Khan
Gone but not forgotten
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2006
- Messages
- 6,924
I just keep thinking about grabbing my lower lip and pulling it over my forehead...
"Pushing a piano through a transom."
I just keep thinking about grabbing my lower lip and pulling it over my forehead...
One could make the same non-arguments for virtually any life-experience: e.g., mountain climbing, owning a Dalmation, learning to fly helicopters, living abroad, becoming an ordained minister, serving in the military, etc. etc. But none of those activities are right for all people."It's a joy you'll never know"
"You'll never think you are ready, you just have to do it"
"But you would be such a good mother!"
Perhaps. Or maybe you will retain your dreams and simply become frustrated, bitter, resentful and unhappy. I suspect that you are able to predict your own reaction rather better than other people are."Being able to do those other things will seem so unimportant once you have children."
This argument doesn't impress me at all. Perhaps it still holds true in some cultures, but in North America society the odds are high that one's adult children will move far away and/or be so busy in their own lives that they will have little time to spend with an aged parent."Don't you worry about being old and alone someday?"
Not sure how one anecdotal data point produces a trend here...So for all of you that do not want children how will you handle your parents when they turn into the children you never had ? My Mom was just here for a week and it was exactly like having a four year old again without the ability to call time outs .
So for all of you that do not want children how will you handle your parents when they turn into the children you never had ? My Mom was just here for a week and it was exactly like having a four year old again without the ability to call time outs .
Honestly, some people....(someone actually did tell me how lucky I was when my father died at 55 because "now you don't have to take care of him when he gets old").
Fortunately my parents passed away before my children were born (someone actually did tell me how lucky I was when my father died at 55 because "now you don't have to take care of him when he gets old").
Love and patience works for me. (then grinding my teeth in another room)So for all of you that do not want children how will you handle your parents when they turn into the children you never had ? My Mom was just here for a week and it was exactly like having a four year old again without the ability to call time outs .
Love and patience works for me. (then grinding my teeth in another room)
Sorry to hear of the difficulties with your Mom; but I am not sure that having children would make such situations any better.So for all of you that do not want children how will you handle your parents when they turn into the children you never had ? My Mom was just here for a week and it was exactly like having a four year old again without the ability to call time outs .
No one is lucky to lose their parents not matter what age they are . My Dad has been gone for thirty years and I still miss him .
So for all of you that do not want children how will you handle your parents when they turn into the children you never had ? My Mom was just here for a week and it was exactly like having a four year old again without the ability to call time outs .
Second - I read the following general observation somewhere. Young children live in the moment, teens through adults live in the future, and old people live in the past (although maybe for those with Aldzheimer's live in the present as well!!). From what I've seen, this seems to be generally true, maybe out of necessity. After all, if no one "lived in the future" there would be total chaos (no planning, no preparations, etc).
Third - I think sometimes we confuse enjoyment and living in the moment with emotional highs or ecstasy. Focusing too much on happiness will almost always produce the opposite. Just read a quote recently something to the effect that happiness is never found when it is the only goal in life. It almost always results from having a purpose in life - and pursuing that purpose. It's my belief that someone totally focused on themselves is miserable and lonely, and that won't change until the focus changes.
Just my observations - no data or research.
The best safeguard against loneliness is to be the sort of person that people (family, friends) enjoy spending time with. Merely having a child is no guarantee that one will never be old and alone: any more than getting married is.
The best safeguard against loneliness is to be the sort of person that people (family, friends) enjoy spending time with. Merely having a child is no guarantee that one will never be old and alone: any more than getting married is.
Great points!
The Founding Fathers were wise men, but they might have been wrong to list "pursuit of happiness" as one of the essential rights. I agree that if what is pursued is happiness itself, it's usually unachievable.
Me, too. My Mom died in 1976 and my Dad in 1982. I missed having them terribly all through my life and I still do. They were great people and I smile when I relive moments with them. Dad was great for all his "sayings", and I find myself saying some of the same things at times. They were wonderful role models. I feel that I fall short in so many ways when I compare myself to them.