Introverted engineer, compensated with facade of outgoing, trained in household arts by grandmother after mother/sister killed. Endless layoffs and downsizing and a libertarian bent led to some quiet 30's and 40's. After final layoff in 08, it became untenable to describe my unconcern over paychecks as unemployment.
Once I escaped real estate and invested the proceeds, my FIRE situation became apparent, even to me. My frugal approach of cooking, cleaning, cars, money, budgeting, investing, gardening, biking, hockey, snowboarding never sold well. I'm not mr excitement.
I am invisible to women who like spending the proceeds of a hard-charger. But I have flexibility to be helpful when appliances and vehicles fail, meals need cooked at end of long day... I just have to stay within my sweet spot.
I walk dogs and contribute to potluck dinners while the men keep raising my odds with overwork, overspend, overdrink, overeat... To paraphrase Bezo's "their margin is my opportunity", their status is my advantage.
My primary limitation has been biochemical. My nose tells me subconsciously who to see again. My head tells me who to avoid. Internet dating is out. In rural new england, the intersection can be the empty set. But not that often.
