years I’ve incorporated two nonprofit music groups. The next goal is to look at obtaining a grant so we can upgrade some of our percussion equipment. I’m also diligently getting back into better shape so I can ski next winter. I can ski at my current weight but I wouldn’t enjoy it much.

I don’t think one needs a grand purpose. Just the next thing.

 

[street]

In my case I find the idea of a purpose in life to be overrated, but if that's what someone wants then good for them.

I do find it odd that some people wait until retirement to find that purpose or do something meaningful. All retirement did for me was remove the annoyance of working which gave me more time to do the things that I already enjoyed. I didn't wait for retirement to start a hobby or follow a passion.

Very well said.
My passions/purpose in life started during my life span also not just when I retired.

I believe that is one of the issues for people when they retire, they had nothing but work in their life. That was their purpose and will remain their purpose which makes in very hard to adjust to life after retiring.