over-zealous mall security

[steve88]

You could have waited for him to walk away and tell you friend your encounter with an idiot. What do you expect when someone hear you call him an idiot?

 

[Westernskies]

I think you should have been taken into a back room had your head wrapped in a towel and then beaten with a phone book. But, that's just me.

No, dex, that's not just you.

 

[HFWR]

Yes, this was definitely a situation that required violence...

 

[Dawg52]

Well I can see myself having a moment where I might stretch out a leg on a bench in a mall. Particularly if I'm on the phone and not thinking about how relaxed I might look. And I could see myself getting embarrassed and pissed if a security guard were to single me out in this situation. So I can understand how the OP might make such a comment while in this frame of mind. Maybe inappropriate, but I understand.

So I would write the mall owner and explain exactly what took place.

 

[samclem]

Usually, I'd recommend a letter since it's easier/more convenient for the mall owner to take action using a letter. In this case, I'd recommend a phone call. That will give you an opportunity to get a measure of the mall manager and him of you. If he doesn't ask you why you referred to one of his employees as an idiot, then you'll know he's only interested in making nice to get you off the phone. He's also not the kind of strong person who confronts rudeness directly when he comes into contact with it. And, if he doesn't have this discussion with you, he won't have enough information to effectively approach his employee, get his story, and provide the guidance the employee needs in order to be more courteous and effective next time.

 

[Westernskies]

Thanks for the vote of confidence, but what do you think I should do ?

1. Letter to mall owner.
2. Letter to business owners.
3. Letter to local newspaper.
4. Get over it.
5. Other.
6. All of the above.
7. None of the above.

8. Apologize

 

[SarahW]

So the guy was doing his job and you refer to him as an idiot within earshot? I agree with Westernskies...you owe the security guard an apology.

And for those of you advising to contact mall management...um, why? As the story was related, the guard was DOING HIS JOB. Sheesh.

 

[BunsGettingFirm]

Apparently you're not alone:

Officer delayed Moats as relative died

Police officer delays Ryan Moats of Houston Texans in hospital parking lot as family member dies - ESPN

 

[tmm99]

OK, calling someone an idiot within earshot was probably not a good idea. BUT, depending upon my moods/circumstances, I might take offense in the way the security guard might have approached me. I would have much more appreciated the security guard if he asked me if I was OK because maybe my back was out from walking funny or when I bent over suddenly, or maybe I was having cramps and I needed to lie like that until Advil took effect or my blood pressure is high or WHATEVER. And after making sure I didn't need any assistance, explain to me that they have this problem with people sleeping on the mall bench or whatever. I don't know how much money he was being paid, but common courtesy toward another fellow human doesn't hurt. Maybe he has been having a lousy day, I don't know.

If it makes you feel better, write to the mall saying a little more courtesy/common sense approach needs to be considered from the management point of view.

tmm

 

[samclem]

OK, calling someone an idiot within earshot was probably not a good idea. BUT, depending upon my moods/circumstances, I might take offense in the way the security guard might have approached me. I would have much more appreciated the security guard if he asked me if I was OK because maybe my back was out from walking funny or when I bent over suddenly, or maybe I was having cramps and I needed to lie like that until Advil took effect or my blood pressure is high or WHATEVER. And after making sure I didn't need any assistance, explain to me that they have this problem with people sleeping on the mall bench or whatever.

The OP said he was talking on the cell phone when this happened. The security guard might have thought it was more courteous to minimize the disruptive discussion rather than engage in a therapy session right on the spot.

If that was his thinking, I think the guard would have been right.

 

[tmm99]

If that was his thinking, I think the guard would have been right.

It's all speculation at this point... ;->

 

[harley]

Personally, I'd have probably started talking loudly to myself, and then peed in one of the potted plants. Then I'd have made them drag me out while I went limp and cried and cussed at them. I mean, if you're going to get thrown out of the mall, might as well make it entertaining. You might even have made onto Youtube.

But that's just me.

 

[tmm99]

then peed in one of the potted plants.

Why didn't I think of that!

tmm

 

[RustyShackleford]

Thank you everyone, it has been a treat to check back in and read your replies.

Guy probably catches flack all the time. Being called an idiot probably set him off.

People calling staff idiots is a bad atmosphere ...

OK you're right, you call him an idiot and you want to write a letter to his boss.

... you call him an idiot?

OK, calling someone an idiot

How much clearer do I have to make it that I DID NOT CALL HIM AN
IDIOT (i.e. "You idiot !", or "hey, idiot" ) I referred to him in the
third person, to explain to my friend why we were interrupted; AFTER
I had complied with the security guard's reasonable request to sit up.
I did not raise my voice (i.e. "THIS IDIOT"). Seriously, please believe me.

I particularly want to thank YOU guys:

I think you should have been taken into a back room had your head wrapped in a towel and then beaten with a phone book. But, that's just me.

No, dex, that's not just you.

I mean, seriously, you think a person ought to be beaten, under sanction
of law, for referring to someone as an "idiot" within their earshot ?
I'm sorry, that you hold our Constitution, for which so many have died
and so many continue to serve bravely to defend, in so little regard.
(I love you guys).

And finally:

Truthfully I think you should walk away and let it go. Try walking in this guys shoes for a day and any of us may have reacted the same. This mall cop is at the low end of the food chain with crappy duties and crappy pay so why add more crap to his pile. Who knows what has gone on in his life that caused him to act the way he did towards you. Should he have spoken to you the way he did - probably not. However in the big picture of life does it really matter. With everything going on in the world today I wouldn't figure getting upset over something trivial is not a productive use of your time or energy. Mark it down to experience and move on.

Your response contains more wisdom than all the other combined (mine included), and I shall take it to heart !

 

[dex]

Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ? Author

 

[Dawg52]

Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ? Author

So true.

 

[tomintucson]

This is a really interesting thread. At first, I thought it was a joke. A man makes a demeaning comment about another man within earshot, and then comes to this board and recounts the incident without shame, seemingly asking us for validation of his inappropriate and condescending behavior. Then many of the responders offer up said validation on a silver platter. Action is proposed which could cost a man his job. All because someone was behaving badly by lying down in a place of business, or semi-reclining, or whatever it is he claims, then had his ego bruised, then lashed out with an insult, and was dealt the consequences.

I had a mother and a grandmother who taught me to be polite and respectful towards others, regardless of their social rank. (We were really poor, so our social rank wasn't very high either...) I'm thinking that most of the people reading this were also fortunate enough to have the same lessons about manners and dignity taught to them. Sometimes I mess up, and act out my own insecurities or fears in responding inappropriately to others. I feel ashamed, and resolve to do better in the future. There is a lot of stress, and just plain meanness, in our world today. It's no way to live. I'm hoping we can all try to do better in the future.

Tom

 

[steve88]

I wonder if the OP would have done the same if the security guard was a UFC fighter moonlighting as a security guard?

 

[Westernskies]

Let's see...

1. You were lying on a bench in a public place.

2. Jeans and a tee- shirt in a " high-end boutique mall". ie probably not really dressed for your surroundings.

3. Just hangin' out and talking on your cell phone (i.e. loitering, not shopping)

4. A minimum- wage security guard , having just been briefed about the importance of keeping the riff-raff out of this aspiring upscale boutique mall, approaches you to let you know that lying on the benches is not allowed.

5. Instead of reacting appropriately, ie "I'm sorry sir, I was " "unaware of the rule", "just waiting for my girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/sister/brother ", "worked a double shift last night",
"not feeling well", "sleeping off a hangover" (take your pick) you lash out and call him an idiot. (yes, telling the person you were talking to that he is an idiot within his earshot is the same thing.)

6. You get thrown out of the mall (love this part!)

7. By your own account the security guard was polite, but firm. You were called out for acting inappropriately for your surroundings. Good for him. Now you want to ruin this guy's life because he did his job professionally.

8. You want him disciplined (read:fired) from his crappy job as a mall security guard. That'll show him not to mess with you, Rusty Shackleford!

9. When he loses his minimum-wage job after your one-man crusade for justice and the resulting inquisition from mall management, remember that you and the rest of the taxpaying citizens will probably wind up paying for his unemployment/retraining/welfare, since entry-level jobs are few and far between these days.

10. Your behavior and response was inappropriate. You got called out for it. Get over it.

11. One final thought- please let us know which mall; it would be nice to go shopping in a place that had concientious security staff, people were dressed appropriately, and lying around on the furniture yakking on cell phones was not tolerated. Sounds like my kind of mall, I'd like to see them succeed.

...but that's just me.

 

[bbbamI]

Personally, I'd have probably started talking loudly to myself, and then peed in one of the potted plants. Then I'd have made them drag me out while I went limp and cried and cussed at them. I mean, if you're going to get thrown out of the mall, might as well make it entertaining. You might even have made onto Youtube.

But that's just me.

Ok...now everybody, inhale slowly....exhale....ohmmmm

 

[RustyShackleford]

Never argue with an idiot. They bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ? Author

Excellent advice, which I shall apply immediately.

 

[eridanus]

Wait, you're not a teenager? And you got thrown out of a mall?

Does this bring back bad memories?

 

[harley]

Seriously, everybody needs to take a chill pill. I suspect most everyone defending the security guard would have reacted fairly similarly to Rusty if being hassled by a rent-a-cop in a mall. Nobody likes to be bothered when they are minding their own business. I used to be (a long time ago in a galaxy far far away) a mall security guard. Most of them are wannabe cops or (like me) students looking for an income that doesn't involve actual work.

I've read enough posts from almost everyone in this thread to know that many are being sanctimonious for whatever reason. At the same time Rusty probably didn't do everything perfectly, but I can guarantee that if his posts are accurate he handled the situation better than I would have. My previous post was sarcasm, but I'd have needed to be shown the "No Slouching on Bench" sign before I'd have put up with him. My sitting habits, clothing, personal phone conversations, etc are not available for comment by a security guard in a mall. If he'd have pushed it I'd have demanded to see the mall manager, and made the guard bring him to me. This is not a group of punks skateboarding through the stores, it's an adult sitting on a bench. And you can sermonize all you want, but I doubt most of you would have handled it any better than Rusty did, although probably better than I would. So there.

And if the guard was a UFC champ I'd probably done the same. I don't watch that stuff, and am mostly comfortable in my ability to defend my self. I've been wrong before. And I'm sure I've been thrown out of better malls than that one.

 

[RustyShackleford]

Thanks, Harley. Actually, I looked at the mall "rules" (yes, this mall has a
rule sheet posted) and one is "no sleeping on benches", which it's clear I wasn't
doing since I was talking (unless I was talking in my sleep on my cell phone,
hmm...) There's also a rule against loitering, and perhaps that was my original
offense.

Anyhow, yes, I should have challenged the guy (what rule exactly was I breaking ?,
and I wasn't talking to him when I made my comment), and my failure to do so was
due to a combination of not thinking fast enough and being mainly interested in
continuing my phone conversation without further harassment.

One thing I agree with the law&order contingent on is that I should get over it.

There's just a nagging feeling that I have some duty to the store owners, in particular
the one about which I have very positive feelings (have enjoyed hospitality of the
owners home and good friends work there) to let them know that there's a little
Barney Fife wandering around bothering potential customers. As it is, part of me
wants to just say "screw it, I'll go buy my $200 item online for about 25% less ..."

 

[RustyShackleford]

Wait, you're not a teenager? And you got thrown out of a mall?

You are correct, sir.

Does this bring back bad memories?

My friend got thrown out of a concert for tossing his empty
plastic beer cup at another friend. I think he should have
been taken into a back room, had his head wrapped in a towel,
and been beaten with a phone book. But that's just me.