Tomorrow Is Not Promised

[Car-Guy]

I've certainly lost a lot of friends and family over the years. Some knew it was coming, others went quick.

For me,

When I was 50, I was sure I'd live to 100.
When I was 60, I revised that to 90.
Now that I'm over 70, I hope (maybe) that I can make it to 80.
When/if I get to 75, I'll probably be counting the months.

On the bright side, it sure makes financial planning a lot easier.

 

[Luvtoride]

A very heavy topic and one that has me thinking a lot since I retired 2 weeks ago at age 65.

My younger brother passed away of a sudden massive heart attack, 2 months ago at age 57. He was still working and looking forward to spending time with his young grandchildren. So shocking and sad.

My best friend, died of a stroke/ brain bleed 3 years ago during COVID. He had just sold his 2nd generation family business, less than 2 years earlier and retired. He and his wife had just bought a second home in Florida to enjoy golf and his family.

A longtime work colleague/ friend of mine, died about 3 years ago at age 62, only 1 year after retiring from our company and moving to a lake home in Virginia.

My longest friend, since Jr. High School died suddenly 5 years ago, while in the prime of a successful money management career. We had talked about retirement but neither of us had any planned time frame in mind.

Amethyst, I’m so sorry for your loss. All of these deaths that happen so young and before fully living the next phase of our lives are very sad and keep me thinking about my own mortality and how important keeping myself healthy and being LUCKY is.

True, Tomorrow is not Promised but as many of you on this board have lived by, FIRE and make this next phase of our life, long and enjoyable.

 

[DrRoy]

DW just heard that a close friend from her home town died recently at 62.

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

I just learned that one of my college roommates passed away recently at 59. Unfortunately, I had completely lost touch with him. To make matters worse, it turns out that he settled in the same city I did, and I never knew it.

 

[jazz4cash]

Most have described sudden loss but that is better on many ways than suffering and battling for years in a low quality of life scenario. Likewise my 67 yo BIL had a stroke in Jan and is confined to a wheelchair in a rehab facility. He has no immediate family except an estranged daughter. He was planning to retire this year nut it was going to be tight. His insurance for rehab is not the best. It seems very unlikely he will be able to live independently ever again. .

 

[LateToFIRE]

I've certainly lost a lot of friends and family over the years. Some knew it was coming, others went quick.

For me,

When I was 50, I was sure I'd live to 100.
When I was 60, I revised that to 90.
Now that I'm over 70, I hope (maybe) that I can make it to 80.
When/if I get to 75, I'll probably be counting the months.

On the bright side, it sure makes financial planning a lot easier.

Sounds like my progression, only I'm only at the 60 mark, starting to wonder why I'm running WD plans thru age 90. Like seriously, what are the chances when family history implies 85 max (and that's for the women no less, the men never make it that far). But, I suppose I'll want to be able to afford a new robot body when those become widely available.

 

[Sojourner]

I hope the actuaries are right and then wrong. They say I have 19 years left, I hope they are right, but when I get there, I hope they are wrong!

Reminds me of that saying: Old age is a place where everyone wants to get, but no one wants to be. I was reminded of that very starkly while visiting some memory care facilities recently (for my DF, suffering from advanced dementia). It is heart-wrenching to see what life comes down to at the end for many people.

 

[Birdie Num Nums]

The important thing is to be as prepared as possible for whatever outcome happens. We are at an age where many people around us are leaving and there are small lessons to be learned on what to do and what not to do with estate and end of life planning. After watching people with trusts and wills in place contrasted with people who die with intestate succession (no will requiring probate), for instance, is a wakeup call and affirmation that setting all of this up is absolutely the right thing to do. [snip]

A relatively simple thing to do today, if one hasn't done so already, is to designate beneficiaries (and/or "payable on death" POD) for your bank, mutual fund and brokerage accounts. It doesn't take a trust or will to do that. You can usually do it online. I've done that for mine and, owning no real estate, that takes care of some 90% or more of my assets.

 

[easysurfer]

Reminds me of that saying: Old age is a place where everyone wants to get, but no one wants to be. I was reminded of that very starkly while visiting some memory care facilities recently (for my DF, suffering from advanced dementia). It is heart-wrenching to see what life comes down to at the end for many people.

The variation of that saying I've heard is "Everyone wants to get to heaven but no one wants to get on the bus."

 

[jim584672]

So I should not take Social Security at 70?

 

[TheWizard]

So I should not take Social Security at 70?

If you're likely to be checking out early, then take SS early.
That rhymes, you see...

 

[timbervest]

69 good health no meds can still run around on the soccer field refereeing teenagers. I tell myself I am going to live to be 100 and take care of myself to help achieve that. I make plans to do things (projects, travel, family events, etc.) out over months so I always have something to look forward to. Don't eat too much; Don't drink too much. Spend time with DW DCs and friends. However, I keep aware that things could change in a moment so try to live today fully. You never know.

 

[aja8888]

69 good health no meds can still run around on the soccer field refereeing teenagers. I tell myself I am going to live to be 100 and take care of myself to help achieve that. I make plans to do things (projects, travel, family events, etc.) out over months so I always have something to look forward to. Don't eat too much; Don't drink too much. Spend time with DW DCs and friends. However, I keep aware that things could change in a moment so try to live today fultly. You never know.

Keep it up. I'll be 80 in a few months and my annual physical this week showed all blood work as normal. I'm still playing golf a few days a week, even in this 100 F heat. Only take one med (Tamsulosin) for BHP which is common at my age.

 

[Koolau]

Most have described sudden loss but that is better on many ways than suffering and battling for years in a low quality of life scenario. Likewise my 67 yo BIL had a stroke in Jan and is confined to a wheelchair in a rehab facility. He has no immediate family except an estranged daughter. He was planning to retire this year nut it was going to be tight. His insurance for rehab is not the best. It seems very unlikely he will be able to live independently ever again. .

Just lost a friend this spring who had battled prostate cancer for 15 years. He had some quality of life for a while, but his last few years were kind of brutal. Not what I would choose if the choice were mine. YMMV

 

[Countdown To Freedom]

You Can't Get Back Time

Here are two anecdotes about two former co-workers of mine:

1. A former supervisor of mine couldn't wait to retire at 55, as he would be eligible to collect his pension with employer subsidized health insurance. He even had a "Countdown To Retirement" clock on his computer. He hoarded all his vacation time and left in December 2014, at 54 years, 10 months and officially retired in March 2015, at age 55. Everything was planned to a science. Except when he died unexpectedly of a heart attack in March 2019 at 59.

2. I worked with a woman for 26 years and in three different companies. We were friends. She was older than me-in her late 60s and still working because she didn't want to be home with her husband all day. I asked her when she was going to retire, and she said " When I turn 70". She died of a brain tumor in January 2017 at 69-six months before her 70th birthday.

These two people, whom I think of often, convinced me that if I can get out, to do it sooner rather than later. And so, at age 57, with a 401K and a pension including employer-subsidized health insurance for me and my husband until age 65, I retired in March 2022 and never looked back. My house and both cars are paid off, and although my income dropped by more than 60%, I am much happier, and my blood pressure and cholesterol levels decreased. I have obtained a part-time independent contractor job in my field which is flexible and still keeps my fingers in the pie; have joined a lifetime learning group geared toward people 55+; and travel with my husband who retired from his state job at 55 and also collects a pension. My late former supervisor, when I worked for him, told me numerous times to get out as soon as I could. Best advice he ever gave me.

I have thought about finding another job but as one of my new friends told me, "You can't get back your time. Even if you are just home watching TV, it's YOUR time and YOU are deciding what to do with it. Don't give it away to anyone unless you have to". She's right.

 

[jdnd9091]

I just had a 3 way bypass in May with 100% blockage in the widow maker. It really makes you think in the hear and now. I'm wanting to retire in 20 months when I vest 100% in my stock, but this has me questioning the timeline. It's a pretty good chunk to wait for, but there is no promise I even make it. Luckily I've always made it a priority to vacation and make great memories with the kids and grandkids. For now I'm just enjoying every day I have.

 

[street]

Almost every week I know of one or more people that have passed away under the age 70. It is an eye opener.

I run into a guy I know a year ago or so. He said he was going to work till he had 47 years in the company. He had a year, and some left to go. He wanted to break the record for the longest that one person had worked for this company. I didn't know how to comment on it but on one hand I wished well to make it on the other hand I felt very sorry for the guy.

 

[Souschef]

I am 85. and DW will be 80 in December. Other than a fractured vertebra I did 2 years ago, I am in pretty good health.
My dad lived to 92, and my mom lived to 102. Taking the average, I think I am good to 97.
At our age we have lost so many it is hard to keep track.

 

[jazz4cash]

Clocking 30-35-40 or more years used to be seen as quite an achievement. Then it became an anomaly and now it is viewed negatively in many places. I hope your acquaintance finds meaning outside of their job.

 

[Fermion]

Just turned 53 and so we have been retired for about 8 years now. If I check out at 60 or so, it won't be great but at least I also will not feel cheated out of those retirement years. I did it my way.

I'd like to live to 80 just to see a true Mars landing/start of colony but it isn't a pressing need.

 

[Badger]

My high school has a memorial page, yep, I see too many of my classmates that left us early.
I hope the actuaries are right and then wrong. They say I have 19 years left, I hope they are right, but when I get there, I hope they are wrong!

We had a 57 year class reunion a few months ago that included a memorial video of classmate pictures. I was surprised with the number of classmates now gone. Too many to be so young.

Cheers!

 

[steady saver]

DH and I both retired at 57, 3 years ago. It made sense for us, though we toyed with doing so earlier. I think we made the right decision. Earlier would've not afforded us the opportunities we have now and later would've been dumb for us, esp considering DH wasn't in love with his work and he has a potential inheritable bad gene. I always loved what I was doing and would definitely consider doing some kind of work again, still figuring that out.

Our niece was killed by a drunk driver 9 years ago, at age 19. That changed so much of our thinking about everything. You can plan and plan but you just never know. Plan for the future but enjoy this day more.

 

[Car-Guy]

From my POV, it doesn't matter how much time remains on my life clock, what does matter to me is in that remaining time, that I'm able to physically do for myself, and retain mental competency. Dependence on either from someone else is just not for me.

 

[Dtail]

Retired at 57. DGF was already medically retired.
Would have retired earlier, if I knew retirement type finances earlier.
Now 6 years retired this month and loving it.
I loved my career, but have no contacts from it and like it this way.
We actually been really lucky with no friends passing in their 50's or 60's.

 

[Midpack]

From my POV, it doesn't matter how much time remains on my life clock, what does matter to me is in that remaining time, that I'm able to physically do for myself, and retain mental competency. Dependence on either from someone else is just not for me.

+1. I’m interested in how many quality years I have, not how many I have after, frankly fewer would be better.

My Mom started down the dementia path at age 92 but passed away in her sleep about 9 months later. My Dad lived to 96 but he wasn’t happy the last few years. He wasn’t allowed to drive anymore, couldn’t hear, couldn’t taste, missed his mate. Neither of my parents were happy they lived so long…

There was an article a while back in the Atlantic where the author hoped he’d maintain quality of life to age 75, then die suddenly. The age isn’t the point, but the objective is good.

I don’t put any stock in these life is short, I know someone who died young threads. It happens, but most of us will live long lives and have to plan accordingly. You can’t plan to die young, so it’s anecdotal.