holiday spending

[Lancelot]

As a kid I LOVED Christmas (read receiving gifts) But now I really don't want anything, just a nice holiday dinner with close family.

Besides, since I've "downsized" it automatically limits the stuff I can drag around

Lance

 

[whitestick]

(And we are now down to about 10 Xmas cards as well. )
This is presenting a real problem and getting worse. We still send out over 80 cards each year, and about 20 of those are the extra special ones.
I can see dropping all by the extra special ones, although that doesn't necesarilly indicate the importance, just the opportunity to enclose an additional letter that gets to the heart of the matter.
Question is how do you wean yourself from these If you just stop, I can see several years of "are you having problems, is everything ok, etc." If you suggest we mutually stop, you seem like a real Scrooge, for not even sending a card. Also, many don't have, or we don't know an email address for them, so that doesn't give us an alternative choice either. It's a quandry. How did you resolve it.

 

[Nords]

Also, many don't have, or we don't know an email address for them, so that doesn't give us an alternative choice either. It's a quandry. How did you resolve it.

Well, it takes a few years, but in the first year's card you ask for their e-mail address and tell them it's because you're considering sending out an e-mail holiday greeting next year.

If that doesn't produce an e-mail address, the second year you announce that next year you're going all electronic. (Now they feel like they're in the minority and will be left behind.)

And the third year you send your greetings out via e-mail. By then even the most recalcitrant grandparents are onboard...

 

[Mr._johngalt]

Well, it takes a few years, but in the first year's card you ask for their e-mail address and tell them it's because you're considering sending out an e-mail holiday greeting next year. 

If that doesn't produce an e-mail address, the second year you announce that next year you're going all electronic.  (Now they feel like they're in the minority and will be left behind.)

And the third year you send your greetings out via e-mail.  By then even the most recalcitrant grandparents are onboard...

We are sticking with traditional cards for this year. I intended to buy
some "personalized" cards on line (Texas theme?). Too spendy.
Ended up at the Dollar Store where I got 36 for $6. Thus the cards
are less than the postage, but I still have to write notes
and sign them.

JG

 

[Mr._johngalt]

As a kid I LOVED Christmas (read receiving gifts) But now I really don't want anything, just a nice holiday dinner with close family.

Besides, since I've "downsized" it automatically limits the stuff I can drag around 

Lance

I doubt this will surprise anyone. I NEVER really liked Christmas, even as
a kid (except the meals and being with close family. That was great).
The rest, shopping, finding a tree, decorating...........pure torture.
Now, I put up 2 wreaths on the garage, send out about half as many cards, and try to shop mostly on-line. I miss the big family gatherings
but very little else.

JG

 

[uncledrz]

On cards, we're (that is DW is) sending out cards this year, but we are going to electronic for all cards next year.

On the gifts, a few checks to the kids, gifts to the grandkids, and that's it; way, way down from even 5 years ago, but it works out just fine in our family.

The one thing that hasn't changed is the family gathering of 30-40 people (depends who's where, in what part of this country, in other countries and able to make it) for Chirstmas Day dinner, and that's special.

Uncledrz

 

[uncledrz]

SO and I use Christmas gifts as an excuse to buy each other stuff we need/want anyway and stock up on enough chocolate to last until Valentine's Day.  He's probably getting an MP3 player and a chain saw.  How romantic.  

I don't know about the MP3 player, but a good chain saw, now that's the way to a man's heart.

Uncledrz

 

[Outtahere]

Dh and I pared down our Xmass cards easily ... saved the cards from the previous year and only send to those people. We've done this for 5 or 6 years now and it's worked nicely, pared our cards down to about 25 not including Ecards. As far as gifts go, with my siblings we just buy for the kids and our parents. His family we buy for all the kids and the grandkids but as they age it's getting easier, the older ones prefer gift certificates and so do I. Xmass eve his kids gather here for dinner and opening gifts, Xmass day we spend at my parents for dinner. Seems like every year it gets a little easier. I'm also using the sympathy card this year as I'm scheduled for minor surgery in two weeks so they'll all understand if this year is streamlined. Dh and I don't exchange big gifts, I get him a few small things he gets me a couple things. We tend to buy what we want when we want it. He just purchased new pipes and a seat for his bike so he's all set, I just bought myself a new monitor for the computer.

 

[education]

We are sticking with traditional cards for this year.  I intended to buy
some "personalized" cards on line (Texas theme?).  Too spendy.
Ended up at the Dollar Store where I got 36 for $6.  Thus the cards
are less than the postage, but I still have to write notes
and sign them. 

JG


Hi John--

I love Texas!!!!  Since we've been here we have always gone with Texas-themed cards to send to friends and relatives  too unfortunate to live in Texas.   I've never lived in a place that has it's own stores celebrating itself, or cards reflecting its heritage and personality.

I am concerned that the cards are now roughly a buck each.  And no way to pare down as these cards have become a tradition and expectation.  Locals--the get the dollar store variety!!!!!!!!!  Guess the value  there is a wash.

Professor

 

[HFWR]

It would surely be hard by the time Xmas arrived!

That's what she said...

 

[Jarhead*]

Re: Holiday spending (or not)


Nords: Holiday letters. (They are heartwarming, huh?). Usually start out with it's been quite a year, followed up by 2 or 3 pages of self-congratulating "crap" about how wonderful things are with the entire family, down to the grandkids.
I think anybody that has raised a family, and gone through the trials of doing so, have tired of receiving these "fictional" holiday letters.

We did receive one about 3 years ago that we enjoyed.! (From a neighbor of mine that transferred to the Mid-west about 12 years ago, that we had lost track of).

Started out, "It's been quite a year."
Bob's plant closed down about 4 mos. ago, but has a few months left before his unemployment runs out. (Praise the Lord).
You remember our middle daughter, (Suzanne),
well, she has 3 small children, and that "scum-bag" that she married 6 years ago left them high and dry and she has moved in with us.
Our youngest, Amy, is 16 now, and about 4 mos. pregnant. (We are in process of determining who the father is, but some members of the football team have refused to take a "paternity test".
Our son, Robert is due to be released from County Jail, the middle part of December. (Praise the Lord), and we will all be together to celebrate the most Holy of Holidays.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas, and hope all is well with you."

That was actual letter received, and not until some months later, did we get a letter explaining that all is O.K. with them, and was her "sick" way of railing against the "Holiday" Letter.

 

[Michael Moore]

You mean there are people who open those e-cards? I delete them all unopened, as most of the websites seem to be loaded with malware or want to bombard you with popups and other crap.

I'd much rather have a short email from someone. It shows more effort on their part.

cheers,
Michael

 

[Sheryl]

I don't know about the MP3 player, but a good chain saw, now that's the way to a man's heart. 

Uncledrz

Giving the obvious browsing of the Sears Craftsman ad, and the comment,  "Now there's a good saw!" I don't see how I can go wrong unless he buys it himself first.   Happy to have that little hint.   Now I just have to start worrying about the Big 5-0 birthday in three more months. 

 

[Nords]

Re: Holiday spending (or not)

Holiday letters.  (They are heartwarming, huh?).  Usually start out with it's been quite a year...

Friends of ours in (under) Mandeville had quite a Katrina letter this year. But everything worked out OK for them.

His e-mail: he's contemplating Navy retirement and a transition to a civil-service job at the Naval Oceanography complex in the Stennis Space Center.

Her e-mail: "After this hurricane, I've decided that we are NOT retiring here!"

 

[Billy]

RE: Christmas cards,... before we pulled the plug and retired, it was getting to be this competitive situation, perhaps peculiar to California living in the '80's. How many people do you have on your list? Our cards are gold foiled and personally inscribed by a printing company, etc...    (and nothing personal inside except that dreaded "yearly letter.." yuck.) That's when it started for us. We pared down. Cards to Mom and Dad.
Nords your ideas of eCards and taking 3 years or so was perfect, and Outta here

... saved the cards from the previous year and only send to those people. We've done this for 5 or 6 years now and it's worked nicely,  pared our cards down to about 25 not including Ecards.

Very reasonable approach!   

JG said:

I doubt this will surprise anyone.  I NEVER really liked Christmas, even as a kid (except the meals and being with close family.  That was great). The rest, shopping, finding a tree, decorating...........pure torture....I miss the big family gatherings but very little else.

I know a lot of men that get depressed 'right on cue' around the holidays. Their wives go nutso - shopping, and manic decorating - and all the guys can hear behind the holiday music is the ka-ching of the cash registers his wife is filling...  poor guys... Now I think I understand.. 

However, let me be clear that the family gatherings, sharing with loved ones, and all that is something I miss and truly love. The obligation and expectation of 'you have to be happy on this day during these hours and bring a gift amounting to this much' is something I can do without. 

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement
www.RetireEarlyLifestyle.com

 

[Eagle43]

We stopped Christmas Cards a few years ago. We still get a few, but when you don't return them, they become less and less. I don't miss getting them, and I sure don't miss sending them. Obligatory cards with pseudo feel-good messages are hypocritical. Now we do the phone calls on the "big" days to friends and relatives. Real communications instead of fake commercial crap.

Wasn't there a big stir a few years ago about the boss sending out his secretary to buy Valentine's Day cards. How's that for sincerity? You don't write the verse on the card, and you don't even bother to go get it.

 

[Sheryl]

I think I'm in the minority here. I enjoy doing the Christmas cards. I only send them to people I care about. I do it when I'm sitting in front of the tv anyway. Takes about three or four evenings. Its nice to spend 2-3 minutes thinking about the person or family, write a line or two about them, us or both and send it off.

I enjoy getting cards in the mail, displaying them, reading them over a few times over the season, and thinking about the people who sent them.

This year (yeah right) I'm going to try to do the mailing labels on the computer, up til now I've hand-written the addresses too. That's a compromise I will make to the time factor. I send about 40 cards.

 

[Mr._johngalt]

I think I'm in the minority here.   I enjoy doing the Christmas cards.  I only send them to people I care about.  I do it when I'm sitting in front of the tv anyway. Takes about three or four evenings.  Its nice to spend 2-3 minutes thinking about the person or family, write a line or two about them, us or both and send it off.

I enjoy getting cards in the mail, displaying them, reading them over a few times over the season, and thinking about the people who sent them.

This year (yeah right) I'm going to try to do the mailing labels on the computer, up til now I've hand-written the addresses too.  That's a compromise I will make to the time factor.  I send about 40 cards.

I hand-write everything and also send about 40 cards. I enjoy it at some level, but OTOH it's another holiday chore to be handled. I do like to keep in touch though.

JG

 

[Billy]

Eagle 43

Obligatory cards with pseudo feel-good messages are hypocritical. Now we do the phone calls on the "big" days to friends and relatives.  Real communications instead of fake commercial crap.

I agree totally! 
We are in our 16th year of PT'ing. We organize our calendar differently than most people, I suppose, because it is arranged around "high-season, low-season, malaria season, rainy season, dry season, bird flu season, Chinese New Year, Balinese New Year, Buddha/Thai new year," etc. We don't include a "shopping season" in the mix! 

Back in the 'olden days,' when we first started, we and our families made huge attempts to continue celebrating the holidays no matter what country's borders separated us.  I can't tell you how many gifts were snatched at the custom's location on their way to us... (boooo).    The one's that arrived (YAY)    we had to physically carry thousands of miles by train, plane, boat, bus and taxi (booooo)    to get them back to the States.

Now, I shop all year 'round and in whatever country I am in, and bring presents when I arrive to visit. All presents are lightweight, small and preferably non-breakable (gems from Burma, weavings from Laos, silk robes from Thailand, etc.) We then celebrate any or all occasions I happened to have missed.

When I originally asked the question about how much a certain holiday costs us, I didn't mean just the current ones of Christmas and Hannukah. There is a holiday of one sort or another each month, (Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Mother's/Father's Day, the 4th, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Halloween - and some in between, including birthdays, graduations, anniversaries and baby showers) ... Not to mention the 'pay back' dinners or club and work related events...   

I admit, it might be a personality flaw, but I simply can't keep up with it all. I don't want a storeroom stuffed with paper shamrocks, santas, pumpkins and hearts. I can't party on each of these holidays and maintain my sanity. It is easier for me to admit that I am a (happy) aberration than to try and fit in. 

On the other hand, I am free to celebrate because it's Tuesday or a half-birthday. I give when there is genuine need, or when moved by my heart. I don't subscribe to calendar induced guilt, and I free you from the same!

Akaisha, (one happy wierdo)
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement
www.RetireEarlyLifestyle.com

 

[laurence]

Presents for my entire extended family, both DW and my side, are only given to kids/grandkids under 18. Along with that, we do get creative and give presents to "family units" (i.e. something they can all share). Where we spend a boatload is on the holiday party we host every year. This year we will probably hit 70 guests. We provide all food and drink, and everyone brings a wrapped gift for the game (cheap but fun). Total holiday spending probably gets close to $1,000. But worth every penny.

 

[Martha]

Eagle 43

There is a holiday of one sort or another each month, (Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Mother's/Father's Day, the 4th, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Halloween - and some in between, including birthdays, graduations, anniversaries and baby showers) ...

I could hardly believe how much haloween decorating I saw this year, with lights, and other assorted paraphernalia.

 

[Sheryl]

I could hardly believe how much haloween decorating I saw this year, with lights, and other assorted paraphernalia. 

To me this is just another part of the commercial culture that many Merkins are sucked into. The commercials and stores convince us that we have to do this crap. Only us free-thinkers and happy weirdos (good moniker, Akaisha!) see through the hype and put the $$ in the ER fund instead.

About 7-8 years ago I visited my brother and sister-in-law (now ex) in February. I went out shopping with her, and was stunned speechless when we stopped in at one of those Party Stores, where she dropped $75 on St. Patrick's Day decorations.

OMG!

 

[moretolife]

I think that the cost of having family around is worth it. I generally have both sides of the family for Thanksgiving. The cost includes food and drink for the weekend.

Spending money on holiday decorations is one of my splurges (not my husband's). And shopping for gifts is great fun. I teach at a university. After I turn in my final grades for the semester, I take the week before Christmas to shop, wrap gifts, etc. To me, it is worth it. (Of course, many of the gifts are practical in nature - like appliances for new apartment dwellers.)

 

[AltaRed]

Everyone makes their own personal choices, but I find such displays of consumerism bizarre behavior in the extreme. Whatever happened to simply getting together with family and food and some dvds and having a good time?

 

[Billy]

Laurence: 

We provide all food and drink, and everyone brings a wrapped gift for the game (cheap but fun).  Total holiday spending probably gets close to $1,000.  But worth every penny.

I understand, Laurence. I remember those days, and we did much of the same thing. When I was working insane hours and had lots of discretionary income it was fun and a stress release. When we changed focus, wanting to retire, we saw how much $$ we were spending on waitstaff, bartenders, food, drink and decorations... and chose differently.  8)  Certainly, I'm not putting you down for your choice. Memories are valuable.

OTOH, I am one of those who loves (inexpensive) party games like charades, pictionary, - anything to make fun of myself and appear a fool -- but only if I am surrounded by forgiving loved ones! 

Sheryl:

...and was stunned speechless when we stopped in at one of those Party Stores, where she dropped $75 on St. Patrick's Day decorations.

Yeah, this is what I am thinking about..  I know so many people who enjoy this bit of fun, and it's like a hobby to them. Hard to be too judgmental, when it is these people who keep the economy going, so those of us who are invested can live off the rise in the markets.. strange, huh?    A small bit of inner conflict registering here...    but they do have my gratitude... 

Martha:

...could hardly believe how much haloween decorating I saw this year, with lights, and other assorted paraphernalia. 

We saw on Bloomberg Finance news here in Cmai how Halloween is the #1 holiday in the amount of $$ spent for decoration 'stuff'. I was surprised, really, and thought the December holidays would have been more!

AltaRed:

Everyone makes their own personal choices, but I find such displays of consumerism bizarre behavior in the extreme.  Whatever happened to simply getting together with family and food and some dvds and having a good time?

I'm with ya there on that one...  See reference above to my willingness to display corny behavior.   

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement
www.RetireEarlyLifestyle.com