Seven years ago one of my shipmates, Ron, went to a conference in Virginia. On the scenic country road from the hotel to the conference center a deer spooked at his rental car and didn't win the race. It went through the windshield, over the front seat, and into the back where it died of its injuries.
Once the adrenaline wore off and his shakes died down, Ron knew he needed to get himself & the car fixed and to let us know that he'd be submitting a complicated travel claim. So he drove the car, contents & all, to the military base. Of course the gate guards saw a gunshot-damaged & blood-spattered vehicle driven by an officer who'd obviously been assaulted by terrorists, so chaos ensued. Security vehicles & ambulances raced to the gate, which caused a rush-hour backup and some media attention. Eventually everyone calmed down enough to listen to his story. Then the radio reports & message traffic began to fly (hey, it was a slow week there).
Ron has a voice & delivery like Bob Newhart. When he called me I thought he was joking until I realized that I was hearing sirens in the background. He told me he'd been attacked by a deer ("Geez, are you OK?!!"), and said that he'd just been scratched & bruised. Once we all got over our reactions, he was actually looking forward to the reports that had to be filed with the Naval Safety Center and the security authorities. He attended the entire conference and I'm sure the deer's size & points grew with each telling of the tale.
I calmed down, told my boss, and then called our XO to let her know about the impending publicity. The moment I said that his car had hit a deer she blurted out the classic pointy-haired boss response "Is the car damaged?!?" I thought for a few seconds and replied "He's just fine, XO, a few bumps & bruises, thanks for asking." The next thing I heard was "click", followed a few minutes later by a drop-in visit from my boss... of course diplomatic relations didn't improve when our copies of the SITREPs started arriving.
The good news is that he got to keep the antlers (we had them mounted with an award for conference attendance above & beyond the call of duty) and I never had to make a report to the XO ever again...