Wedding gift disenchantment

[RunningBum]

Congrats on your marriage, btw. If that was announced in another thread, I missed it.

 

[jimbee]

I have two brothers that got married and it never even occurred to me to get them something...

Keeping it all in the family

Yeah, I don't think that's legal in most states.

 

[RetiredHappy]

We held an expensive banquet for my wedding decades ago. My sister gave me nothing and it did not bother me one bit. We are very close and because we are very close, she is more than just family to me and I guess that's why she did not give me anything. My brother and my sister-in-law gave me like a $50 gift but they were the kind of people who made alot of money one day and next to nothing the following day. My own manager, head of department, gave me nothing and that was a shock to me. She and her husband were multi-milionaire many times over because of his architecture business. Other guests gave varying amounts from $100 to $300 per guest or couple.

 

[tmm99]

Yeah, I don't think that's legal in most states.

 

[Sunset]

.......

....but I recall to this day, the out of range wedding gifts, both on the high side and the low side from our wedding in 1980. Not everyone thinks alike. I remember one extremely close friend gave us nothing. To this day I remember that fact.
....

I wonder if it merely got lost ?

We just got a letter and the person had our address but totally wrong zip code. The letter contained $300. I'm amazed it got here, as I had the same problem with an insurance policy and for 2 years it would never arrive, until they fixed the zip code.

Had the letter not arrived, we would have thought "She didn't send us anything".
She would think "Wow, I send them $300 and they don't even thank me".

Nether of use would ask the other anything, feeling it's a bit rude and this misunderstanding would go on forever.

 

[Scuba]

I like the idea of using the sibling’s gift to go enjoy a meal out, take a photo and send it to your sibling with a gracious thank you note. Take the high road.

This thread makes me wonder if others perceive us as stingy. I hope not. We aren’t showy big spenders but we are better off financially than many of our close friends, both those still working and those who are retired. We don’t give lavish gifts, partly because we have always had a LBYM lifestyle and partly because we don’t want others to feel obligated to ramp up their spending on us because we give them expensive gifts.

 

[Sojourner]

Thanks to all who took the time to share constructive, thoughtful, and (above all) kind feedback and suggestions. A special thanks to ExFlyBoy5 and Ivinsfan for their PMs. I believe, at this point, I've gotten all that I can from this thread... a lot of good, some bad, some quite ugly and hurtful. In any case, I've been given a lot to think about and have gained some new insights and perspective.

 

[RetiredAndLovingIt]

A quick clip from How I Met Your Mother over a wedding gift misunderstanding.