i was raised by the most authentically enthusiastic woman on the planet and for the first 14 years by a depressed dad and after that by my stepfather who truly appreciated, admired and adopted mom's outlook in life.
mom never liked to cook so we ate out a lot. but every meal was the best meal she ever had. every swim was the best swim she'd ever known. every day was the best day of her life. none of my friends or family could count how many times she said "isn't this great!" or "this is fantastic!" her smile lit up the room; her laughter filled the room & infected everyone.
she had a tough life. her mom was a manic depressive who didn't always function well and would eventually commit suicide so mom was in charge of raising her mother's family from when she was just a little kid. she used to hold dinner parties for family and give her mother credit for doing the work. she used to take her younger brother into the bathroom to clean him up when he had an accident. she matured quickly but never let go of the child inside.
mom also battled her own manic depression but she was determined to live a happy life. she embraced norman vincent peale's "power of positive thinking" (after which one of their boats was named--call sign pappa pappa tango). she tried meditation and worked on herself throughout her life with psychologists and psychiatrists to assure she kept on track. so successful was she in structuring her own attitude in life that she was able to ride through the majority of even the deteriorating effects of alzheimer's later in life with such dignity and grace and yes, still that smile and humor.
possibly in rebellion to the generation preceding me, i never bought into all that positive stuff. i consider myself more of a realist. as much as i loved my mother's attitude, i also recognize that i've had a few crummy meals. but i'm ok with that. it's just a meal and it doesn't ruin my day. i've mentioned before and it remains true that a colleague of mine once described me as living with my "head in a rainbow colored cloud." i like to think of myself as an optimist in the long run. but i tend to be pretty critical between here and there.
one of the greatest lessons mom taught me in watching how she lived her life is that regardless of what hardships we experience, our experiences don't have to affect who we are. we are less what we experience and more how we experience.
with that i have been able to endure so much loss knowing that i had so much to lose and how great is that. to have known so many amazing people. so even the pain of losing them reminds me to be happy and appreciative in life. isn't this fantastic!