boilerman
Recycles dryer sheets
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2007
- Messages
- 155
I was wondering if those of you in retirement have any difficulties dealing fairly with multiple children who are grown and on their own? Do you favor one child’s family over another? By that I mean do you spend more time with them, provide more financial assistance, or otherwise treat their children and their families differently?
My parents retired about 10 years and promptly moved across state, about 5 hours away. In doing so, they moved away from my sister’s family to be 5 minutes away from my brother’s family. Since then, they have become very involved with my brother’s family, spending all of their time babysitting, attending out-of-town sports events for the grandkids, etc. In addition, it’s come out that they have been supporting my brother’s family financially – paying for the grandkid’s braces, picking up all the travel costs when they all go on the road for the grandkids’ soccer games - contributing what is no doubt tens of thousands of dollars.
I’m the third kid who lives on the other side of the country so I am much less involved with all this, but I will admit that when my kid had $7000 worth of braces and my parents didn’t offer to pay for them, I felt hurt by what I considered the unfairness of the situation. This situation has caused a tremendous amount of strain within the family
Is it reasonable for an adult child to expect their parents to treat their kids in some sort of even-handed way? Or are parents entitled to spend their time, energy and money anyway they want and not have to worry about “keeping things even”?
My parents retired about 10 years and promptly moved across state, about 5 hours away. In doing so, they moved away from my sister’s family to be 5 minutes away from my brother’s family. Since then, they have become very involved with my brother’s family, spending all of their time babysitting, attending out-of-town sports events for the grandkids, etc. In addition, it’s come out that they have been supporting my brother’s family financially – paying for the grandkid’s braces, picking up all the travel costs when they all go on the road for the grandkids’ soccer games - contributing what is no doubt tens of thousands of dollars.
I’m the third kid who lives on the other side of the country so I am much less involved with all this, but I will admit that when my kid had $7000 worth of braces and my parents didn’t offer to pay for them, I felt hurt by what I considered the unfairness of the situation. This situation has caused a tremendous amount of strain within the family
Is it reasonable for an adult child to expect their parents to treat their kids in some sort of even-handed way? Or are parents entitled to spend their time, energy and money anyway they want and not have to worry about “keeping things even”?