Do You Like Living Alone?

[MrsHaloFIRE]

Having lived alone during deployments: cooking meals for one sucks, and you have to do absolutely everything with no help (physical or intellectual). However still preferable to living with undesirable person

 

[skipro33]

If I had lived alone, I would not have made to the age I am now. I tend to hurt myself. A lot. Once rolled a car off ramps onto my hand. Pinned for hours until my wife got home from shopping. Who knows how long I would have been there if she wasn't around. Fell off a roof once. Blew up something on the work bench and set myself on fire.. etc...
Sometimes 911 is just not possible to dial.

 

[Marita40]

I've lived alone most of my adult life and would have a hard time living with someone else at this point. When I visit someone or have overnight visitors, I usually can't wait until I can get back to being by myself. My reasons are similar to the list W2R posted, but they come down to the desire for independence. You adjust to any circumstance in your life--we all do. Learn to do things or hire them out if you can't or don't want to do them.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Luckily I have a big friend group so lots of people to do things with plus I am fine doing some things alone. Being in a condo I won’t have to worry about maintenance, etc. After doing most everything for 2 people I am looking forward to just taking care of me. I like to entertain and cook for company so will be doing that when we are all vaccinated.

 

[Walt34]

When I was single, I liked being single and living alone. When I was married, I liked being married. As outlined by others there are advantages and disadvantages to each lifestyle. Evidently I like being married more, as evidenced by the fact that I've married twice. I think after 31 years though the second one is going to stick.

 

[Amethyst]

It is high time we had robots to do this stuff.

Here is a contrarian point of view, why I would hate living alone, here are the disadvantages. No particular order.

1) I do not have to have a dog for company (Advantage)
2) No one to do my washing
3) No one to cook for me
4) No one to do the clean up gardening, we have a Landscaper but there is always something
5) No one to clean the house, All of it.
6) No one to change the bed
7) No one to darn, fix or take up my clothing
9) No one to write letters and fill in forms for me (I hate doing that)
10) No one to get me from the Hospital after a procedure
11) No one to accompany me when I go shopping
12) No one to help me and bring me tools when I am fixing things around the house.
13) No one to clean the fridge
14) No one to help me carry stuff if it is too heavy for one person
15) No one to look after the house plants, Cacti and Orchids
16) No one to take the garbage and recycling out


23) No one to help choose my clothes
24) No one to chat to at random
25) No one to Paint the house and trim


I could go on and on.

 

[Ronstar]

I used to like living alone, but that was 40 years ago when I was working.

I can’t imagine living alone while retired. I’d either be on a cross country solo hike, scaling Mt Everest, or crossing the pacific in a sailboat.

Probably a good thing that I’m married to a woman who says no to these things. Living with DW has kept me alive while living alone might not have.

 

[rodi]

Haven't done it since I got married - but I remember enjoying it.

Since I have young adults and a husband sharing my house... I cherish the time when I'm actually alone (except the dog) in the house. It's rare. When I say cherish - I mean truly enjoy, look forward to, and look back fondly on those rare times.

 

[Nemo2]

DW & I simultaneously complement & counterbalance each other. We each have our strengths, and when I say 'each' I mean her, I have none.

When we met, (18 years ago later this year), she was quite reserved, (a competent, self-described computer geek), and now she'll initiate conversations in a myriad of venues.

Me, I'm more like a cab driver, I'll chat to someone when they're in the vehicle, and forget them before they've even closed the door at their destination.

Neither of us likes to be where the other isn't, and apart from the absence of travel, which I introduced her to...(hey I have to get some credit), the Covid shutdowns haven't really affected our lives.

We couldn't envision life without the other, and we [-]like[/-] love it that way.

 

[O2Bfree]

If I had lived alone, I would not have made to the age I am now. I tend to hurt myself. A lot. Once rolled a car off ramps onto my hand. Pinned for hours until my wife got home from shopping. Who knows how long I would have been there if she wasn't around. Fell off a roof once. Blew up something on the work bench and set myself on fire.. etc...
Sometimes 911 is just not possible to dial.

Tim the Tool Man Taylor, is that you?

 

[Philliefan33]

I haven't lived alone for a long time (happily married for 33 years), but I think I would be happy living alone if DH kicks the bucket before me. I get a taste of living alone in the summer, when I relocate to our lake house but DH goes back and forth between the houses. Those few days a week when I'm alone at the lake house are very relaxing. Like others have written, it's nice to do what I want when I want.

I sleep better alone. I haven't mentioned that to DH because it would hurt his feelings, and he has told me that he does not sleep well when we are not together.

 

[Dtail]

I was alone for awhile after my divorce and didn't mind it.
Living with my DGF now is better though.

 

[sergio]

I like living alone in short bursts. Sometimes when we visit my wife's family in China, she'll fly out first with the kids, then I go a few weeks later, then we all come back together a month or so later.

The first week is relaxing, I spend the second week fixing all the stuff around the house that I've been putting off, maybe do some painting. By the end of week 3 I start to miss her and the kids. TBH I'd find it hard to live alone again, I can't even imagine doing it retired in older age unless I had a very wide social net or tons of family around (which we don't).

 

[ER Eddie]

If I had lived alone, I would not have made to the age I am now. I tend to hurt myself. A lot. Once rolled a car off ramps onto my hand. Pinned for hours until my wife got home from shopping. Who knows how long I would have been there if she wasn't around. Fell off a roof once. Blew up something on the work bench and set myself on fire.. etc...

Yes, some people do need adult supervision.

 

[Koolau]

If I had lived alone, I would not have made to the age I am now. I tend to hurt myself. A lot. Once rolled a car off ramps onto my hand. Pinned for hours until my wife got home from shopping. Who knows how long I would have been there if she wasn't around. Fell off a roof once. Blew up something on the work bench and set myself on fire.. etc...
Sometimes 911 is just not possible to dial.

I would add this disadvantage: There is no one around to call 911 for you—or provide immediate medical assistance—if you fall and crack your skull or collapse from a heart attack, stroke, etc.

Having said that, I certainly agree with many of the advantages listed. I've lived alone for long stretches of my life and have been quite content most of that time. Living full-time with DGF for well over a year now and am also very happy with this arrangement.

Folks living alone need to get one of those "buttons" you push when you've "fallen and you can't get up." Our neighbor had one of those AND a Jitterbug phone she wore on a lanyard. Of course, when she needed help, she called US, but YMMV.

 

[braumeister]

Folks living alone need to get one of those "buttons" you push when you've "fallen and you can't get up." Our neighbor had one of those AND a Jitterbug phone she wore on a lanyard. Of course, when she needed help, she called US, but YMMV.

When my mom was in a retirement community, her apartment had two big red emergency cords. One next to the bed and the other next to the toilet in the bathroom. Pull the cord and someone from the office (in the same building) would immediately come to offer assistance.

She never used them when she fell because she "didn't want to bother them". So she waited until she recovered enough to call me, 25 miles away.

I think this is more common than many suspect.

 

[Letj]

Here is a contrarian point of view, why I would hate living alone, here are the disadvantages. No particular order.



1) I do not have to have a dog for company (Advantage)

2) No one to do my washing

3) No one to cook for me

4) No one to do the clean up gardening, we have a Landscaper but there is always something

5) No one to clean the house, All of it.

6) No one to change the bed

7) No one to darn, fix or take up my clothing

8) No one to make nice crafty things that brighten up the home

9) No one to write letters and fill in forms for me (I hate doing that)

10) No one to get me from the Hospital after a procedure

11) No one to accompany me when I go shopping

12) No one to help me and bring me tools when I am fixing things around the house.

13) No one to clean the fridge

14) No one to help me carry stuff if it is too heavy for one person

15) No one to look after the house plants, Cacti and Orchids

16) No one to take the garbage and recycling out



17) No one to just "Be There" to gaze at on occasion

18) No one to kiss me randomly throughout the day (and night)

19) No one to say good morning and good night to

20) No one to keep me warm on cold nights

21) No one to share the good times with

22) No one to share the bad times with

23) No one to help choose my clothes

24) No one to chat to at random

25) No one to Paint the house and trim

26) No one to share things with



I could go on and on.

Sounds like someone can do with some help from a maid. Wow, that’s a long list for one person.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I suspect Shokwave was kidding otherwise his wife would want to kill him).

 

[razztazz]

Love it. Couldn't imagine living with somebody all the time. Honestly don't know how people do it just as about a million people over the years have told me they don't understand how I can live all by myself.

 

[Nick12]

Living alone is complete freedom.

 

[Pellice]

I had a housemate or housemates until I had saved up enough to buy my own home. I was pretty easygoing, otherwise that situation would have been unbearable. And then I was SO happy to be alone in my new home - I adjusted instantly and I have never missed having another person in my house. Sometimes I fantasize about having a handyman living in the house, but I am told by married friends that that is mostly fantasy, lol!

Saw a response above about a poster's dislike of cooking for one. I really like it - the flexibility and freedom.

 

[Amethyst]

Maybe those are her hobbies? Anyway, it will be quite a Shok if something happens where she can't do all that stuff and he has to do it for her....(pray that doesn't happen)

I suspect Shokwave was kidding otherwise his wife would want to kill him).

 

[beowulf]

Being an only child, living at home through college and getting married at 21, I've never lived alone. Closest was in the Army on deployment, but you're not really alone - there are always people around, even if you have no idea who they are. Only children tend be more comfortable being alone. My wife, after 51 years of marriage, still doesn't understand my need for space. She worries I am upset or angry when I want
to do something by myself. My mother lived alone for nearly 20 years after my father died. My mother in law lost her husband during the Korean War and never remarried, but she had two daughters - one of which I know very well . You adapt to necessity or you get a dog or a cat.

 

[RunningBum]

On Shok's list, not having someone to take me home from procedures is an inconvenience. So far I've had friends who recognized my predicament and helped when asked, but I don't like to have to ask. Any such place is 45-60 minutes away.

Help carrying heavy or awkward loads is also on the list, but it's a little easier to get a neighbor for a few minutes to help with that.

Some of the last few, of course, would be nice.

 

[athena53]

<snip>. Only children tend be more comfortable being alone. My wife, after 51 years of marriage, still doesn't understand my need for space. She worries I am upset or angry when I would like to do something by myself. <snip>

Ah, but I was raised in a family of 5 kids and shared a bedroom with my sister before I went away to college and was SO happy when I moved off-campus my junior year even though it was a garret in a big old Victorian house that was frigid in the winters. (I had to live in the dorm the first 2 years, with a roommate.) I even had a little tiny B&W TV and no one else to argue what channel to watch. I loved the old movies and scheduled my classes to start late in the AM because the movies went till 2 AM.

I married at 31, divorced at 44 (but had DS, age 12, living with me), remarried at 59 and was widowed at 63. One unfortunate mistake in my single days (ages 25-29) was buying a 2-family with the guy I was dating who, it turned out, REALLY wanted to be in my half 24/7. Like your wife, If I wanted to be alone he took it as a sign there was something wrong.

Living alone now isn't bad at all. I ditched cable- I don't need pro sports and hate TV news. I keep the house at temps comfortable for me. I control the TV remote- Netflix only. I eat animal protein maybe once a week and the refrigerator is overrun with fresh produce and the pantry with edamame pasta, lentil "rice", quinoa and other healthy carbs. If I want to eat lunch at 2, that's when lunch is.

I'm acutely aware there's no one to call 911 and I stay off of high ladders. If I get COVID I go it alone. (DS and DDIL live 3 hours away and have 3 small children.) That scares me. I rarely get sick but in that interval when you feel like you could finally eat something you have to feel well enough to get up and make it.

When this doesn't work for me anymore I'll find an Independent living place near DS and DDL but for now I'm happy with my independence.

Folks living alone need to get one of those "buttons" you push when you've "fallen and you can't get up."

But...but... those are for OLD people!