Weddings for children - how much?

[Texas Proud]

I think $50K is generous. In fact that is what it cost me for my daughter last month. It was a 67 people.

Think about this... that is almost $750 per person!!!

This industry has gotten out of hand IMO... but the advertising works!!!

I like the story of the couple who hired Chili's (IIRC) to cater their wedding and paid like $20 per head...

 

[Yipper]

This will likely not move your needle, as you appear to be very, very generous in this area, but, after paying $60,000 for each daughter's college education (California UC schools), we wrote each daughter a check for $5000 when they announced their respective engagements. The reason is we (I) place way more value on education than a celebration. Plus marriages can be fleeting while educations are forever.

But that's just me/us. You need to do you.

Oh definitely agree re. education. We paid out-of-state tuition at public universities for all three getting only the minimum loans in their names. They all started paying their loans upon graduation and a few years post graduation, we reassessed our financial position and decided getting the balance of those loans "off their books" would help free up money for savings for more important things like a house.

 

[Sittinginthesun]

Weddings are a giant waste of money. We paid for 90% of the cost of ours with a small donation from each set of parents that barely covered the cost for their guests. We did spend a ton on our amazing three week honeymoon and I still consider that money better spent. My kids are not even close to getting married and I could afford to pay a large amount when they do one day but hope they will choose to have a moderate cost affair but an extravagant honeymoon somewhere special.

 

[athena53]

Think about this... that is almost $750 per person!!!

This industry has gotten out of hand IMO... but the advertising works!!!

If the dress was included in the amount that could really increase the per-person calculation. One of my guilty pleasures when I'm around a TV that carries cable (I don't have it at home) is "Say Yes to the Dress". Mind-boggling prices. For one day.

 

[retire48in2018]

We gifted the same $xx k to our son and daughter. If they go over that’s on them, if under - they pocket it. We did not differentiate on son bs daughter.

our daughter (and SIL) worked a budget to match the gift +/-. Our son is marrying someone who has always dreamed of weddings and will spend everything that she can - from us, her parents and what each of them earns/saves.

I’m happy to have given a gift, upfront, no strings attached

 

[retire48in2018]

We chose an amount that was close to median cost in our area for what we would have considered a normal size.

As a note - for our wedding, way back when, I had to pay for all of it - no one else contributed. My wife-to-be was extraordinarily prudent on stretching those dollars.

 

[aja8888]

Think about this... that is almost $750 per person!!!

This industry has gotten out of hand IMO... but the advertising works!!!

I like the story of the couple who hired Chili's (IIRC) to cater their wedding and paid like $20 per head...

I hired a local BBQ place to cater my daughter's wedding with 100+ guests. They put on a fantastic spread for under $20/person. And all the leftover BBQ was packaged up for me to take home and freeze.

 

[perez99]

If the dress was included in the amount that could really increase the per-person calculation. One of my guilty pleasures when I'm around a TV that carries cable (I don't have it at home) is "Say Yes to the Dress". Mind-boggling prices. For one day.

Yes, it included everything. There was also a dinner the day before for out of state guest flying in for the weeding. They were about 2/3 of all guest.
As I said to the OP, I think the amount was generous

 

[rodi]

24 years ago my husband and I got hitched - paying for it mostly ourselves. Dad gave me $3k.

Wedding was in San Diego, on a bluff over the ocean. location, free. Pastor $75. Chair rental for guests around $400. Total guests 20. Went to 'brunch' with included champagne in the side room of a beach front venue and spent < $500 including tip. (Ordered off the menu). My sister threw a small party in her backyard later and mom provided the cake.

Mom and dad ordered pizza at their house the night before for the rehearsal. Since I was making my own bouquet/corsages/boutonnieres I was busy wrapping the rose stems and putting it all together. (Spent $100 on fresh roses.)

My best friend made my dress - but since we lived in different states, I had it adjusted after she sent it to me, which cost $80. Her wedding gift was the dress (fabric/labor). I made my own veil with stuff from Michaels. We made our own invitations.

We flew from Philly (where we lived) to San Diego for the wedding, then to Maui for the honeymoon.

All in the wedding, travel, honeymoon was less than $5k.

But since DH's family was in Philly - we held a 'celebration' a month later at a local catering hall. We made it clear that this was NOT a wedding. They charged $35/person for non weddings, and $75/person if it was a wedding reception. They tried to change it to wedding prices and we fought them... I even showed them pictures of the actual wedding to prove this wasn't the wedding. We had 90 people at this second reception/celebration.

Weddings can be a scam. The caterer did a great job - but I don't see why the same food, in the same hall, with the same linens is $40 more for a wedding.

All in we were about $8k. Both the wedding and the celebration were fun. I learned how to make a corsage and a hand tied rose bouquet.

We have sons that ,theoretically, will get married sometime in the future. We'll pay for the rehearsal dinner and whatever else is typical. Younger son's girlfriend comes from money and are fancy. I suspect we'll have to pony out at least $10k towards the wedding. Older son is much more frugal and tends to date more salt of the earth women.... We'll see what happens.