Do You Hide Your Financial Success From Others?

[DeborahB]

I live very comfortably and spend money more freely than I did when I worked. I can do this because I saved about half my income and lived frugally when I was working. This concept seems mysterious to some.

 

[tmm99]

I live very comfortably and spend money more freely than I did when I worked. I can do this because I saved about half my income and lived frugally when I was working.

Sounds like me.

 

[hopeisconstant]

I’m not sure what success is nowadays, moneywise, that is.
My net worth is about $8M. Does that make me a financial success? I don’t feel rich. Comfortable, OK, I guess, but rich. Not really.

 

[teetee]

I’m not sure what success is nowadays, moneywise, that is.

My net worth is about $8M. Does that make me a financial success? I don’t feel rich. Comfortable, OK, I guess, but rich. Not really.

It depends on different people and factors. To me 8m is wealthy because if you lose half now, you wont be in real panic mode wondering where to live or what to eat tomorrow.

 

[Major Tom]

It depends on different people and factors. To me 8m is wealthy because if you lose half now, you wont be in real panic mode wondering where to live or what to eat tomorrow.

Well, you might be if you were withdrawing 5% of your 8M stash (400K) every year, and felt that you couldn't possibly live on less than that figure. As you say, it depends on the person.

 

[Sunset]

I’m not sure what success is nowadays, moneywise, that is.
My net worth is about $8M. Does that make me a financial success? I don’t feel rich. Comfortable, OK, I guess, but rich. Not really.

For most folks that is RICH... congratulations.

 

[RobbieB]

If you have 8 million and think you need 20 million you are not successful yet.

If you think you need 2 million and have 4 million you are wealthy.

 

[Old Microbiologist]

We retired to Hungary and Eastern Europeans are in general an envious people. They are also extremely xenophobic and being Americans and obviously rich we stand out somewhat. However, the town we retired to has, ironically since we retired here, become a haven for billionaires so we are only a little rich in comparison. The difference is the very wealthy only have vacation homes and we live here full time.

But we don't discuss it at all with anyone and let them think what they want. The mystery is sufficient to keep the locals a bit distant. We are also friends with several politically important locals like the mayor and the hospital director. But we don't spend ostentatiously.

We are considering buying a new car and I have my eyes on the new Mercedes EQS which here comes in at roughly $215k with taxes. That would be very ostentatious so we are waiting for the less expensive EQE model due out soon mostly as it would be less of a target for theft when we travel and only slightly smaller with identical interior as the EQS. In some countries like Bulgaria, Serbia, Turkey, (even Germany or France), etc. a car like an S-class saloon would be at a high risk of theft. However, my wife loves it so we are at an impasse (she is paying for it with her profits from Day Trading). For me, my mind boggles at the thought of buying a car twice as expensive as a good airplane. I already have a yacht and have hinted at upgrading which was rejected as was the idea of an airplane (I have a SEL Commercial/Instrument license). If Tesla made a luxury car then we would buy that instead (although all orders for the S and X models are canceled for at least a year here in Europe). The Porche Taycan has a crappy range and same for the Audi and BMW similar models in the same price range. So this is the only real time we have considered our wealth as a liability. Of course, should the economy collapse and the mobs with fire and pitchforks start then being wealthy (but not super-rich enough to escape to some billionaire haven) would be a serious problem.

 

[teetee]

We retired to Hungary and Eastern Europeans are in general an envious people. They are also extremely xenophobic and being Americans and obviously rich we stand out somewhat. However, the town we retired to has, ironically since we retired here, become a haven for billionaires so we are only a little rich in comparison. The difference is the very wealthy only have vacation homes and we live here full time.



But we don't discuss it at all with anyone and let them think what they want. The mystery is sufficient to keep the locals a bit distant. We are also friends with several politically important locals like the mayor and the hospital director. But we don't spend ostentatiously.



We are considering buying a new car and I have my eyes on the new Mercedes EQS which here comes in at roughly $215k with taxes. That would be very ostentatious so we are waiting for the less expensive EQE model due out soon mostly as it would be less of a target for theft when we travel and only slightly smaller with identical interior as the EQS. In some countries like Bulgaria, Serbia, Turkey, (even Germany or France), etc. a car like an S-class saloon would be at a high risk of theft. However, my wife loves it so we are at an impasse (she is paying for it with her profits from Day Trading). For me, my mind boggles at the thought of buying a car twice as expensive as a good airplane. I already have a yacht and have hinted at upgrading which was rejected as was the idea of an airplane (I have a SEL Commercial/Instrument license). If Tesla made a luxury car then we would buy that instead (although all orders for the S and X models are canceled for at least a year here in Europe). The Porche Taycan has a crappy range and same for the Audi and BMW similar models in the same price range. So this is the only real time we have considered our wealth as a liability. Of course, should the economy collapse and the mobs with fire and pitchforks start then being wealthy (but not super-rich enough to escape to some billionaire haven) would be a serious problem.

Pretty amazing how the rich think that they hide their wealth well but post 80% of the things online making them targets.

 

[seraphim]

We don’t discuss, but friends and family suspect. I talk to younger relatives about investing. My brother - who made the same general income as I - tells me I was ‘fortunate’. I promptly got on his case about our lifestyles, and decisions made, and he stopped commenting. No one else mentions it.

Friends also know we’re building a ‘generation’ house for us and son’s family to live in. We help with the grandkids, and they reciprocate when we get older lol. Sharing living costs, but we’re helping him go back to school for another year.

My son knows how much we have. I left him information in case something happens to us so he doesn’t have to try and find stuff. So I guess his wife suspects as well.

 

[Old Microbiologist]

TeeTee we are not hiding at all but trying not to make our neighbors too jealous. The envy shows in weird ways. There is a fable written by Pushkin about a goldfish and three wishes that fits well the last wish being I want my neighbors to not have rather than to give me.

Mostly we want to prevent property crime which is a real thing here allegedly caused by the gypsies. However, I have a full-time property manager (retired Soviet Army) that is 2 meters tall and very aggressive plus I am retired military with Special Forces qualifications. Most Europeans already think Americans are insanely aggressive and we keep bizarre hours so I think most people keep their distance. We have not had any property crime at all but many of our neighbors have. I attribute that to fear which is fine as far as I am concerned. Our property is roughly 3 acres and completely surrounded by a rigid brick and steel fence with 6-inch sharp spikes on top and an impenetrable barrier of 10m high cypresses which also gives privacy. Then insane Americans inside so I am not too worried about it. But travel is an entirely different matter and car theft is a huge problem as it is everywhere. My in-laws drive the high-end luxury Range Rovers and have had several stolen in Moscow. The problem these days is you have to pre-order a car and then wait 6 months for delivery so if it is stolen it becomes a major pain in the butt. We plan to buy a cheapish small car for local stuff. I already ride my bicycle (or walk) everywhere locally weather permitting. I want a crappy 4wd Lada Niva but my wife is resistant. I do a lot of rough backroad driving for her photographic stuff which is very tough on a normal car. The crappier the better so there is no worry about damage. There are some old Soviet jeeps running around as well that are also super cheap.

 

[Joylush]

It depends on different people and factors. To me 8m is wealthy because if you lose half now, you wont be in real panic mode wondering where to live or what to eat tomorrow.

This is me. I didn’t feel comfortable until I had twice what I’d need to fund the rest of my life. Half is conservatively invested so if I lost half I’d still have no worries. The other half is less conservatively invested. Yet still, I don’t need to drawn down on it because the earnings are more than enough to fund my annual needs so it grows instead of depletes. The nice to have dilemma now is trying to come up with things to spend it on.

Nobody in a million years would know this based on my lifestyle and that’s how I prefer it.

 

[Markola]

This is me. I didn’t feel comfortable until I had twice what I’d need to fund the rest of my life. Half is conservatively invested so if I lost half I’d still have no worries. The other half is less conservatively invested. Yet still, I don’t need to drawn down on it because the earnings are more than enough to fund my annual needs so it grows instead of depletes. The nice to have dilemma now is trying to come up with things to spend it on.



Nobody in a million years would know this based on my lifestyle and that’s how I prefer it.

Just in contrast, my DW has survived cancer twice and is in a live-while-I’m-alive mindset, which is hard to argue with, especially since she is still bringing in some income. It’s a stretch for me constitutionally but reading the Die With Zero book provided a strong argument to embrace DW’s point of view more. In our case, I’ve gotten relatively comfortable to spend within the bounds of what Vanguard says we can safely spend, which still leaves above their recommended 85% portfolio success ratio.

Each person, or couple, has to think through their own balance, and YM - definitely - MV.

 

[finnski1]

TeeTee we are not hiding at all but trying not to make our neighbors too jealous. The envy shows in weird ways. There is a fable written by Pushkin about a goldfish and three wishes that fits well the last wish being I want my neighbors to not have rather than to give me.

Mostly we want to prevent property crime which is a real thing here allegedly caused by the gypsies. However, I have a full-time property manager (retired Soviet Army) that is 2 meters tall and very aggressive plus I am retired military with Special Forces qualifications. Most Europeans already think Americans are insanely aggressive and we keep bizarre hours so I think most people keep their distance. We have not had any property crime at all but many of our neighbors have. I attribute that to fear which is fine as far as I am concerned. Our property is roughly 3 acres and completely surrounded by a rigid brick and steel fence with 6-inch sharp spikes on top and an impenetrable barrier of 10m high cypresses which also gives privacy. Then insane Americans inside so I am not too worried about it. But travel is an entirely different matter and car theft is a huge problem as it is everywhere. My in-laws drive the high-end luxury Range Rovers and have had several stolen in Moscow. The problem these days is you have to pre-order a car and then wait 6 months for delivery so if it is stolen it becomes a major pain in the butt. We plan to buy a cheapish small car for local stuff. I already ride my bicycle (or walk) everywhere locally weather permitting. I want a crappy 4wd Lada Niva but my wife is resistant. I do a lot of rough backroad driving for her photographic stuff which is very tough on a normal car. The crappier the better so there is no worry about damage. There are some old Soviet jeeps running around as well that are also super cheap.

I can't imagine ever wanting to live somewhere where I had to have a brick and steel fence with spikes on top just to keep thief's and others out. Also sounds like a very high crime area, That would completely go against everything I hold dear, freedom, safety security etc. Why one would choose to live this way is beyond me. Then you can't travel the country side by car for fear of rampant car theft? What is the upside?

 

[Sunset]

TeeTee we are not hiding at all but trying not to make our neighbors too jealous. The envy shows in weird ways. There is a fable written by Pushkin about a goldfish and three wishes that fits well the last wish being I want my neighbors to not have rather than to give me.

Mostly we want to prevent property crime which is a real thing here allegedly caused by the gypsies. However, I have a full-time property manager (retired Soviet Army) that is 2 meters tall and very aggressive plus I am retired military with Special Forces qualifications. Most Europeans already think Americans are insanely aggressive and we keep bizarre hours so I think most people keep their distance. We have not had any property crime at all but many of our neighbors have. I attribute that to fear which is fine as far as I am concerned. Our property is roughly 3 acres and completely surrounded by a rigid brick and steel fence with 6-inch sharp spikes on top and an impenetrable barrier of 10m high cypresses which also gives privacy. Then insane Americans inside so I am not too worried about it. But travel is an entirely different matter and car theft is a huge problem as it is everywhere. My in-laws drive the high-end luxury Range Rovers and have had several stolen in Moscow. The problem these days is you have to pre-order a car and then wait 6 months for delivery so if it is stolen it becomes a major pain in the butt. We plan to buy a cheapish small car for local stuff. I already ride my bicycle (or walk) everywhere locally weather permitting. I want a crappy 4wd Lada Niva but my wife is resistant. I do a lot of rough backroad driving for her photographic stuff which is very tough on a normal car. The crappier the better so there is no worry about damage. There are some old Soviet jeeps running around as well that are also super cheap.

I have very fond memories of my regular Lada sedan, and enjoy watching movies set in Eastern European countries or Russia where they are common in the movies as it brings back memories.

This was 35 years ago, maybe they are better now ?

I had to sell it, as it would randomly turn off while driving on the freeway, or very commonly when doing a left hand turn

<edit> I've only lived in North America, so my Lada was an oddity.

 

[NW-Bound]

We retired to Hungary...

We are considering buying a new car and I have my eyes on the new Mercedes EQS which here comes in at roughly $215k with taxes...

The EQS is only about 1/2 the above price in the US. Apparently, Hungary is one of the countries that have a hefty tax on imported luxury. Some countries levy as much as 130% tax on imported cars.

Just driving an imported car in those countries broadcasts the message that you are rich.

 

[Lienlord]

We also maintain a low profile regarding net worth with friends & family. They know we've invested in real estate for years, and had many rental properties at different times. Most assume they were mortgaged to the hilt and the rent broke even, and we've never said otherwise. Most of our friends are from many years, and we fear a distancing in relationships if there was a perception we're wealthy. When I leave my W2 in 22' @ 57 I'll say I'm self-employed property manager, which will always be true (most of our RE investments are now passive, requiring little/no actual management).

Family, same reason. I came from a family that struggled, and my siblings still do, due to 'live for today' poor choices. Like others here, our lifestyle is no sign of what we have.
I've never been asked for advice from any of them. They think we're tightwads, and want no part of any plan I'd suggest!

As far as kids, we've reached the need to update our Living Trust making our sons successor trustees. This means advising of legal/financial matters and how to take over in the event of our simultaneous deaths. We've already told them our goal is to spend it all on ourselves, but if we fail they get what's leftover! LOL

 

[tmm99]

Compared to many people here, we're probably considered poor, but looking at the national average, I guess we're in a good place financially.

By looking at what we own (including our house), nobody would know our net worth is in the top whatever percentile (4%? 5%? It depends on which article I read...) One of my friends has some ideas because she's our POA. I told my older brother over 15 years ago what I then owned (not much but evidently much more than him) and his attitude toward me changed. That was a good lesson I learned early on to not share my financial information with just anybody.

 

[Maidensong]

Millionaires are the worst!

That's what my mom said one time.

Bear in mind we've taken my folks on numerous vacations with us, cruises, road trips and flights to week long trips to theme parks. We bought them a new refrigerator when they discovered the previous owners of the house they bought had taken the one that was there. We didn't think twice about it. Whatever they need, we step up. They don't even have to ask.

Both my DH and I grew up lower middle class and distrust of wealth is sort of ingrained in our families' DNA. But when Mom started going off on how stingy rich people are and how millionaires are the worst, I said, "Well, it's too bad I sleep with one every night."

Guess she forgot who she was talking to...

 

[street]

]I can't imagine ever wanting to live somewhere where I had to have a brick and steel fence with spikes on top just to keep thief's and others out.[/B] Also sounds like a very high crime area, That would completely go against everything I hold dear, freedom, safety security etc. Why one would choose to live this way is beyond me. Then you can't travel the country side by car for fear of rampant car theft? What is the upside?

I can't either. In all the years owning a very remote ranch with a cabin even more remote and never once have I had a problem. I have had some strangers on camera, but nothing ever stolen, or anything destroyed. Have had some illegal hunters but that isn't a huge concern for me.

It would be very hard for me to live with fear of not being able to trust people.

 

[FIREarly]

In the 80's I was working in the Beauty industry and got real good at what I do. I live in Los Angeles and celebrities "heard" about me and started coming in. Howard Stern loved three of the girls that I took care of and when interviewed, they all mentioned ME on his radio show. I had a long run of fame and worked from 6am until 10 or 11 at night back to back for a number of years. I was married to a cameraman, and we had the same hours so often we left and came home at the same time. We kept our money separate. He spent, in my opinion, so frivolously as he bought watches (boxes self winding on the dresser side by side) and cars (like a new one every 6 months) and I bought (broken down) houses, but in GREAT Locations. And I have never Sold. There was no housing boom...yet. My first ($84,000-in a GREAT Location) was abandoned for years and my husband thought I had a screw loose because I wanted it and ohhh...it needed a lot of work.It smelled musty so he wouldn't even venture inside to look at it with me. But I loved it, and bought it, and spent weekends working on it. I worked with focus and paid to have my houses fixed up little by little and did so good with my first one that we actually moved in to it. I was raised dirt poor so I learned early how to make something out of nothing and my proprieties were very fun to fix-up, and I didn't cheap-out on things you shouldn't cheap out on. Got the best re-pipe plumbing (copper), 35 year new roofs, Cast iron Bathtub (not resin), went to amazing high class tile stores and picked out from the Clearance section the beauties and surrounded them with a black liner and white tile all around to finish, got expensive hardy faucetry (not plastic), the Best Dunn-Edwards paint etc. The housing "boom" wasn't quite here yet, in the 80's, so for awhile there I was buying a house a year. So, to be "blue-collar" working appearing (and I still very much am) I drive a small old mini truck (1998) that I LOVE, (but I do have a Mercedes in the garage~an old black beautiful one that I rarely drive) I buy my clothes from Salvation Army (better made!), I live humbly but not cheaply and I think most people really wouldn't think at all that I have what I have. I still work part time, I love it when I get a notice to vacate from a tenant because I still love fixing up the houses and I do clean and make them nice, attractive and so desirable (I even check the corners with q-tips before I release a home to a new tenant) that usually the first people that look at it, want to take it.
So my ex-husband (friendly divorce) that thought I was crazy bought beautiful watches and cameraman expensive cars and I bought houses that needed a LOT of fixing up. And I had so much fun customizing them to an easy to live in style and my motto was always: to "Stay on the Creative Side of Classic." Oh, and my 24 houses now, are also all paid off. I feel very blessed for having the intuition that I did in the 80's, and those rent checks each month are so very sweet. I think the best investment you could EVER make is in Real Estate. And I never ever tell anything to people that know me. That is some bad karma to brag. Nothing but ill will vibe energy may/will come your way if you do, guarenteed. Stay humble, stay safe and Thank God for all of your smarts, your blessings, and that you had the common sense to think of your future.

Thank you, that is an excellent post.

 

[travelover]

Wow, after reading this spate of humble bragging, I no longer feel like I have anything to hide, being in the lowly 7 digit net worth. However, if I need a loan, I know who to private message.

 

[Keim]

Wow, after reading this spate of humble bragging, I no longer feel like I have anything to hide, being in the lowly 7 digit net worth. However, if I need a loan, I know who to private message.

Heh heh-agreed.

I thought I was doing fine-some of the people here are doing great!

My personal definition of rich starts at about $1m. At that level one is better than 93% of Americans.

But that doesn't feel rich. Feeling rich is what I call capital "R" Rich. For me that is somewhere around $8-10m...

 

[kgtest]

My idiot co-worker (who didn't need HO insurance 'cause he paid cash and then his house flooded) always complained about gasoline prices.

He drove a company car with free gas like me.

Guy just didn't make any sense.

He was a real frugal guy too. Drove the company car to the park every sunday and went through the trash cans to re-cycle aluminum cans.

Probably an eternal pessimist. I'll never forget when I was at a nice high end condo resort on big Island with my family and my mom and dad. I was cooking a nice filet on the community grill while one of the guests/residents was busy picking through each garbage can for aluminum. Something didn't add up in that moment but I just thought how grateful I was to not be in their position.

 

[travelover]

....Something didn't add up in that moment but I just thought how grateful I was to not be in their position.

You never know, the picker might be richer than you. Some people just can't walk by an opportunity to make money.

When we go camping, I always look in the dumpsters. After a cold rainy weekend, brand new tents, sleeping bags and camp chairs get tossed by angry spouses. My picking embarrasses my DW to death.