No Kids, happier Lives??

[FinanceDude]

I am sure many of you also saw this:

Interesting reading for those of us who have kids, and those of us who don't............

WP: Happy marriages, kids optional - washingtonpost.com Highlights - MSNBC.com

 

[TromboneAl]

When I see salmon struggling up hundreds of miles of river, over waterfalls, past gauntlets of fishermen, I say to them, "Listen, you don't really need to do this. You can just stay in the ocean and eat lots of other fish. I know that it's hardwired into your brain to want to do this, but, really, not necessary for you."

 

[Nords]

Interesting reading for those of us who have kids, and those of us who don't............

Good article. Kids aren't the glue to a happy marriage, they're the shackles. Parenting is a life sentence with no parole for good behavior!

Our marital rule is that either one of us is free to leave at any time. However the first one to leave has to take our teenager with them.

I put the parenthood decision in three categories
1) Can't imagine not having kids
2) Can't imagine having kids
3) Didn't want to spend the rest of our lives wondering...

Having said that, I'm glad to be a parent. I just had no idea it would be so hard, and if I'd known that in advance I'm not so sure I'd be a parent.

Gene Simmons & Shannon Tweed seem to have done a good job raising their two kids during 22+ years of happy unmarriage. Erma Bombeck said it best: "People get married to worry about money together."

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

i think i've posted this before that someone said that the buddha said that you can not reach enlightenment in the life where you have kids because regardless of how unattached and unworried you can become in your own life you will always remain concerned for your children.

 

[bssc]

I have never seen kids save an unhappy marriage.

On the other hand, I know friends who are very happy to have kids in their lives while others, like DW and I, are happy without them, just like the article said.

 

[bongo2]

Sad that some people would think that the purpose of children is to make their parents happier or a marriage stronger.

 

[tangomonster]

As a very happy childfree person, I like the article, but I do have to admit that it's only saying that children do not a happy marriage make. It does seem to indicate that children provide satisfaction for the parents as individuals, just not as a couple (possibly because each parent's experience is different and kids can be divisive).

I don't think you'll ever convince the majority of married couples that kids are not essential to their marriages, especially with churches pushing the agenda to multiply and get more church members. And having kids doesn't even seem like such a couples thing anymore, with so many getting divorced or single people having kids on their own.

 

[dex]

Not having kids should be on the list of solutions to stop global warming.

 

[farmerEd]

Not having kids should be on the list of solutions to stop global warming.

May help global warming, but isn't going to help with the Social Security pyramid scheme....

 

[FinanceDude]

May help global warming, but isn't going to help with the Social Security pyramid scheme....

 

[terminator]

i think i've posted this before that someone said that the buddha said that you can not reach enlightenment in the life where you have kids because regardless of how unattached and unworried you can become in your own life you will always remain concerned for your children.

Interesting since Buddha was married and had a son (who became a disciple).

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

May help global warming, but isn't going to help with the Social Security pyramid scheme....

that's what immigration is for.

 

[lazygood4nothinbum]

Interesting since Buddha was married and had a son (who became a disciple).

oh, had no idea. i like to study mystic aspects of world religions but as to the particulars of the religions themself, i follow all that about as closely as i do athletics. maybe it was a different buddha who commented while they were all playing the vollyball in nirvana or something.

and stop interrupting me while i spread falsehoods i've read from dubious sources.

 

[bpp3]

Interesting since Buddha was married and had a son (who became a disciple).

Then he should know!

 

[Bigritchie]

It would be interesting to know how many ER people do not have children, or people aspiring to ER.

I'm about to turn 30 this month, and wife and I still aren't sure if we ever wanna have kids, especially with our retirement so close at hand. We would rather spend 30-40 traveling the world.

Not to mention the financial part of having a child........

 

[bssc]

I have a friend who just turned 49 and had his sixth kid. He said he is going to be 71 when she graduates but it makes him happy.

Happiness is what it is all about, for me it will be ER.

 

[CyclingInvestor]

It would be interesting to know how many ER people do not have children, or people aspiring to ER.

I'm about to turn 30 this month, and wife and I still aren't sure if we ever wanna have kids, especially with our retirement so close at hand. We would rather spend 30-40 traveling the world.

Not to mention the financial part of having a child........

I am 48, retired last year. I was married from 27-34. I was sure enough that
I did not want children to get "fixed" as quickly as I could find a doctor who
would perform the procedure on a young, unmarried guy.

 

[FinanceDude]

I have a friend who just turned 49 and had his sixth kid. He said he is going to be 71 when she graduates but it makes him happy.

Happiness is what it is all about, for me it will be ER.

Some of us HAVE kids, AND will be FIRED, it just takes a healthy dose of LBYM...........

 

[FinanceDude]

I am 48, retired last year. I was married from 27-34. I was sure enough that
I did not want children to get "fixed" as quickly as I could find a doctor who
would perform the procedure on a young, unmarried guy.

Why would a doctor question your wishes?

 

[CyclingInvestor]

Why would a doctor question your wishes?

They told me that 26 was too young to make a decision like that,
and that I was almost certain to change my mind later, and that
reversing it was difficult, expensive, and often failed.

 

[bongo2]

It would be interesting to know how many ER people do not have children, or people aspiring to ER.

Read all about it here: http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/how-many-children-23653.html

A little over a third here have no children, compared to only 20% of the US. Here about 15% have 3+, while about 30% of the US does.

 

[cantlogin]

Read all about it here: http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/how-many-children-23653.html

A little over a third here have no children, compared to only 20% of the US. Here about 15% have 3+, while about 30% of the US does.

Great job bongo2. That's a perfect example of a constructive post!

 

[bright eyed]

i definitely think more people should DECIDE not to have kids...seems like both of my sisters aren't likely candidates for little ones, so they just have more energy and $ to spoil mine more!

it is definitely harder than imagined, but again, i really wanted them. if i was unsure i wanted them, had them and reeling at the level of effort, i'd be pissed!

 

[FinanceDude]

Read all about it here: http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/how-many-children-23653.html

A little over a third here have no children, compared to only 20% of the US. Here about 15% have 3+, while about 30% of the US does.

So, a LOT of the FIRE folks on here had no children, most likely by choice.

Until you have children, you don't know what the REAL COST is. Our budget planning for children was WAY too small...........

 

[Arif]

I've heard that kids can keep you from doing the things you want. Because of that we held off for 5 years before we decided to have a child. It wasn't as hard as I thought although it had more of an impact on me than I thought.
We've figured out how to have our kid and enjoy life although in some unorthodox ways (moving to Panama for one). For instance, when our home is completed there won't be adequate schooling near by so we decided to home school for the foreseable future. Having kids and living your dreams sometimes takes sacrifice on both the parents and the kids.