should we go to ER ?

[Koolau]

Don’t feel you have to accept appointments they offer. Push your doctor to make phone calls to get you in for tests and specialist appointments as soon as possible. DW is still here today because our doctor called to get her scans done and have her seen by specialists urgently. She had ovarian and uterine cancer 19 years ago.

In most situations, doctors have a lot of pull to get you the care you need when you need it. My PCP wanted me to get a colonoscopy due to "symptoms." The earliest was going to be in November. He pulled strings and made phone calls and got me in in two weeks. (Only polyps, but it could have been critical for me.)


I didn't have to push my doctor very hard as he was MY advocate. Not all doctors (and not in all health care systems) are this responsive. In that situation YOU have to be the advocate. Blessings.

 

[MarieIG]

. . .

If you are concerned about your wife's situation (and you are!), I'd go to an ER that is connected to a good hospital that has many services. "Connected" as in right there. Not a stand-alone across town. If the ER decides after some testing that it is serious with respect to time and degradation, they will admit her as an inpatient. If they don't, then the worst $-wise is you may have to pay more for the ER visit. I'd wouldn't worry about the $ or about bothering ER people. People go to the ER for all sorts of stuff, whether they should or not.
A weekend can be a long time...
Better a trip to ER today, than 911 over the weekend.

This. Pick the best local hospital and drive her there.

 

[Aerides]

This. Pick the best local hospital and drive her there.

If she's still having trouble breathing consider calling the ambulance. Sure, it will cost more, but they'll begin initial triage quickly, and admittance upon arrival is far faster - no sitting in the waiting room for hours.

 

[ER_Hopeful]

long day. went to ER, got admitted quickly, the ER doc moved mountains to make things happen for us after I broke down and cried in front of her after she told me all things pointing to cancer.


CT scan done, primary doc came, oncologist came. water extraction (forgot med term) and biopsy happening tomorrow.


what to expect after the biopsy, oncologist will present options? and we decide what to do? how do we get second opinions if we want that? do we bring all test results to the new oncologist?


CT showed not only does she have pancreatic tumor but two pelvic tumors, one in each side. what kind of chemo procedures can we expect? really dont want to think about this anymore, but need to prep myself for the roads ahead.

 

[badatmath]

I'm not sure what to expect but I'm sorry it was an awful day. I'm sure you are somewhat in shock - it is hard to take it all in.

Trying to predict what will happen is only going to keep you up all night. Try to get some rest before tomorrow. You can only do this one step at a time.

 

[ER_Hopeful]

I'm not sure what to expect but I'm sorry it was an awful day. I'm sure you are somewhat in shock - it is hard to take it all in.

Trying to predict what will happen is only going to keep you up all night. Try to get some rest before tomorrow. You can only do this one step at a time.

Im completely drained emotionally, mentally, just can't fall asleep. reason i'm here.

 

[Alan]

So sorry to hear all this, I don’t know what to expect, but hopefully others will come along with some good suggestions.

 

[badatmath]

Im completely drained emotionally, mentally, just can't fall asleep. reason i'm here.

Yeah. I hope this isn't the wrong thing to say but you might ask about a pet scan. Some insurers push back on those but IMO it gives a better whole body picture than isolated scans of this or that. Surgery might be a possibility too, I suppose?

 

[Dreamer]

I am so sorry to hear about this. Definitely a scary time in your life. My DH had a biopsy done of his bladder and I could not sleep well for several days until the results came back. Easier said than done, but please take care of yourself and try to get plenty of rest.

 

[old medic]

Im completely drained emotionally, mentally, just can't fall asleep. reason i'm here.

Well you have a bunch of strangers keeping you in their thoughts and Prayers.

 

[EastWest Gal]

Right now, take things one day at a time. There is still the biopsy and results to get through. Hug your wife. A lot.

My thoughts were with you all day yesterday, as I’m sure that was the case with others here. I hope you are finally resting now, as it’s 4AM where you are.

Regarding second opinions: Oncology centers are collaborative. They have regular meetings amongst all the involved specialists to review cases and collaborate on the best course of treatment. Your wife’s case will no doubt have multiple physicians involved through this process.

 

[mystang52]

l


what to expect after the biopsy, oncologist will present options? and we decide what to do? how do we get second opinions if we want that? do we bring all test results to the new oncologist?


CT showed not only does she have pancreatic tumor but two pelvic tumors, one in each side. what kind of chemo procedures can we expect? really dont want to think about this anymore, but need to prep myself for the roads ahead.

You're going through a brutal emotional time now. When I got my cancer diagnosis I had luxury of time, but I researched best cancer centers in my [NYC Metropolitan] area. I did a quick Google search, and it appears that UCLA Pancreatic Center (https://www.uclahealth.org/medical-services/pancreas-disease) is a top rated facility. Something to consider, if you're not already at UCLA.
Maybe your daughter can make some calls to help out. They can tell you what you need to bring, if you go that route. Another thing, most health insurers offer Nurse Case Managers to help guide you through the many issues and decisions you need to make. Rely on family for assistance as well.
Again, my best wishes to you and your DW.

 

[EastWest Gal]

You're going through a brutal emotional time now. When I got my cancer diagnosis I had luxury of time, but I researched best cancer centers in my [NYC Metropolitan] area. I did a quick Google search, and it appears that UCLA Pancreatic Center (https://www.uclahealth.org/medical-services/pancreas-disease) is a top rated facility. Something to consider, if you're not already at UCLA.

Maybe your daughter can make some calls to help out. They can tell you what you need to bring, if you go that route. Another thing, most health insurers offer Nurse Case Managers to help guide you through the many issues and decisions you need to make. Rely on family for assistance as well.

Again, my best wishes to you and your DW.

+1 on UCLA.

 

[FlaGator]

long day. went to ER, got admitted quickly, the ER doc moved mountains to make things happen for us after I broke down and cried in front of her after she told me all things pointing to cancer.


CT scan done, primary doc came, oncologist came. water extraction (forgot med term) and biopsy happening tomorrow.


what to expect after the biopsy, oncologist will present options? and we decide what to do? how do we get second opinions if we want that? do we bring all test results to the new oncologist?


CT showed not only does she have pancreatic tumor but two pelvic tumors, one in each side. what kind of chemo procedures can we expect? really dont want to think about this anymore, but need to prep myself for the roads ahead.

I am one of the anonymous people who was thinking about you and your wife yesterday. I went through something similar 10 years ago with my wife.

I don't know what you should expect as to treatment. My wife's course of treatment was specific to her diagnosis. Biopsy results, size of the tumors, other symptoms will guide the oncologists' recommendations.

From my experience, your wife needs a strong, assertive advocate willing to ask questions to ensure she is getting the care she needs and wants.

You need to tap into your personal support network ASAP. I was very fortunate to have several friends that I spoke with often, one of them called me daily. You're carrying a big burden with a lot of uncertainty and need to have strong people around you to be strong for DW.

You're welcome to PM me with questions about my experience and arrange a phone call if you'd like to talk.

My best wishes to you and your wife.

 

[ER_Hopeful]

You're going through a brutal emotional time now. When I got my cancer diagnosis I had luxury of time, but I researched best cancer centers in my [NYC Metropolitan] area. I did a quick Google search, and it appears that UCLA Pancreatic Center (https://www.uclahealth.org/medical-services/pancreas-disease) is a top rated facility. Something to consider, if you're not already at UCLA.
Maybe your daughter can make some calls to help out. They can tell you what you need to bring, if you go that route. Another thing, most health insurers offer Nurse Case Managers to help guide you through the many issues and decisions you need to make. Rely on family for assistance as well.
Again, my best wishes to you and your DW.

Great info! thank you so much. and they're in my in PPO network.

 

[pacergal]

It is good that you decided to go to the ER, it is where your wife needed to be.
Right now, focus on self care, as you will be wanting to be there for your wife, and taking in a lot of information from all of her drs.
If it is possible to have another friend or family member there also, a second set of ears helps.
UCLA sounds like a very good option.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you navigate this.

 

[Koolau]

Don't hesitate to call on friends and family for help. They want to help! Blessings on you and DW.

 

[mystang52]

It is good that you decided to go to the ER, it is where your wife needed to be.
Right now, focus on self care, as you will be wanting to be there for your wife, and taking in a lot of information from all of her drs.
If it is possible to have another friend or family member there also, a second set of ears helps.
UCLA sounds like a very good option.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you navigate this.

+1 to that second set of ears. After my first visit to my oncologist, DW and I heard different, almost contradictory things; she heard correctly, my memory was incorrect, no doubt due to my fear at that point. A more objective 3rd party can help you "translate" the information.

 

[ER_Hopeful]

any online cancer treatment/support forum I can join?

 

[mystang52]

any online cancer treatment/support forum I can join?

This organization may be a good place to start: https://pancan.org/facing-pancreatic-cancer/patient-services/survivor-and-caregiver-network/

This is a British online support group:
https://forum.pancreaticcancer.org....5*MTY5NTQ2NzMxMi4xLjAuMTY5NTQ2NzMxOC41NC4wLjA.

 

[ER_Hopeful]

waiting for biopsy result in next day or so. i had asked the doc privately what he thinks, he said it's pretty much stage 4 cancer.



wife condition is deteriorating slowly, as heart wrenching as it's, I need to think about what legal docs I should have in place in case any sudden trauma happens to her.



CA Advance Directive ? Healthcare power of attorney ? like this one https://www.caringinfo.org/wp-content/uploads/California.pdf ?


Pancreatic cancer is very deadly by the time it shows, it's almost always too late.

 

[pacergal]

My heart goes out to you and your wife.

Definitely, your wife needs to review/ sign Advanced directive, and discuss with you so you are very aware of her choices.
Healthcare POA would be next.
Are your wills up to date?

Spend as much time as you can with each other, lean on family and friends for support.
Take care.

 

[Venturer]

My prayers are with you during this. Went thru a lot of this type with my mother with her lung and throat cancer. I really hate that you are facing this but it sounds like you are going about it the right way.

 

[ER_Hopeful]

biopsy result should come out today. will be calling couple places (the oncologist, UCLA, City of Hope).


trying to understand the CT scan report (became available online yesterday), it seems to say there's no pancreatic tumor but the tumors are in the pelvic instead? If anyone can explain the major issues to me, I'll greatly appreciate it. thank you so much.

 

[Koolau]

biopsy result should come out today. will be calling couple places (the oncologist, UCLA, City of Hope).


trying to understand the CT scan report (became available online yesterday), it seems to say there's no pancreatic tumor but the tumors are in the pelvic instead? If anyone can explain the major issues to me, I'll greatly appreciate it. thank you so much.

Honestly, anything we would say here would only be speculation. It's hard to wait, but that's what I would suggest. Speak with those following your DW's case. They will explain everything that they know from the scan.

Right now, I would hold onto the finding that the scan saw no involvement of the pancreas. I think that would be good news though I have no training in such things.

You have to prepare yourself to listen carefully to the doctors. Take notes if need be. You'll likely be making decisions about treatment, so be ready to put your feelings aside for a while and participate in the process with the doctors and your DW.

I will share with you that I made the mistake of looking at my CT scan results in My Chart. The words "Stage Four with metastasis to lungs" almost made me slip out of my chair. I felt faint and near a break down. I steeled myself and chose not to tell DW of my diagnosis until we met with the doctor.

Thank God the Doctor assured us that treatment for this cancer was often successful. It has been successful though I'll never be able to say "oh, I'm cancer free" without another biopsy which would not be warranted unless something starts to grow again.

My point in all this is to try to take it one step at a time. If you are a praying person, I would advise that. If you have a spiritual advisor or close friend - lean on them.

God's blessing on you and DW. We are here for you.