The later years

[imoldernu]

What do you expect to be doing, and where do you expect to live in the later years... your call, but for me, 80+.

Retirement means (meant) freedom for all of us. The retirement dream is different for each of us... travel, personal freedom from responsibility, a time to explore those things that we never had time for, a time to build... a home, a lifestyle, a dream. A phase of life... maybe at 65, maybe at 70, maybe at 75, or 80, or even 85...

For this intent, the later years are those beyond the exploratory, the excitement of "new"... beyond the establishment of that pattern of comfort and enjoyment. It's after you've settled in. It's that time in the life-span, when "things" become different. It's the slow-down... when we spend more time sleeping... when we don't travel as much... when we don't have the desire to re-furnish the house, to buy a new car, to see the latest movie or to go the the concerts. A time when it's kind of nice to just sit at home for an evening, rather than going out to eat, or to a social function.

Or... maybe this doesn't describe you at all, and you'l be traveling world wide when you are in your 90's. We know a number of 90+ retirees who still spend the winter in Florida or go on sea cruises.

As of today, you probably don't know or think of what you'll be doing between ten and forty years in the future, but looking far ahead can be an interesting exercise both for mental and practical purposes. Maybe a rethinking of priorities... like getting those big dream plans into place earlier, just in case.

Where will you live? "I'll live in my house forever!" "Really?" The oldest guy (gal) on the block? "My friends and neighbors are part of my life!"...
Until...? "Just me and my DW/DH!" ... Hope.

Have you outlined your interests? Things to do, to visit, to read, build, create, collect, or learn about... or... just a time to let the brain go blank and to recover from those responsibilities that you carried for so many years.

The crystal ball... Health! Not part of the plan, except as it's part of the timeline... important to setting priorities. Not an obsession, but a reality check to decide when to get your pilot's license or to take that bike tour in Italy.

Most of us have some kind of a plan for Early Retirement, What do you think about "the later years"? Face the situation as it unfolds? Accelerate plans to fulfill the ER dreams? Go with the flow? Every moment could be the last?
..........................................................................................................
For jeanie and me....

The move to the CCRC was the best... 2004 to 2013.. 6 and 6 snowbirds in Il and FL... A slide into the older person's society, while we still lived in the very social 55+ community. We're comfortable in our Liberty Village CCRC villa... with friends, and the slower lifestyle. Integrated into the local community to enjoy the facilities, shopping and the activities offered by a small town. We missed some of the things we might have enjoyed... cruises or international travel trips, but we never noticed that.

So, some of the realities of the later years. Energy levels lower. Few "spur of the moment" decisions.... store, walk, exercise, visiting with friends. Car rides, for the sake of riding. Life is pretty much scheduled on the refrigerator calendar: trash day, bridge, memories meeting, Aldi's, Walmart, Doctors visit, pay bill for " ", Gary's visit, Rileys' birthday, make salad for pot luck', etc, etc...

Lot's of "stuff" in the house... Now "standardizing" where things go, where they stay... organized refrigerator, pantry, paperwork, files, to do list.
Yes... the kinds of things we all do, but more important now, as memories scramble, and in my case, the onset of dementia. Standard and safe... two words that have become evermore important.

The individual... we have replaced many of our old group activities, with personalized interests ... going over old photo's the CD music collection, college yearbooks, and the 1991 address list of our FL Mfg home community.
Watching Turner Classic Movies, contacting the oldest living friends by via Email... we walk the mall... (when the spirit moves), and occasionally do 20 minutes on the stationary bike... Mebbe once a week...

What we don't do... (seems small, but noteworthy) less decorating, re-doing living room, bath, bedroom etc... same old curtains, carpeting, spreads, towels. So far, continued effort to vacuum, wash, scrub, sweep, dust, and to do the spring/fall reordering of the closets... Especially attentive to all sanitary conditions.

Interesting aside... though we are in a fairly large free-standing home (villa) community, 79 separate homes, there are very few social events... dinners, cards etc., where residents gather in the houses. almost all social events are held at the main apartment buildings of the dining room. Less stress for hosting in one's own home.

Another post with too many words, but a bit of venting about the later years.
We see them as being quite different, even though the change comes gradually. We've definitely slowed down... a lot.... It has not been unpleasant. Looking back, nothing we would change. Just normal aging, but definitely a very different part of the retirement years. Now, standing back a few feet and looking at the past 30 retirement years, the later years are much different than they were in 1989.

 

[aja8888]

DW's pretty frail at 72 and has advanced COPD and severe osteoporosis. Me, no health issues at 74 and active as can be.

Quite frankly, I don't have a clear vision as to what the next 10 years will bring for us as a couple. I can visualize a few scenarios, but none are real good news or worth expressing. I guess we will just take it one day at a time and see what happens.

 

[W2R]

For this intent, the later years are those beyond the exploratory, the excitement of "new"... beyond the establishment of that pattern of comfort and enjoyment. It's after you've settled in. It's that time in the life-span, when "things" become different. It's the slow-down... when we spend more time sleeping... when we don't travel as much... when we don't have the desire to re-furnish the house, to buy a new car, to see the latest movie or to go the the concerts. A time when it's kind of nice to just sit at home for an evening, rather than going out to eat, or to a social function.

According to this definition, I'm already there at age 70. Well, we do go out to eat but that's about all. I am extremely happy here in my own home at present.

I am planning to stay in my house for as long as I can. Frank and I live right next door to one another and can (and do) check on each other every day.

Then, if Frank dies before me, or if I need nursing care for physical or mental frailties, I will try to move into a CCRC or other facility. I would rather do that than depend on home health care, after reading stories about how the elderly are so often robbed, mistreated, and victimized by home health care workers.

The transition period to a CCRC may be dicey due to the long waiting periods for some of them. I'm awfully nervous about that, and about selecting which one, and making that transition. But maybe I will be OK here at home.

 

[athena53]

I'm 65 and (knock wood, thanks be to God) still in excellent health and very active. My plan is that when I get to the point that I no longer want to stay in the house because it's too much to maintain, I'll move closer to DS and DDIL, who are 3 hours away, in whatever kind of retirement community I choose based on my needs then. I hope that's not for a good, long time.

My Dad, age 87, just told me that a 92-year old resident of his Independent Living community is leaving for Greece where she'll be taking a cruise among the islands. I want to be that lady! More realistically, I see my travel becoming more structured, less independent as I get older, so someone else schleps the bags and has to find a solution if things go wrong. I've done a couple of small-ship cruises and one small-group tour of India and Nepal and that aspect was a relief, but I'm still rambling around Europe independently.

 

[Red Badger]

To OP and others. Thanks for a sobering assessment of things possibly to come. I'm a newly minted (just passed Year One over the weekend) retiree at 61. DW and I have been travelling a good deal, and doing so because that will not last forever. DW has some health challenges that won't get better with age. I have CAD, but work out 5X per week and my cholesterol and triglyceride numbers are excellent.

So, my plan (DW opts out of planning)** is to stay in our house until it gets to be too much, then perhaps a 55+ until CCRC beckons (or maybe skip 55+ outright). I think Ike said it best... Plans are useless, planning is essential.

** a few years ago, I almost had to put her in a cat wrap to go get our wills, living wills, POA's, advance directives etc properly concluded.

 

[Souschef]

i just turned 80, and joined the United Flying Octogenarians (UFO) as their youngest member.
I just passed my flight physical and check ride, so I am good for another 2 years. I have to thank Mom (died at 102) and Dad (died at 92) for my genes.
We plan to stay in this home (+55 mobile home park) unless circumstances force a change.
We have cut way back on travel, now taking shorter road trips. DW cannot handle the "on the bus off the bus, bags outside at 8 AM" excursions any more.

 

[harley]

I'm going to take after my idol, REWahoo. I'm going to haunt this forum 24x7 making fun of people's ridiculous posts. It's a full time avocation.

Hmmm...now that I think about it that's pretty much what I do now.

 

[haha]

I'm going to take after my idol, REWahoo. I'm going to haunt this forum 24x7 making fun of people's ridiculous posts. It's a full time avocation.

Hmmm...now that I think about it that's pretty much what I do now.

My oh my- what a nuanced post!

Ha

 

[Koolau]

Another post with too many words, but a bit of venting about the later years.

Please, please, please continue with "too many words..." I love your posts and I've learned so much from you over the past several years.

At 71 (can't even believe I'm saying that number) I notice a real slow down from my ER of 58. Have had a health scare or two (both of us) but still reasonably healthy and with it. We too have been thinking and planning what to do about the years to come. We have investigated assisted living and CCRC in our adopted state of Hawaii as well as near to our old homestead (which we are visiting as I write this.) Even though we have reasonable savings, I could see how two folks at $10k/month each could go through almost any "normal" amount of savings very quickly if we ended up in skilled care. So, so far, we have just continued to live in a condo (and we rent the old midwest homestead from our next generation - long story.)

Every once in a while, something comes up that makes me think "Well, that door has closed." Climbing Diamond Head crater, stand-up paddle boarding, surfing, hiking the heritage trail, etc. etc. are some examples of things I'll (now) never do. Yes, I suppose some of them are still theoretically possible, but as Dirty Harry said "A man's got to know his limitations."

I suppose at this point we'll just keep on doing what we're doing until something changes. YMMV

 

[Katsmeow]

I have thought of this. DH is 70 and I am 64. But, my mother just recently died at age 94 and I saw how things changed for her. When my Dad died she was 76. Once he died, she didn't like to drive long distances so pretty much stuck to around her neighborhood. She would drive across town for appointments for a few years. She continued to drive locally right up to her last illness.

For some years, she liked to go to eat when we visited or she came to see us, but her interest in that lessened the last couple of years.

I can see much of that happening to us over time. We aren't big on travel but do enjoy driving vacations (I don't like flying but will if I have to). I can see in a few years we may not want to do those though (we may still fly though).

Right now, I still feel mostly "normal" although DH is starting to notice that he tires more easily and it takes longer to bounce back. We are fortunate to both be in good health.

We just bought a house that DH vows will be his last house. We did buy it with later years in mind. It is smaller than the other houses we've had. It is one story. Most importantly it is close to amenities. If we wanted to only drive places within, say, 10 minutes we could go to about 90% of the places we would ever want to do. While there isn't public transportation in this area, we would be close in for things like Uber (or whatever exists 20 years from now). Lots of stores (including grocery stores) deliver. So, even if we couldn't drive we could manage just fine right here.

I have thought about what would happen when one of us dies. If I go first, I think DH would just stay here. If DH goes first, I am not sure. This house does have yard/pool maintenance and I wouldn't need as much space. I could see potentially moving at that time.

Most of our hobbies are compatible with increasing age (reading, video games, surfing the internet) so I don't expect much change there.

 

[Nemo2]

DW, approaching 66, and I, approaching 76, figure we'll increase our international travel for as long as we can, then switch to domestic....and then get ready to die......can't be that hard, look how many unqualified people have already done it.

 

[harley]

Despite my previous post, this is actually a great topic. I have no idea where we'll be in 10-20 years, but we spend a lot of time talking about it. Like Imoldernu we're doing the snowbird thing, although not in the CCRC lifestyle. We have a big house in MD, a small but still single family house in SWFL, and a townhouse in NoVA. It feels like we spend all of our time getting houses ready to leave, or pulling them back together after we return. It's getting exhausting.

We're 62 now, and in the next 10 years I think we'd like to move back closer to our kid/grandkids. But to do that we'd have to give up our dream house on the shore and our getting away from winter. It's a hard call. One thing that will enable us to make some changes in our lifestyle will be when our beloved dogs are gone. We've already decided we're not replacing them, and that will make our lives significantly more flexible.

We're still pretty capable as far as taking care of stuff, but I can see the time coming when we either won't be, or really won't want to anymore. We've looked into various 55+ communities, and we've found floorplans we like, locations we like, amenities we like. But never in the same place. And the carrying prices on these places is getting crazy! It's great that they do the yardwork and snow removal and such, but we can certainly find it cheaper on the open market. So we can't decide.

I think it's going to take something happening, a health issue or something to make us come to a decision. It's awfully hard giving up our freedom of choice, but at the same time it's pretty hard maintaining it too. I really appreciate reading posts like the OP, as it gives us a window into what we might expect.

 

[Ronstar]

I have no idea what I'll be doing if or when I get to 80. DW is 64 today. I turn 63 in a month.

We are currently snowbirds, but hopefully I can get DW to move to Arizona full time within 10 years. We should have most of our travel desires taken care of in the next 17 years, so after 80 we can just hunker down. Probably hike and bike less at that age.

 

[braumeister]

I often wonder what life will be like in the future.

I have been looking into the CCRC lifestyle for at least the last 20 years, and have even gone so far as to visit a few of them.

But every time I do, I get the impression that the residents are "old" and therefore "not like me." So I put the idea out of my mind for another few years.

Three years ago, we moved from a SFH to a condo, so we could enjoy the "lock and leave" lifestyle. We both still enjoy travel, and do it as often as we can. The only catch is the cat, and we have been fortunate to have a friend who is happy to cat-sit for us. But the cat is almost 16, so that won't be a problem for too much longer.

I still run (well, more of a gentle jog), kayak, cycle, ski, and hike. DW discovered half-marathons a few years ago and does at least one a month, often several. She doesn't run them, she walks at a brisk pace.

So we're sort of humming along, in our early 70s, but we're very much aware of time passing. At some point we will most likely decide the active life has come to an end. We just have no idea when that will be. So it's one day at a time until then.

 

[REWahoo]

When I saw this on the news I thought about this thread...

A 92-year-old woman [Anna Mae Blessing] shot and killed her son in Fountain Hills on Monday after she refused to be sent to an assisted living facility...

Court records show Blessing had been contemplating her son's intentions to put her in an assisted living facility for several days prior to the Monday morning shooting.

https://www.azcentral.com/story/new...death-refused-move-assisted-living/757009002/

 

[Helena]

.

I might live into my early 80s, but most of my family members have died in their 70s or even earlier. This is why I retired early and took SS at age 62. But I have enough to last me to 100 if God wills it.

 

[DrRoy]

We're only RE'd 1+ years and late 50's, so still early. We travel a good bit and like to hike national parks, carry gear for photography, and go international a good bit. Fairly full schedule during the day on a trip. In 10-20 years, I know we will have to pull back on the energy level of these trips. We cruise some now but would probably do that more since it is physically easier. Maybe full service tours, but I don't like the restrictions that being in a group imposes. We will sure find out at some point.

 

[Oz investor]

When I saw this on the news I thought about this thread...




https://www.azcentral.com/story/new...death-refused-move-assisted-living/757009002/

having seen the aged care facility auntie was left in until she passed on , you have to admire Ms. Biessing's firearm skills at that age

 

[Tree-dweller]

Imoldernu, for me your posts continue to be among the best this forum offers, and I look forward to your future musings. This one is timely as I wrestle with some sudden lingering mobility issues that have me walking like Grandpappy Amos (a Real McCoys reference for the youngsters), and being 1/2 of a couple whose favorite activity is exploring new places on foot, well that’s an unanticipated bummer! I mean, I always expected age would slow me down eventually, just not so suddenly at 65. Like Koolau, I too have those occasional dawnings that some potential onetime bucket list items may be out of reach for a new reason - physical limitations - but then again, others may have become available because I have the money and more importantly time to get to them. Maybe I better put down this tablet and get crackin’. “The Later Years” are here before we know it!

 

[ER Eddie]

80+? Dirt nap. Turning my meat sack in for a refund.

If on the off chance that I manage to survive, I have no idea what I'll be doing. I have enough trouble figuring out what I'll be doing next year.

 

[Bestwifeever]

The best thing we’ve realized in getting older is that stuff is just stuff, and apparently you really can’t take it with you so enjoy what you have, however you choose.

 

[pacergal]

imoldernu--always enjoy your posts.
I hope that at 80+, we are able to look back and say the same thing.

 

[Nemo2]

The best thing we’ve realized in getting older is that stuff is just stuff, and apparently you really can’t take it with you so enjoy what you have, however you choose.

At one point 'stuff' ceases to become a pleasure and morphs into a burden.

 

[Rianne]

At one point 'stuff' ceases to become a pleasure and morphs into a burden.

+1 I used to decorate every Holiday with new touches, added trinkets, cute table decorations, now very little storage space, now, keep redecorating with same stuff.

I cringe at falling for the "buy me" marketing schemes I used to fall for. Some folks in our neighborhood buy ridiculously expensive Halloween, Xmas, Thanksgiving, New Years...oh boy the list goes on. I drive by and take 30 seconds to look and move on.

 

[Ronstar]

At one point 'stuff' ceases to become a pleasure and morphs into a burden.

Luckily my boat was my only "stuff" that became a burden - so I sold it. Hopefully it will be a while before my other stuff becomes a burden.