The Case Against Remarriage

[Nova]

Nah! Same ole sins! Most older unmarried couples I know, don't marry because of financial reasons, such as loss of benefits from spouse. No...not alimony, but surviving spouse benefits. I'm sure there are a lot of well to do seniors where that wouldn't matter, but there are a lot of seniors who need those surviving spouse benefits to make ends meet.

 

[Rustic23]

Simple math, two seniors one with spousal of 2,000 a month and one with 2,000 a month drop to 3,000 a month if they marry. Many figure they can tolerate not being married for $12,000 a year.

 

[FinanceDude]

I would have cohabitated forever but since DW was raised Catholic, that didn't last long........

 

[Moemg]

Ooooh! Maybe there's another sin we don't even know about yet!!

From what I observe of The Florida older singles the sins are

Lusting after the early bird special
Wearing your pants to high
Wearing awful colored pants
Staying in the left lane when you have no intention of passing anyone
Keeping your blinker on whether you are turning or not
Having two for one Martini's and driving in my neighborhood
Going as couples to the grocery store and taking up the whole aisle
and last but not least referring to your wife as the little woman when she is clearly not little

 

[Nords]

The only remarriages that I don't get is when they are both over eighty or late seventies . What is that about ?

Probate.

Especially if the kids think their parents are [-]demented[/-] losing their marbles...

 

[haha]

How much sin is happening after late seventies ?

Ask me in ten or fifteen years.

Ha

 

[Nova]

From what I observe of The Florida older singles the sins are

Lusting after the early bird special
Wearing your pants to high
Wearing awful colored pants
Staying in the left lane when you have no intention of passing anyone
Keeping your blinker on whether you are turning or not
Having two for one Martini's and driving in my neighborhood
Going as couples to the grocery store and taking up the whole aisle
and last but not least referring to your wife as the little woman when she is clearly not little

What about dark knee socks and sandals
Confusing the accelerator with the brake

I just don't like driving inf Florida.

 

[Purron]

DH and I will be celebrating our 36th anniversary in a little over a week. We're very happy together. If something happened to him, I don't think I'd want to remarry. Too hard to adjust to someone new at this point in my life. Plus, the concerns about a new spouse going after my money or wanting someone to serve as their maid, cook and caregiver.

I wouldn't rule it out though. For me, marriage has been a very good thing. We were lucky to have found each other. I don't know if I could be so lucky again, particularly after reading some of the stories in this thread. I would be more inclined to have a set up like W2R's - at least until I was sure of the relationship. Long term companionship without the strings.

 

[Khan]

How much sin is happening after late seventies ?

I don't know any details, but I know my parents were having much fun in their 70s. I would assume the same for many unmarried couples.

 

[bbbamI]

I would have cohabitated forever but since DW was raised Catholic, that didn't last long........

We've seen your pic...she wanted her man to be her husband....

Ask me in ten or fifteen years.

Ha

There's no doubt in my mind...you'll keep on rockin'.

 

[Purron]

There's no doubt in my mind...you'll keep on rockin'.

Yupper. I imagine Ha to be the kinda guy who would make me crazy mad sometimes but would would make it all better later

 

[vicente solano]

I would have cohabitated forever but since DW was raised Catholic, that didn't last long........

My case exactly. Well, I didn´t even get started. And to be truthful, I am too old fashioned and conscious of peer´s opinion to try that "sinful" siuation. That´s me, the great hypocrite!

 

[freebird5825]

I thought you all might find this interesting...

Common-law marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The pioneers had it right!
from http://www.pennfamilylawyers.com/Articles/Common-Law-Marriage.shtml
Common law marriage in the United States was a response to "the exigencies of pioneer life," when an official was often unavailable to perform a marriage ceremony in sparsely populated areas.

 

[Westernskies]

The only remarriages that I don't get is when they are both over eighty or late seventies . What is that about ?

Reminds me of the story about the couple in their late 90's who went before a judge asking for a divorce. The judge asked them why they wanted to get a divorce after having being married for over 70 years.. they replied "we were just waiting for the kids to die"

 

[vicente solano]

Reminds me of the story about the couple in their late 90's who went before a judge asking for a divorce. The judge asked them why they wanted to get a divorce after having being married for over 70 years.. they replied "we were just waiting for the kids to die"

Or that one about a couple, both well into their 80s, that decide to get married, and when finally the time comes for them to sign up on the marriage document, the man hesitates and says he is not to be rushed since marriage is forever...

 

[HFWR]

Or that one about a couple, both well into their 80s, that decide to get married, and when finally the time comes for them to sign up on the marriage document, the man hesitates and says he is not to be rushed since marriage is forever...

It only seems like forever...

 

[obgyn65]

I have never been married and intend to stay that way. No complications.

 

[Tigger]

I have never been married and intend to stay that way. No complications.

It seems logical that an obgyn would want to avoid complications.

+1 for consistency!

 

[omni550]

The Higher Risks of Cohabitation - Room for Debate - NYTimes.com
"Remarriage may be less beneficial among those nearing retirement age. Some recent studies have found that later-life cohabitations are more stable than those entered into by younger adults, though they are still less durable than remarriages. There may be other reasons to avoid remarriages among those who are retirement-aged; concerns with children’s inheritance, reliance on a former spouse’s pension, or a desire sometimes expressed by widows to enjoy the chance to do what they want without concerning themselves with another’s wishes."

 

[omni550]

How to Make It Work This Time
How to Make a Second Marriage Work - Room for Debate - NYTimes.com

"Over the years, I have taken oral histories of many couples whose second marriage had lasted longer than their first marriage and was still going strong. In almost every case, two things stood out. One was the willingness of these individuals to admit what they had done wrong the first time around, instead of putting all the blame on their former spouse. The second was that both spouses felt they had discarded older gender-stereotyped attitudes and behavior that had created problems in their first marriage."

 

[haha]

The Higher Risks of Cohabitation - Room for Debate - NYTimes.com
"Remarriage may be less beneficial among those nearing retirement age. Some recent studies have found that later-life cohabitations are more stable than those entered into by younger adults, though they are still less durable than remarriages. There may be other reasons to avoid remarriages among those who are retirement-aged; concerns with children’s inheritance, reliance on a former spouse’s pension, or a desire sometimes expressed by widows to enjoy the chance to do what they want without concerning themselves with another’s wishes."

Odd that men in this situation don't mention this same thing. After all, we are not in Saudi Arabia. In America married women control their husbands at least as much as the reverse.

Ha

 

[vicente solano]

Odd that men in this situation don't mention this same thing. After all, we are not in Saudi Arabia. In America married women control their husbands at least as much as the reverse.

Ha

As you know Ha, Spain is no different, never mind all that "macho" stuff

 

[audreyh1]

How to Make It Work This Time
How to Make a Second Marriage Work - Room for Debate - NYTimes.com

"Over the years, I have taken oral histories of many couples whose second marriage had lasted longer than their first marriage and was still going strong. In almost every case, two things stood out. One was the willingness of these individuals to admit what they had done wrong the first time around, instead of putting all the blame on their former spouse. The second was that both spouses felt they had discarded older gender-stereotyped attitudes and behavior that had created problems in their first marriage."

I would say this is definitely true in my case, although it is my husband's first. In his case he was almost 36 when we married, and I think that also helps, even though it's not ideal for having children unless the wife is several years younger.

Audrey

 

[Meadbh]

I have never been married and intend to stay that way. No complications.

Like me, you know too much!

 

[DeborahB]

From what I observe of The Florida older singles the sins are

Lusting after the early bird special
Wearing your pants to high
Wearing awful colored pants
Staying in the left lane when you have no intention of passing anyone
Keeping your blinker on whether you are turning or not
Having two for one Martini's and driving in my neighborhood
Going as couples to the grocery store and taking up the whole aisle
and last but not least referring to your wife as the little woman when she is clearly not little

ROTFLMAO! Thanks, I needed this!