Tell your LBYM 'conversion' story here

[NotMyFault]

In my early twenties I was a spendthrift. I had college debt, credit card debt, drifting between part time jobs and spending my money and time in bars. Then I met a girl. She was very conservative and a big time saver. She showed me that I was on the fast train nowhere and convinced me to start paying off my debts and get a real job. After a few years of living on pasta and grilled cheese sandwiches I was at a positive net worth. If you never lived the train wreck life you probably do not know how liberating it is to actually have money in the bank. Going from "If my car breaks down what will I do?" To "my transmission went out I will just write a check for that and still have money in the emergency fund" is an incredible experience. From that moment on I realized money=freedom from many worries and having more stuff was not a source of happiness but a burden. Since then I have been a LBYM convert. Since then I have tried to convert others but no one wants to deprive themselves now for a better tomorrow. It took about 6 years to go from below 0 net worth to owning a house. She waited another 4 to make sure what she taught me stuck then she agreed that I was acceptable husband material and married me.
So much for my secret identity, if any of our close friends or relatives reads this they will know exactly who I am.
That's my story. Now when I see people spending more than they make I say there but for the grace of god go I. It was really a close call.

Thanks
NMF

 

[freebird5825]

This just jogged an old memory from waaay back.

We kids in the family all had ceramic piggy banks when growing up. We were taught (i guess) to save our little bit of money in the bank.

I learned from my two older sisters that the only may to get the change out of the bank (without breaking it) was to try to fish out coins one-at-a-time via the upside down piggy bank's coin slot with a nail file or butter knife. I think that must have somehow taught me that is was good idea to make getting at the coins a difficult task. Sorta like a penalty for early withdrawal.

Something like these?

I made these piggy banks in Ceramics when I was a young girl. I can only imagine the age of the coins contained within. I was born in 1958 and used them until I went to college in 1976. My Mom hung onto them for me. I did not know about that until she passed until late 2001. They were in her apartment.

Note the titles of the books behind them.

PS The butter knife w*rked the best.

 

[Meadbh]

In my early twenties I was a spendthrift. I had college debt, credit card debt, drifting between part time jobs and spending my money and time in bars. Then I met a girl. She was very conservative and a big time saver. She showed me that I was on the fast train nowhere and convinced me to start paying off my debts and get a real job.

Meadbh thinks: I hope she stuck around!

After a few years of living on pasta and grilled cheese sandwiches I was at a positive net worth. If you never lived the train wreck life you probably do not know how liberating it is to actually have money in the bank. Going from "If my car breaks down what will I do?" To "my transmission went out I will just write a check for that and still have money in the emergency fund" is an incredible experience. From that moment on I realized money=freedom from many worries and having more stuff was not a source of happiness but a burden. Since then I have been a LBYM convert. Since then I have tried to convert others but no one wants to deprive themselves now for a better tomorrow. It took about 6 years to go from below 0 net worth to owning a house. She waited another 4 to make sure what she taught me stuck then she agreed that I was acceptable husband material and married me.

Meadbh thinks: Princess Charming really does exist!

So much for my secret identity, if any of our close friends or relatives reads this they will know exactly who I am.
That's my story. Now when I see people spending more than they make I say there but for the grace of god go I. It was really a close call.

Thanks
NMF

Great story!

 

[scrabbler1]

NMF, that was an awesome story. You found a gem there.

 

[NotMyFault]

It has been 23 years since the day we met and we are still going strong.

 

[Ronnieboy]

Note the titles of the books behind them.

"Shacking up" caught my eye

 

[freebird5825]

"Shacking up" caught my eye

You devil...very good eye.

That book is about protecting yourself and your assets when living together. It discusses things like claims of "sweat equity", leaving bank accounts as single registrations, how to leave things to your SO versus heirs, etc etc.
It is a must-read for anyone, the young and not so young, who is single and sharing living quarters.
The book immediately to the left is the NOLO guide for same subject.

 

[Closet_Gamer]

For me it was watching my parents live through four years of brutal healthcare issues.

They had always been good at living within their means -- which wasn't much. Dad was a probation officer and raising 5 kids. When I was in 5th grade we moved from our duplex to a nicer home further in the 'burbs. Mid-80s, 18% interest rates.

About 4 months later Mom got cancer. 12 months later Dad developed horrific issues from Diabetes. Surgery, chemo for Mom. Years in-and-out of the hospital for Dad...and then he had a heart attack/double by-pass.

Don't know exactly how close we came to losing the house...but very close I think. Not sure if we were getting money help from relatives. If Dad hadn't been a civil servant with huge amounts of sick leave, vacation pay and health benefits, we would have been toast.

Massive, early lesson that really bad sh*t can happen and really good people can get screwed by events beyond their control. 6 months of emergency savings? What a joke. 6 months is only long enough to realize you really have a problem. Real problem are measured in years.

Life lesson: Build a financial cushion. Add a cushion on top of the cushion. Buy an air bag to place on top of the 2nd cushion. Place a trampoline under the cushions and the air bag. Check on the positioning of said cushion/airbag/trampoline balance sheet daily.

Now you MIGHT be ready for what the world can toss your way. Maybe.

(PS....Mom and Dad both lived. Dad made it 70. Mom is 78 and still kickin'.)

 

[rbmrtn]

We kids in the family all had ceramic piggy banks when growing up. We were taught (i guess) to save our little bit of money in the bank.

I remember my grandmother giving me one shaped like a book. The banks would give them away when you opened one of those 5 1/4% passbook accounts ( wouldn't that be nice ).

 

[NW-Bound]

...
Part 2: My parents were great at LBYM. Took very few trips, bought used cars and drove till they fell apart, furniture older than they are etc etc. They had big plans for retirement though. Then just three months after my dad retired he was diagnosed with cancer. Their Europe cruise was cancelled. Their RV trip coast to coast had to be cancelled. My dad will never be able to get his medical clearance to attain his dream of getting his pilot's license now. He might never get to be healthy enough to take any of the trips they had wanted to take together...

My parents were frugal, but the one thing they enjoyed and spent money on was travel. They did many domestic road trips, then in later years made foreign trips. This was good, as my late father was tied down with kidney failure after he retired, and the twice-a-week dialysis treatment hampered his travel plan (it is possible to arrange for dialysis during travel but the logistics could get complicated).

We also like to travel, and have been enjoying it through our life. Road trips were not so expensive when we were young and did not have much. Now, we can go to more distant locations, and also can spend more time on travel, which I would like to do if we are not so tied down with parental care.

My sister, after recovery from a mild cancer, has been traveling like crazy. She and her retired husband can certainly afford it with their stash. They just came back from a 3-week cruise, and already talked of taking a 3-week river cruise this summer through Europe. Those are in addition to 4 or 5 other 1-week trips that are interspersed through a year. Yep, with children all grown up, they have realized that they cannot "take it with them".

 

[travelover]

.........those 5 1/4% passbook accounts ( wouldn't that be nice ).

Only if inflation is less than 5.25%

 

[jollystomper]

I had 3 conversion indictments..

The first was getting my first credit card, an American Express, right out of college and just starting to work. And I abused it - bought stuff and never paid the full balance off, just figuring I'd catch up at some point. Then I go to buy new tires for my car, and after they shop had put the tires on they ran the card and it was rejected. Back in those days they could call the credit card company, so they did, spoke to them and then gave me the phone. The person at the other end told me in no uncertain terms that the sale would be rejected, and that they were blocking all future charges on the card. The shop manager glared at me and yelled as he was going back into the service bay "Get those tires off, the SOB can't afford them!"

I was very angry, embarrassed, wanted to curse the guy out for yelling, but fortunately it quickly dawned on me: "you put yourself in this situation and there is no one else to blame for the consequences". That started me down the road not getting things I couldn't afford.

The second incident happened about 6 months later, when I was returning on a business trip with a group of folks from my company. I overhead two of them in the airplane row behind me talking about finances, and one of them said. "Yeah, I should get my act together, I'm 28, have $200 to my name, and haven't paid off my car". Since he was in the same job role as me, but at a higher level, I had a general idea of what he was likely making and was floored by that statement. I was 22 at the time and it just scared me, and that is when I started taking saving seriously, and looking at investing for the long term.

The third was when 401ks became available. I in my mid 20s and had just gotten married and the thought of putting away money that I couldn't touch at all for over 30 years without penalty seemed daunting. But I had a several older co-workers, then in their 40's who berated me almost daily to start contributing to a 401k, and to contribute the maximum. They kept saying 'Put way the max! You can live on that! Don't assume the pension plan will be enough or will be around!" I finally did start one about six months later - and found that LBYM to contribute to has made quite a difference all these years later.

 

[brett]

Came by it honestly. Get up in a Scottish Presbyterian family whose parents survived the Great Depression.

 

[W2R]

Came by it honestly. Get up in a Scottish Presbyterian family whose parents survived the Great Depression.

+1 Me, too.

 

[misty57]

Wow, there are some great stories on here.

Like many others, I grew up with parents who grew up during the Depression and were frugal....almost to a fault, many times giving up "living" for the sake of saving. As a result, when I got my first job in high school, I spent almost every penny that I made, which was a lot for someone my age, on food, movies, clothes, shoes, etc.

Going to college "forced" me into frugality. My parents had drilled into my head that debt was bad, which was a good thing, and I graduated without any debt.

I met my DH in college and he was working his way through too. His parents seemed to have found that balance between saving and living. His dad used to always say, "Man makes money and money makes money" so we knew that saving was only half the job; we also needed to invest. His dad retired from the military when he was 52 and my DH decided pretty early on that he wanted to be able to RE too.

We got married, both got good jobs at megacorp, and began our LBYM lifestyle. After 7 years, I became a SAHM and never returned to megcorp. Along the way, we tried to find balance like his parents had. I think overall we were successful, but sometimes we gave up "living" that we probably could have afforded for the sake of FIRE.

DH will be giving his RE notice within the next couple of months (he just turned 56) and we're shopping for the car that will replace mine (which is 13 years old) and will take us on, what we hope to be, some very fun and memorable cross-country adventures in retirement.

Yep, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it!!