Videoed Attack - A New Kid Thing?

[travelover]

We had a Facetime chat with our grandson yesterday and he told us a tale that I'm still trying to understand.

He is 19 and just broke up with his first real girlfriend. She has been stalking him and he blocked her on his phone and social media. A few days ago, he answered an unknown number and it was her, wanting to pick up some things from his apartment. He agree to meet her in the parking lot of his apartment to return the stuff. When she arrived, her friend jumped out of the car and started videoing him. The ex started hitting him and encouraged him to hit her back, which he did not do. He retreated to his apartment, but is still shaken.

I'm trying to figure out what happened. I've heard of boys beating each other and posting it on the internet. Maybe she wanted him to hit her so she could edit the video and file assault charges? She is from an Albanian family which is quite traditional and I've heard that they have strong honor codes, so maybe that was it? Or maybe just Glenn Close sans rabbit?

Anyone with insight into crazy?

 

[pacergal]

wow. So sorry your GS had this happen. I would certainly contact the police, she sounds potentially dangerous.

 

[RunningBum]

Maybe she wanted him to hit her so she could edit the video and file assault charges?

That would be my guess.

 

[Aerides]

well she's a psycho, he should call the cops to make a report to get it on the record before she tries another stunt.

He of course should never entertain any contact with her again.

 

[jollystomper]

Maybe she wanted him to hit her so she could edit the video and file assault charges?

This is it exactly. It is not "kid" thing. It is a "social media" thing.

Something similar happened to a nephew. In this case (this was before the coronavirus era) a woman he did not know started slapping him on the backside. He kept telling her to stop, but she kept saying "only if you do it back to me", and assuming the position. He had no intention, but did notice someone with a phone holding it towards them as if taping. He discerned they were trying to film him smacking her backside and using it against him.

The general moral of the story is that there are people willing to provoke you into some action, film it, edit it, and use it against you.

 

[candrew]

Local police should be contacted immediately and a report filed. Your grandson should also keep his head on a swivel for a while. And as others have suggested, no more contact with the ex.

 

[atmsmshr]

well she's a psycho, he should call the cops to make a report to get it on the record before she tries another stunt.

He of course should never entertain any contact with her again.

YES

 

[brewer12345]

Might also be time to consider a restraining order and a can of bear mace.

 

[easysurfer]

wow. So sorry your GS had this happen. I would certainly contact the police, she sounds potentially dangerous.

Yeah, that's what I call not social distancing .

 

[Doribe]

Well, the good thing is they broke up.

 

[Chuckanut]

wow. So sorry your GS had this happen. I would certainly contact the police, she sounds potentially dangerous.

+1

At the very least he should report it. the ex-GF does not sound like a person who is constrained by a moral compass.

And be very happy she is not the mother of your great grandchild. That would be tragic.

 

[Walt34]

Maybe she wanted him to hit her so she could edit the video and file assault charges?

That would be my guess but I know nothing of Albanian social or family customs so I guess that could enter into it. I have heard of some people jumping in front of cars about to stop at a traffic light or similar and then feigning injury to attempt a payoff. Perhaps something similar?

That she had a friend taking video first strongly points to that.

It would be good for him if he calls the police (even belatedly) and reports it. This is strictly a CYA move and may help him in the future. Can't hurt.

Avoid all further contact. (Duh, he's probably figured that out already.)

Best of luck to him. He kept his head and didn't fall into the trap.

 

[Sunset]

All the gf would need to do is delete the first part of the video, so it only showed the boy hitting the girl, who of course would fall down crying, and run away....

Public opinion, and police with charge him with assault and he would be convicted as there would be no proof of self defense... He would be branded another woman hating man.

 

[timo2]

Yes, report to the police. Leave a paper trail.

 

[donheff]

Yeah, file a report and start a paper trail. Who knows what step two could be.

 

[audreyh1]

Police report and restraining order!

 

[copyright1997reloaded]

Absolutely agree on police report and restraining order.

A nutcase is a nutcase. Her next step just might be filing a restraining order on HIM, claiming HE is abusive. I know, it isn't true...but remember, a nutcase is a nutcase.

[And a subtle reminder that laws that take away due process rights are dangerous because they assume those laws will only be used legitimately. ]

 

[cooch96]

That would be my guess.

+1 and with over 90% probability. What a trashy stunt to try.

 

[Chuckanut]

FWIW, in my teaching days some HS students would arrange for one student to behave very badly in class provoking the teacher until the teacher lost it. Other students would record the video then post it.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

I have said a few times on this forum that "If everyone in the world was like Teacher Terry, the world would be a better place". There are a bunch of good hearted, nice people on this forum that live a life of doing the right thing.

But that's not what the world is like. The world has lots and lots of Travelers grandsons ex's running around in it.

She wasn't "probably" going to use it to get him arrested (or blackmail him to coming back). Or 90%. She ABSOLUTELY was going to set him up for something, which might have ended up with an arrest for assault, a lifetime criminal record, loss of employment, and expensive attorney fee's. That's why she had it videoed.

Nice people are at ER.org. Plenty of awful people (such as the aforementioned) exist elsewhere. I avoid them.

The young man's mistake was meeting her in person. He should have left the items outside his place, gone to a police station for the exchange, whatever.

Hopefully he learned something from this.

 

[travelover]

...........

The young man's mistake was meeting her in person. He should have left the items outside his place, gone to a police station for the exchange, whatever.

Hopefully he learned something from this.

The kid is 19. I'm going on 68 and have never had anything like this happen to me, though I did have one girlfriend that kind of lost it when we "broke up" and we were not even really a couple. But, thanks for the insight.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

The kid is 19. I'm going on 68 and have never had anything like this happen to me, though I did have one girlfriend that kind of lost it when we "broke up" and we were not even really a couple. But, thanks for the insight.

It hasn't happened to me either. But in our times, we didn't have to concern ourselves with being filmed when someone is baiting us into an assault charge.

What if he hadn't seen the friend doing the videoing? And he tried to restrain the ex and accidentally bruised her?

All it takes is her accusation and video evidence and his goose is cooked. Just like that lives are changed.

 

[Alan]

Thanks for the interesting discussion.