Poll: What gender are you?

[JustCurious]

This other stat is less well known, but to me it's more interesting. If the ratio drops below 1:10 (in other words, if there are very few negative interactions), then that also predicts marital failure.

I was not aware of that. A marriage or relationship that does not have negative interactions predicts failure?

 

[ER Eddie]

I was not aware of that. A marriage or relationship that does not have negative interactions predicts failure?

Yeah. Now, I should add, HOW you engage in those "negative" interactions makes a great deal of difference. If you are contemptuous, belittling, stonewalling, or abusive, that is a "negative" interaction that is very destructive. So there are different types of "negative," and it matters a lot how you handle it. What we're talking about (I think, I haven't dug into it enough to be fully informed) are the typical frictions, disagreements, or conflicts that come up in the course of normal life.

It makes sense. Two different people will always have points of disagreement or friction. You've got different preferences, tastes, emotional states, points of view, etc. So you're going to occasionally rub each other the wrong way.

Engaging that stuff is part of learning how to operate in relationships -- negotiating differences, coming up with compromises, or maybe just tolerating the differences. It's also part of how you get to know another person. You learn a lot about a person in conflict/disagreements. You don't really know someone well, if everything is always niceness, agreeableness, and pleasantness. There has to be a little friction now and then, because that's just a natural part of two different people interacting.

 

[Nemo2]

if there are very few negative interactions), then that also predicts marital failure.

I'd posit that this situation would likely arise when there's total apathy on both sides, rather than complete compatibility.

 

[happy2bretired]

Yeah. Now, I should add, HOW you engage in those "negative" interactions makes a great deal of difference. If you are contemptuous, belittling, stonewalling, or abusive, that is a "negative" interaction that is very destructive. So there are different types of "negative," and it matters a lot how you handle it. What we're talking about (I think, I haven't dug into it enough to be fully informed) are the typical frictions, disagreements, or conflicts that come up in the course of normal life.

It makes sense. Two different people will always have points of disagreement or friction. You've got different preferences, tastes, emotional states, points of view, etc. So you're going to occasionally rub each other the wrong way.

Engaging that stuff is part of learning how to operate in relationships -- negotiating differences, coming up with compromises, or maybe just tolerating the differences. It's also part of how you get to know another person. You learn a lot about a person in conflict/disagreements. You don't really know someone well, if everything is always niceness, agreeableness, and pleasantness. There has to be a little friction now and then, because that's just a natural part of being two different people interacting.

Very good.[emoji106]

 

[Midpack]

Mildly surprised. It seemed closer to 50/50 to me, but then ‘gender ratio’ and ‘post frequency ratio’ could be different...no matter.

 

[Midpack]

When you have a forum with a good atmosphere there is a lot that goes into it. And, it usually involves a lot of care taken by the moderators, much of which is unseen by the members. I think that the great atmosphere of this forum is mostly due to that reason, not due to the composition of the members....

+1000. I’m active on 4-5 forums, and this one is the most civil and pleasant. And I’m sure the mods are the primary reason. It’s been a while but I’ve been politely warned a couple times, and the warnings were understandable in retrospect. I could argue they were overly proactive or misunderstood, but I didn’t, and mods erring on the side of caution is probably best in the long run.

Forums that let posters have free reign devolve into chaos sooner or later IME, and politics is the most toxic topic I’ve seen on those other forums. There is nowhere online to have a civil discussion on politics that I know of, a small vocal group always ruins the discussion.

 

[Luvdogs]

It's funny, there's this almost entirely women's forum that I've belonged to for almost 20 years.

There's been a few reincarnations over the years so each time some of the "trolls, outliers/troublemakers" tend to drop off so it's "nicer" each time.

But whenever there is a "ten pager" it has always gone way off-topic.

Recently someone asked about keeping her cat and therefore catprints off of her new car.

Well the thread IMPLODED into indoor vs outdoor pets/pitbulls/declawing or not/should you care about catprints if you love your pet, etc.

Quite entertaining!!

 

[JoeWras]

Of course anyone who worries about catprints is just plain stupid!


There, added a little tension to the forum!.

 

[Luvdogs]

Yeah, it's kinda a free-for-all over there!

 

[jane_sm1th73]

I'm female. I like reading and walking my dog. My pleasures are therefore rather frugal. Probably why I have my very own pile of FI dough. BUT...

My analytical-type job is so benign that I have not RE'd and don't actually know when I'll pull the plug.

I don't have to go into the office except for monthly client meetings, and am indifferent about whose back I scratch or vice-versa (I am an engineer, after all), so I get the check without the drama. I do, of course, mind my manners and engage in civil discourse.

I am like the folks who posted on the "happily single" forum. Got my own dough and do not play nicely with men who give me the understanding that they want to share.

I'm the first to be astonished at how contentedly it's turned out, given the stress en route to getting here.

 

[ncbill]

I identify as lumber-sexual:

 

[Archman]

Arrrgh.... GENDER is a grammatical term. In the English language there are three genders: masculine, feminine, and neuter. In biology there are only two sexes: male and female.

 

[Just_Steve]

I identify as lumber-sexual: