Annoying MegaCorp people !!!!!

[fruitful]

No more flip flops!

As a corollary to the Drummer, how about the Clopper? Usually a petite woman wearing flip-flops, and you can hear her coming a mile away. Alas, if you make a comment off the cuff that nothing should make that much noise unless it's pulling an Anheuser-Busch beer wagon, it gets you a trip to HR

Stop it; you are too funny! I've been away from megacorp for 19 days. When I left I could recognize each of my colleagues by the sound of his/her walk/stomp.

 

[ncbill]

Entrepreneurial Ernie

At my first job, we all dressed in slacks & sports shirts except when meeting with clients.

But Ernie, fresh out of an Ivy League school, wore a suit every day.

And was usually was out of the office for lunch.

Finally, one of his supervisors found Ernie's client invoices at the printer...

 

[target2019]

Dave the Drunk

Dave was a key player at megacorp, which was surprising to many. He managed to destroy a few (at least) military industrial relationships along the way, while maintaining his status and power. Very gruff, and un-polished, he was seen asleep in his fishbowl office many times. Head back and snoring, you may find him captured in all his glory in numerous cell phone pictures. Mementos and awards aplenty, on all of the walls, asleep at the wheel. Or maybe it was the helm.

Dave also shuffled very slowly up and down through the aisles of the cubicle farm he created for his minions. As he slowly paused behind you, just out of sight, he would survey what may have changed in your cubicle. If he saw something he did not agree with, it might even disappear. The young ladies called him "Creeper".

He was tossed out of megacorp after a very long stint. Fortunately he is still "in the game", helping the contracting process along, and warming hearts wherever he creeps.

 

[MRG]

The sweet clueless leader.

Nicest person ever, actually in a team lead position and well liked, until she tried doing something.

One day a client had issues on their production system. She properly identified a row in an important table that contained invalid data. Wanting to get the client working quickly she went to an SQL prompt and typed in "Delete * from dbName/tableName", she ment to tab forward to enter the Where clause. Instead she pressed enter, deleting all the customers important data from the system!

A buddy went to help her. She was naturally panicking and kept asking him for status of when he would have the data back. He finally suggested it would be back sooner if "he could focus on the task at hand. Because this is a production system and I might screw something up."
I don't think she really understood what he meant.

 

[Chuckanut]

Carol the Coffee Murderer

Carol arrives early to the office every day. At least 45 minutes to an hour before everybody else. She does not drink coffee, but as a 'favor' to those who do, upon arriving for work, she immediately makes a couple of pots of coffee which then stew on the burner plate for an hour or so, getting more disgusting in both flavor and odor with every minute. By the time most people arrive, thus stuff is horrible and often poured down the drain and remade. Of course, Carol, who does not contribute $$ to the coffee pool, just keeps on feeling good about her helpful habit.

 

[robnplunder]

Janitor Wannabe - We had an engineer who took cans out of company provided recycling bins before she went home. She collected them in a large garbage bin bag. She did it for about two weeks before she was "stopped." Many of us couldn't stomach the sight of her doing that given that she's probably making well over 6 figures (our megacorp was in Silicon Valley) and the company janitors who take those cans to supplement their income are making about 1/5th of what she makes.

 

[Rusty]

Clinking Carol. Has to have morning breakfast, afternoon lunch, and several in-between snacks in a glass bowl with a metal spoon. Said metal spoon slammed into the glass repeatedly, several times a day, as if it were her daily cardio workout.

 

[iloveyoga]

LOL, you are not making me miss my downtown office job!!

 

[Amethyst]

I sincerely hope we don't need an "Annoying CCRC People" thread one day. It would be too awful to have left the frying pan of annoying Others behind, only to be confronted with a whole new set.

 

[W2R]

I sincerely hope we don't need an "Annoying CCRC People" thread one day. It would be too awful to have left the frying pan of annoying Others behind, only to be confronted with a whole new set.

Whenever we *have* to be around the same people every day, there are going to be some that annoy us (IMO). So yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. This is one of the reasons why I am hoping to retire in place, so that I can get enough solitude. But we also need some people in our lives so it's a fine balance. I don't know nearly enough about it yet.

 

[golfnut]

Worked with a guy who took two 30-40 minute bathroom breaks everyday. Brought a paperback book with him. It was like clockwork - one break around 10 and another around 3.

 

[travelover]

Worked with a guy who took two 30-40 minute bathroom breaks everyday. Brought a paperback book with him. It was like clockwork - one break around 10 and another around 3.

Have a little empathy! Have you never been constipated?

 

[W2R]

Have a little empathy! Have you never been constipated?

But every single day? Could it be? How awful. I'd give him a large container of "Senior Tang" (Metamucil) for Christmas.

 

[albireo13]

Prunes, my friend ... prunes

 

[Redbugdave]

Veteran Vernan. A retired NCO, (usually), that has very little real job skills, and gets even less real work done. This old War Bird spends his time at work cornering victims with endless boring war stories from the ship, airbase, or field about he saved the world. Always spotted with a cup of black coffee in hand and never in a hurry.

 

[CaptTom]

Today I printed a couple of pages and then forgot about them for an hour or so. It reminded me of how that would have gone if I was still at MegaCorp. It brought back a flood of printer/copier room hijinks:

Better Than You Betty: Monopolizes the printer most of the day, printing off thousands of copies for that important executive meeting. No-one dares point out that most of the executives won't show up, and the ones who do won't read any of the hand-outs. Discards 90% of the pile into the recycling bin the next day.

Busy Bobby: Doesn't have time to stop by the printer during his long-running job to make sure there's enough paper, and no jams.

Gretchen the Grabber: Rushes in to the printer room, grabs everything in the output tray then disappears with everyone else's output.

Clueless Clyde: Fumbles helplessly around the copier, pushing buttons and opening panels, hoping someone will come by and show him how to make a photocopy.

Special Sally: Selects an odd paper size, then doesn't come to the printer for an hour. All other print jobs are held up while the display is flashing "insert xx size paper."

Tree-killer Tristan: Doesn't know it's possible to print double sided. Prints piles of thick meeting hand-outs one-sided.

 

[golfnut]

But every single day? Could it be? How awful. I'd give him a large container of "Senior Tang" (Metamucil) for Christmas.

He got alot of reading done on Company time. We doubted he was making full use of the toilet if you get what I mean.

 

[braumeister]

Don't know if I've seen this one here; she used to drive me crazy.

Paper Mail Mabel
She doesn't understand the concept behind email, and won't read it in electronic form. Instead, she prints every single email (single sided of course) every morning, even the ones that just say "OK". Then files each one in a folder. From time to time she needs another new file cabinet, because nothing is ever discarded.

 

[GalaxyBoy]

Today I printed a couple of pages and then forgot about them for an hour or so. It reminded me of how that would have gone if I was still at MegaCorp.

My workbuddy sat next to the printer where there was always a pile of unclaimed papers. One day Anal-Retentive Partner walked by, saw the stack, panicked, handed it to my buddy and demanded, "Make sure all of these get to the people who printed them!" Of course, my friend learned to empty the tray out every night from then on.

 

[MRG]

The Supply Queen:

Is annoyed by the floor needing office supplies so she's now in charge of supply hours. You know 250 programmer types are really worried about the couple of hours weekly we're allowed to get a pen, pads, staples...

I was told I should be more responsible with my pens(I asked for one outside of supply hour) and other supplies. Kinda funny because the code we worked on managed trillions of dollars. Sure am glad she wasn't in charge of that.

 

[Amethyst]

Def gonna see him again at the CCRC....

Veteran Vernan. A retired NCO, (usually), that has very little real job skills, and gets even less real work done. This old War Bird spends his time at work cornering victims with endless boring war stories from the ship, airbase, or field about he saved the world. Always spotted with a cup of black coffee in hand and never in a hurry.

 

[Amethyst]

A year or so before retiring, I worked with an older, over-promoted clerical who could manage to open and read email, but never learned to cut-and-paste. I would email input to her, and then come over to her desk to find her re-typing my input! "Oh, I just like doing it this way." Yeah, and now I see why my input ends up with spelling errors, too.

Don't know if I've seen this one here; she used to drive me crazy.

Paper Mail Mabel
She doesn't understand the concept behind email, and won't read it in electronic form. Instead, she prints every single email (single sided of course) every morning, even the ones that just say "OK". Then files each one in a folder. From time to time she needs another new file cabinet, because nothing is ever discarded.

 

[MOSAT]

I've been ER for only 10 weeks and I'm getting a blast out of this post. I can spot half of the people I w*rked with here. Many had multiple personalities. The Mocher/Clock watcher were one person.

I submit:
Early Morning Elmer - he had been a long time employee, more than 40 years for the same Megacop. 15 minutes after arriving would fold his newspaper under his arm and head for the men's room. 30 - 40 minutes later would come back. When asked once, shortly before he retired, what he would miss most about his j*b, his reply was "getting paid to take a cr*p".

He was a truly likable guy and other than this one idiosyncrasy was great to w*rk with.

 

[CaptTom]

Paper Mail Mabel
She doesn't understand the concept behind email, and won't read it in electronic form. Instead, she prints every single email...

...I worked with an older, over-promoted clerical who could manage to open and read email, but never learned to cut-and-paste...

Good ones! We could probably go on and on about e-mail.

One-line Wanda: Sends a reply asking a question that was answered in the second sentence of your original e-mail.

We could start a whole thread on improper "reply to all's" and other addressing issues.

But here's my favorite: When MegaCorp bought our division from another MegaCorp, they needed all our (1200+) computer user accounts, to enter into their system. I called to say I'd e-mail them right over, and asked what format they'd prefer.

"Just print them out and overnight them to me. I've got a team scheduled to work all weekend to type them in."

That was the first time I had to teach them how to do their jobs. It was by no means the last. Sort of like a long-range babysitter.

 

[braumeister]

But here's my favorite: When MegaCorp bought our division from another MegaCorp, they needed all our (1200+) computer user accounts, to enter into their system. I called to say I'd e-mail them right over, and asked what format they'd prefer.

"Just print them out and overnight them to me. I've got a team scheduled to work all weekend to type them in."

I think you may have the first prize winner there!

Reminds me of when I was a project manager for a custom HR software system. There was a small fix needed to squash a bug, and it required about one minute of hands-on time at the server. All the other customer locations were happy to let me walk them through it over the phone, but the manager in California wanted me to do it personally. I was in Ohio, and I tried hard to convince him about what a no-brainer it was but he insisted, and he wanted it done immediately.

So I got on a plane the next morning and flew to California. Rented a car and drove to the nearby town. It was too late to get to the factory so I got a room at a hotel. Showed up at the location next morning and was met by the manager with a very smug grin on his face because he got his way. I went to the server and under his watchful eye spent the required minute (maybe less) making the fix. Took the redeye back home. At $140 an hour for my time (this was 25 years ago) plus all the last minute airfare, rental car and hotel costs, he spent a young fortune so he didn't have to do it himself.

A few months later I had the chance to talk with his corporate VP and was asked how the project was going. Had to bite my tongue almost in half.