Do You Like Living Alone?

[Teacher Terry]

I have known single people that didn’t have anyone to help with rides, etc if needed. When I broke my wrist and my ex was out of town I had so many people offer to help and I took them up on it. That makes me feel good because I know that my friends will be there for me as well as my sons. My friends say that they are happy they can finally repay me. I never think of it in those terms when helping others but it does make me feel good that for instance I will always have a ride to medical procedures that require one or someone to get me groceries if I am too sick, etc. My family and friendships have always been my highest priority and the joy they have brought me.

 

[RetireeRobert]

No, I do not like living alone. I was married for almost 41 years.

 

[Koolau]

No, I do not like living alone. I was married for almost 41 years.

I can't imagine what that would be like. Never really lived along.

Statistics say I'll go first. That will be fine with me. Hopefully, not for a while yet.

 

[RetireeRobert]

I can't imagine what that would be like. Never really lived along.

Statistics say I'll go first. That will be fine with me. Hopefully, not for a while yet.

I (and my dear wife) always thought I would be the first to go too. I was seven years older, and the actuaries all say the males tend to go first anyway. But it turned out she went first. A couple months before all the Covid fun started.

In a way, I was grateful she was able to miss out on the whole Covid re-ordering of society. She was always the worrier, and our three kids and our grandchild would have been on her mind constantly in these Covid times.

I also got a whole different perspective of life for the surviving spouse I had never even considered. So, in more than one way I am grateful she was spared some of the trials of being the one left to navigate the world alone. I have a new appreciation of some of the difficulties of being "the survivor" that had never ever occurred to me.

I am just glad God created us with the ability to create and store memories.

 

[CuriousJoe]

"So, in more than one way I am grateful she was spared some of the trials of being the one left to navigate the world alone"


Very beautiful and touching. Still, my sympathies for your loss

 

[pdxgal]

Maybe we could start a dating forum on this site. We already have LBYM in common

I do not particularly like living alone. We are social beings. I like having someone to talk with at least daily (I'm a sociable introvert). Now with WFH during the pandemic if it weren't for my housemate life would be pretty lonely indeed. Sharing home cooked meals is also a great pleasure, and it's easier to do that if you live with someone else. Longer term I would like to explore co-housing options, as they seem to offer a nice balance of "alone time" and socializing opportunities, even if one lives alone in their own unit.

It would be great to have a satisfying LT relationship with someone in the future, but like many others here I will almost certainly not get married again. Very little upside either financially or legally, yet much potential downside.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I have a mix of friends that live with a spouse or alone. The ones that live alone really like it but they all have a strong friend network like I do. It will be interesting to see how I feel.

 

[MarieIG]

I (and my dear wife) always thought I would be the first to go too. I was seven years older, and the actuaries all say the males tend to go first anyway. But it turned out she went first. A couple months before all the Covid fun started.

In a way, I was grateful she was able to miss out on the whole Covid re-ordering of society. She was always the worrier, and our three kids and our grandchild would have been on her mind constantly in these Covid times.

I also got a whole different perspective of life for the surviving spouse I had never even considered. So, in more than one way I am grateful she was spared some of the trials of being the one left to navigate the world alone. I have a new appreciation of some of the difficulties of being "the survivor" that had never ever occurred to me.

I am just glad God created us with the ability to create and store memories.

I am so sorry for your loss Robert.

 

[Nemo2]

I (and my dear wife) always thought I would be the first to go too. I was seven years older, and the actuaries all say the males tend to go first anyway.

My late wife was 6 1/2 years younger than me, and like you, (like most guys), I always presumed I'd go first.

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.” Lemony Snicket.

Repeating my previous posts (again)...the winter after she died I was in Arizona and met a very young 90 year old who'd just buried his third wife.....he said "I didn't (really) know her that long, but it felt as if I'd known her my entire life".

Subsequently I was lucky enough to meet DW who turned out to be the love of my life.

Never, never, give up!

"I've had good days and bad days
And going half mad days" Jimmy Buffett

 

[gayl]

Wow is this timely!!!!! Last grandson flew the coup 3 weeks ago [emoji126]. I no longer have to cook vegan then add in my dairy at the table, utility bills dropped significantly, I can take off with Koda whenever (that is whenever GS1 doesn't want a weekend with him), and I don't have alternative electronic & that mouth music being created / recorded all hours of day & night. I love LOVE smooth jazz & classical (GS1 introduced me to classical) but I just don't appreciate mouth music (yknow --- music made with different vocal chirps /puffs instead of instruments)

 

[RetireeRobert]

MarieIG and Nemmo2, thanks to both of you for your thoughts.

It is a strange land, being the unexpected survivor.

 

[Souschef]

MarieIG and Nemmo2, thanks to both of you for your thoughts.

It is a strange land, being the unexpected survivor.

Please accept my condolences also. I lost my wife of 30 years some years ago. It is indeed a strange land to navigate.

 

[RetireeRobert]

Thank you Souschef.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Robert, I am so sorry. A few of my friends have lost their spouses and it’s been difficult for them. I have lost 5 friends all to cancer between the ages of 59-67.

 

[Koolau]

Repeating my previous posts (again)...the winter after she died I was in Arizona and met a very young 90 year old who'd just buried his third wife.....he said "I didn't (really) know her that long, but it felt as if I'd known her my entire life".

This reminds me so much of THE GREEN MILE. As heavy as the first portion of the movie was, the final part where Paul lives out his own "death sentence" was the most devastating to me. Paul was played at the end by one of the best character actors ever - Dabbs Greer.

I really hope I go first. As ever, YMMV.

 

[RetireeRobert]

Robert, I am so sorry. A few of my friends have lost their spouses and it’s been difficult for them. I have lost 5 friends all to cancer between the ages of 59-67.

Thank you for the condolences Teacher Terry.

 

[Rico]

I see an opportunity for “Uber med”.

I did exactly that recently with an emergency room visit. Although I reluctantly accepted a ride TO the ER from a friend, it was a simple UBER app that got my ride back home at 4am many hours later. No restrictions imposed by the ER on using ride services for patient releases. Only $11 one way plus I didn't have to bother anyone at that ungodly wee hour.

Next time I'll use UBER roundtrip unless I die in the ER. Hmmm makes me think about pre-arranging UBER one-way funeral home transport? Flashback to the movie "Weekend at Bernie's" anyone? Now THAT's planning ahead frugally! Of course I'll pre-tip generously.

 

[RetireeRobert]

I did exactly that recently with an emergency room visit. Although I reluctantly accepted a ride TO the ER from a friend, it was a simple UBER app that got my ride back home at 4am many hours later. No restrictions imposed by the ER on using ride services for patient releases. Only $11 one way plus I didn't have to bother anyone at that ungodly wee hour.

Next time I'll use UBER roundtrip unless I die in the ER. Hmmm makes me think about pre-arranging UBER one-way funeral home transport? Flashback to the movie "Weekend at Bernie's" anyone? Now THAT's planning ahead frugally! Of course I'll pre-tip generously.

I always thought of myself as a good planner. But you are really planning to the max!

 

[Amethyst]

I went to the ER in an ambulance some years back, and my husband got in with me. So, no way for us to drive home. Seven hours later, maybe 1 a.m., Uber was a great (and inexpensive) convenience.

Evidently it is only procedures that involve anesthetics, where the hospitals (for legal reasons) insist that you only ride with someone you already know. Even if you are wide awake by then!

I did exactly that recently with an emergency room visit. Although I reluctantly accepted a ride TO the ER from a friend, it was a simple UBER app that got my ride back home at 4am many hours later. No restrictions imposed by the ER on using ride services for patient releases. Only $11 one way plus I didn't have to bother anyone at that ungodly wee hour.

Next time I'll use UBER roundtrip unless I die in the ER. Hmmm makes me think about pre-arranging UBER one-way funeral home transport? Flashback to the movie "Weekend at Bernie's" anyone? Now THAT's planning ahead frugally! Of course I'll pre-tip generously.

 

[Teacher Terry]

A lot has happened in the past 10 days. The condo I bought advertised all utilities included and after I made the offer I asked my realtor to confirm. The association fee was 600/month but even listed cable. It turns out that basically it wasn’t true and the agent relied on the client and didn’t check it. Unfortunately between the inspection and documents requested by the mortgage company I was out 700 for a condo that I refused to buy. I could take the owner to small claims court but don’t feel up to it.

Then a few days later I found one in the old southwest close to where I have lived before and love the area. I can walk to a beautiful park, restaurants and shops. It’s on the 3rd floor with a skylight and a new kitchen and wood floors. It has 2 bedrooms and a big balcony. I got into a bidding war and had to go 20 over asking.

Then my ex’s mortgage company decided after 5 weeks that they cannot refinance for the amount needed. That caused drama as I was going to put the house on the market quickly and my ex was mad. Then my stepson decided to co-sign the loan which pleased the lender because he has lots of money/income and very little debt. It was a stressful few days. Now we are back on track to close the house on the 8th and my condo on the 12th. I so want this behind me.

 

[gayl]

Sounds like you've been on quite a roller-coaster .... disappointed in the 1st one but found a better place / refinancing turned down then Stepson comes through.

 

[W2R]

Glad you found another condo, TeacherTerry! Good luck and I hope the closing and subsequent move both go smoothly.

 

[chris2008]

Is it 3rd floor with elevator or without?
In later years that might make a huge difference.
Have a happy life in your new home.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I wouldn’t buy in a building without a elevator. It’s a secure building which was a must have. First time I bought one it was on the first floor. It was fine until the senior above me died and someone young moved in. I have one of the few condos with a view of the mountains and courtyard at the opposite end from the pool. Also my 373 HOA fee really does cover all my utilities except for lights and sewer. It even covers A/C which is centralized like the heat.

 

[ivinsfan]

It's going to a long almost month of waiting. Fingers crossed everything from here on goes smoothly.

Your stepson is awesome and it sounds like the 700 bucks you lost was money well spent.