Do You Like Living Alone?

[Teacher Terry]

Having been married 3 times starting at 18 I only have lived alone for 18 months after my second divorce. My kids were grown and I really enjoyed it. Everything was neat and clean, no compromises, etc. Fast forward to now I have been living with my third husband for 23 years. I am really looking forward to living alone again. My mom also enjoyed it once my dad died. My single friends love it. So what do you like or dislike about living alone?

 

[ShokWaveRider]

I would get a Lodger, preferably a friend. I have never lived alone and never intend to.

 

[Aerides]

I lived alone for a while, I liked it. I think there are a whole lot of plusses. For someone very social, it's important to plan visits with friends, harder now of course, but easier by year end let's hope.

In your shoes, I'd give it at least a year to two before you decide if you like it or not.

Living alone is always preferable to living with the less-than-ideal housemate or partner.

 

[Sunset]

I'm trying to figure out what the definition is, so I can decide if I ever lived alone ?

If I have a girlfriend and she comes over and sometimes sleeps over at my place am I living alone ?
I think I have called this living alone, as I spent a year or two by myself in the house unless I invited someone over.

If I go to a northern island by myself for a month to work in the cold, so DW does not visit, am I living alone ?
I never considered this living alone, as it was planned to be only for a month, yet nobody else was around.

• I like having another person around, even though it means I have to do things for that person.
• I like that that person does things for me.
• I like someone to talk to, to discuss things.
• I find cooking for just me, nearly waste of time as I'd rather save the hour and the mess and just BBQ some meat & vegies and be done.

The girlfriend vs DW examples happened at different times in my life

 

[O2Bfree]

I always loved living alone. As you said, neat and clean with no compromises. No wasting energy on the mental score keeping I sometimes get into with a partner. No being annoyed about necessary tasks that I would just do myself right away if someone else hadn't said, "Don't stress, I'll do it," and then put off.

I also like sleeping alone. So much so that I've considered suggesting to DH that we sleep in separate bedrooms. People snore and make other noises, and I'd rather not hear that or think about how the other person has to hear me.

Teacher Terry, I'm a little envious of the sigh of relief coming your way when you get your own place again!

 

[Digger1000]

Life long 55 year old bachelor here. Love living alone. But I would be in favor of finding the right woman to marry. I'm very happy either way.

 

[W2R]

I am really looking forward to living alone again. My mom also enjoyed it once my dad died. My single friends love it. So what do you like or dislike about living alone?

I *LOVE* living alone! I can have things the way that I want them, within my own house.

Here are a very few of the uncountably many advantages:
1. No compromises needed.
2. I can fiddle with the thermostat all that I want.
3. No need to do somebody else's stinky laundry.
4. No need to cook something that I really don't want for dinner.
5. If I want to stay up until 5 AM playing my video game, I don't even get a raised eyebrow.
6. No loss of sleep due to snoring.
7. Nobody is using the shower (or has used up all the hot water) when I want to take a shower.
8. I can play whatever music I want to hear, or hear total silence if I'd rather, without having to run that by anybody.
9. Along those lines, no need to be considerate.
10. Everything is exactly the way I want it to be. If I want to put a picture on the wall I just DO it and don't have to ask anybody first. It's my castle and I love it. Frank loves this aspect too; he says his whole house is his "man cave" and he loves not being nagged to pick stuff up off the floor, and so on. I love not having to do the nagging.

Here are the only disadvantages I can think of:
1. It costs more, since you share costs when you share a house. Plus, I hire a handyman to do the "guy stuff" that I don't know how to do, and that costs (surprisingly little!) money.
2. ? can't think of any other disadvantages.

 

[Mr. Tightwad]

58 year old bachelor.

Does living with my daughter disqualify me from living alone status?

 

[Sojourner]

Here are the only disadvantages I can think of:
1. It costs more, since you share costs when you share a house. Plus, I hire a handyman to do the "guy stuff" that I don't know how to do, and that costs (surprisingly little!) money.
2. ? can't think of any other disadvantages.

I would add this disadvantage: There is no one around to call 911 for you—or provide immediate medical assistance—if you fall and crack your skull or collapse from a heart attack, stroke, etc.

Having said that, I certainly agree with many of the advantages listed. I've lived alone for long stretches of my life and have been quite content most of that time. Living full-time with DGF for well over a year now and am also very happy with this arrangement.

 

[omni550]

58 year old bachelor.

Does living with my daughter disqualify me from living alone status?

Yes.


omni

 

[Marathoner]

I also love living alone!

I went from living with my parents, to having roommates during college, then to married right away after college, so had never lived alone until I was 33 years old; have been living alone 9 years now.

I do have an SO of 5+ years - we each have our own place and spend a few nights/week together.

I love it!

I love the freedom and ability to do whatever I want. Puzzle covering the dining room table? Check! Treadmill in the living room? Yes! I know the food I bought is still going to be in the fridge. I can make all decorating/renovation decisions about what works best for me. Have an audiobook going nearly constantly.

I really can't think of any downsides for me. I did have a friend move in with me for a few months after her breakup and that was enough time cohabitating to realize how much i love living alone! (Might be different with a romantic partner, and who knows what the future will bring for me, but right now I am loving my solo home life!)

 

[MarieIG]

I had wanted to "live alone" after college, but never did so, as I got married.

My grandmothers appeared to enjoy living alone.

 

[Jerry1]

The girlfriend vs DW examples happened at different times in my life

Thanks for clearing that up.

 

[ER Eddie]

Yes. I love it. I've always been inclined to it. When married, I felt like I was living someone else's life -- as if I was "meant" to live alone, not as part of a family. That's not to say anything negative about families. I just prefer living alone.

The list of reasons is very long. At the top of the list is freedom. The freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want, at your own pace, without checking with or coordinating with anyone else, without taking anyone else's needs or desires into account -- just doing whatever you feel like, for as long as you feel like, then switching to the next thing you feel like. Some people like a lot of freedom in their lives and feel very "itchy" when they feel constrained or have others in their space. I'm very much that sort of person.

There are many upsides to being single and flying solo. I would be here all day listing them, if I started, so I won't.

It may take a little time to get used to it, though. After so many years coupled, a person's identity becomes tied to that. When it's just you, it can be disorienting at first. There can be a feeling of lostness or loneliness. The challenge and opportunity is to discover who you are apart from the marriage -- what matters to you, what interests you, what are your core values and convictions -- and start to forge a new life (or rediscover an old one) out of that.

Bella DePaulo has this phrase, "single at heart," which she uses to describe people who live their best life single and have always gravitated to that lifestyle. Other people have singlehood thrust upon them. Some do well with it, and some don't. In a way, it's a lot like retirement. Some people love the freedom, and they do great. And some don't.

I wish you well.

p.s. I live with a dog. I would not like to live completely alone or without a dog in my life. I find that having one dog is enough to provide me all the live-in companionship I need.

 

[ATX78701]

Lived alone the majority of my adult life. I liked the ease that i can be up as late as I want without disturbing another person or likewise go to bed or nap when i want and not worry about another’s schedule. The one drawback i have is when sick. A couple of months ago ordered takeout lasagna from a place and got food poisoning. Luckily my neighbors were willing to walk to the store and get me some supplies. With a SO or a roommate that would have been easier.

 

[Music Lover]

Having said that, I certainly agree with many of the advantages listed. I've lived alone for long stretches of my life and have been quite content most of that time. Living full-time with DGF for well over a year now and am also very happy with this arrangement.

I'm in the same situation as you...I lived alone for many years and my GF has now lived with me for over a year too. For me, the disadvantages of living with someone are far outweighed by the advantages.

That being said, living alone is better than living with someone less than ideal.

 

[Sojourner]

I live with a dog. I would not like to live completely alone or without a dog in my life. I find that having one dog is enough to provide me all the live-in companionship I need.

+1

If I ever faced the prospect of living alone again, I definitely would adopt a dog (or two). Living completely alone is not something I would want to go back to, and I believe it's been shown that living with a pet improves both physical and mental health in most people.

 

[scrabbler1]

While I have a ladyfriend who lives nearby and spends some time with me overnight at my place, as I do at her place nearby, I have lived alone for the last 34 years (I am 57). Being a loner at heart, despite having had my current ladyfriend (who works FT) for the last 16 years, I like living alone. It's nice and quiet, I come and go as I please, and I am in control over everything here.

Being an early retiree only helps. Back in my full-time working days, I spent very little time at home and awake, so I was around plenty of people either at my job or during the long, tiring commute on public transit (trains). Economic freedom + personal freedom is an awesome combination.

I remember when I rented my first apartment in late 1986. I had never lived alone before, for anything more than a month earlier in the year. I either lived with family or had a roommate (in an apartment or college dorm). I so looked forward to it. It was on the second floor of a single-family house, so other people lived below me. I owned my own car, so I had some mobility, too (unlike earlier in the year).

 

[RunningBum]

I like it too. Probably the best part is that after being around people, I can come home and recharge however I need to, for however long I need to.

 

[aaronc879]

I significantly prefer living alone. That may change later in life when I could use some help but until then I plan to stay living alone as long as possible.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Thanks for all the responses. I should mention that I will be living with my two very spoiled Maltese). I wish our market wasn’t so hot as it is taking much longer to get and close loans then usual. We are living in the same house and getting along fine but I am anxious to have my own place and start my new life.

 

[garyt]

I've lived alone and liked it but I think you need to quantify it. When I lived alone I was single and had girl friends and being younger lots of guy friends too. So I was out doing things alot and going home to an empty house was great.
Now if you're talking about an older senior who maybe doesn't get out much, I think living alone would be Hell. My Dad is 96 and lives alone and I know he's really bored. I go over a couple times a day and spend several hours with him but there's still a lot of lonely times.

 

[Amethyst]

I'm good at being a wife, but would not enjoy sharing living quarters with someone who does not love me. Edit: by that I mean room-mates, lodgers, or Henry With A Toothbrush.

 

[street]

I don't know if I would do well living alone now as I age. I haven't lived alone for over 40 years and then I was young had so many friends it was nice to live alone then.

I would miss the partnership and companionship of my wife in every aspect of life. Even thou, I enjoy doing so many outdoor activities alone I would miss living alone.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

I *LOVE* living alone! I can have things the way that I want them, within my own house.

Here are a very few of the uncountably many advantages:
1. No compromises needed.
2. I can fiddle with the thermostat all that I want.
3. No need to do somebody else's stinky laundry.
4. No need to cook something that I really don't want for dinner.
5. If I want to stay up until 5 AM playing my video game, I don't even get a raised eyebrow.
6. No loss of sleep due to snoring.
7. Nobody is using the shower (or has used up all the hot water) when I want to take a shower.
8. I can play whatever music I want to hear, or hear total silence if I'd rather, without having to run that by anybody.
9. Along those lines, no need to be considerate.
10. Everything is exactly the way I want it to be. If I want to put a picture on the wall I just DO it and don't have to ask anybody first. It's my castle and I love it. Frank loves this aspect too; he says his whole house is his "man cave" and he loves not being nagged to pick stuff up off the floor, and so on. I love not having to do the nagging.

Here is a contrarian point of view, why I would hate living alone, here are the disadvantages. No particular order.

1) I do not have to have a dog for company (Advantage)
2) No one to do my washing
3) No one to cook for me
4) No one to do the clean up gardening, we have a Landscaper but there is always something
5) No one to clean the house, All of it.
6) No one to change the bed
7) No one to darn, fix or take up my clothing
8) No one to make nice crafty things that brighten up the home
9) No one to write letters and fill in forms for me (I hate doing that)
10) No one to get me from the Hospital after a procedure
11) No one to accompany me when I go shopping
12) No one to help me and bring me tools when I am fixing things around the house.
13) No one to clean the fridge
14) No one to help me carry stuff if it is too heavy for one person
15) No one to look after the house plants, Cacti and Orchids
16) No one to take the garbage and recycling out

17) No one to just "Be There" to gaze at on occasion
18) No one to kiss me randomly throughout the day (and night)
19) No one to say good morning and good night to
20) No one to keep me warm on cold nights
21) No one to share the good times with
22) No one to share the bad times with
23) No one to help choose my clothes
24) No one to chat to at random
25) No one to Paint the house and trim
26) No one to share things with

I could go on and on.