brewer12345
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2003
- Messages
- 18,085
DW and I have a friend who is being abused by his wife. Things have been on-again, off-again over the last 6 months, but I probably do not know the whole story because they are not local to us. She recently escalated the situation by grabbing him by the face and throat and slamming his head into the wall a few times. It was bad enough that he called the police and she was booked and charged with a domestic abuse charge. She made bail within the day (he does not know who bailed her out) and charged a whopping amount on their joint credit card to do so. Despite haveing a headace a couple days later he does not want to be checked out by a doctor and seems to be doing what he has done all along - sweep it under the rug, blame himself and tell everyone that *now* they will work it out. They have two small children and in my estimation are sliding toward bankruptcy, despite him working two jobs.
The officer who showed up to arrest her told our friend that he did not like the direction this was going and recommended that our friend take an emergency restraining order on his wife (the cop was ready to do the paperwork on the spot), but our friend refused to do so. I am very concerned that she will continue escalating and I have no doubt that all of this is affecting their kids. Nothing DW, I or a mutual close friend say to him seems to get through and he wants to keep this whole incident very quiet (he will not tell his family or hers what happened).
This all looks like the classic pattern of an abused spouse, including the abused party knuckling under and apologizing for the abuser. Is there anything I can do to help him? I am tempted to show up unannounced and shuffle him and the kids off to a safe place, but I know he would not go along with it.
The officer who showed up to arrest her told our friend that he did not like the direction this was going and recommended that our friend take an emergency restraining order on his wife (the cop was ready to do the paperwork on the spot), but our friend refused to do so. I am very concerned that she will continue escalating and I have no doubt that all of this is affecting their kids. Nothing DW, I or a mutual close friend say to him seems to get through and he wants to keep this whole incident very quiet (he will not tell his family or hers what happened).
This all looks like the classic pattern of an abused spouse, including the abused party knuckling under and apologizing for the abuser. Is there anything I can do to help him? I am tempted to show up unannounced and shuffle him and the kids off to a safe place, but I know he would not go along with it.