Moving away from friends, but not too far?

[Scuba]

DH and I live in coastal So CA, but we’ve always enjoyed getting away to Palm Springs, about a two hour drive away. We were wondering if we were to move to the desert how likely it would be that we’d lose touch with friends. We could certainly drive back to the beach to see friends, and we’d invite them here to spend time with us too.

Has anyone moved about 2 hours away and if so, what was the impact on friendships? Our friends are really important to us and we’re concerned that over time, relationships could fade away.

 

[COcheesehead]

We moved about 4 hours away from our city friends. We made new friends pretty quickly. Problem solved.

Just kidding.

Our old friends still want to see us and we find that we plan those get togethers more precisely. A weekend here or there. We have more stay a night or two with us. The relationships remain, but the logistics change.

We also made new friends quickly and those relationships seem to fill in the gaps of not having old friends close by.

It all works, but it’s just different.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

We are friends with two different couples who moved an hour and three hours away and we still see them, but not as often as when they lived closer.

 

[W2R]

DH and I live in coastal So CA, but we’ve always enjoyed getting away to Palm Springs, about a two hour drive away. We were wondering if we were to move to the desert how likely it would be that we’d lose touch with friends. We could certainly drive back to the beach to see friends, and we’d invite them here to spend time with us too.

Has anyone moved about 2 hours away and if so, what was the impact on friendships? Our friends are really important to us and we’re concerned that over time, relationships could fade away.

When I moved to New Orleans, I left quite a few friends in Lafayette (about 2 hours from New Orleans).

I found that we drove back and forth and kept our friendships up for about 3 years or so. Then gradually the trips became less frequent. I could have driven there more often, or they could have driven here more often. But it was sort of mutual that we started making these drives less frequently.

Meanwhile, I had made some good friends here in New Orleans, and was gradually spending more and more time with them plus my new job was occupying much of my spare time too. By the time I had been here 5 years, interactions with my Lafayette friends had really slowed down. I gradually stopped making those drives to Lafayette and they gradually stopped driving here as well.

It wasn't painful! 2 hours is close enough that you can see your friends as often as you want. To me it was really no different from being 1 hour away.

 

[bbbamI]

When we were in our 30's, we moved 3 hours away from our friends. All of us had jobs and on the weekends, time was spent catching up on chores. So, visits from our friends were far and few between. Like has been said, we made friends in our new location.

A few years later, we moved two states away. Once again, visits were far and few between.

Stages of life get in the way. When we're younger we're busy with making a living. In the later years, health issues come into play. Fortunately we keep in touch with most of the people we're fond of, but it's usually by email or texts. I prefer hugs, but it is what it is.

 

[Music Lover]

One of my friends bought a house an hour away just before they retired. For the first year they loved it and had a lot of visitors. But after that first year visitors dropped off significantly and in winter it's hard for them to get people to drive out to see them.

Coincidentally I'm heading to their place later today but the last time I was there was last summer. They still see people but for the most part they have to take the initiative to visit.

 

[Scuba]

Interesting responses, thanks. We wouldn’t mind going back to visit friends since it’s a short drive and we like the beach area a lot too. I suspect if we didn’t go back often, friendships would wane over time, although Palm Springs is definitely a resort area that people from LA seem to enjoy visiting. I’m sure we’d also make some new friends, but the ones at home are 20-30 year friendships. These relationships can’t be replaced by new friendships.