Any Funny Stories about Relatives You Can Share?

[FinanceDude]

Here's mine. My grandfather had a farm in southwestern Wisconsin near the Mississippi. He had a little fishing boat that was my grandmother's pride and joy. One nice summer day we went fishing in the afternoon. We found a spot near the dam near where a bunch of barges were tied up to an island. We caught a few fish and then grandpa wanted to move on to a new spot. I was 8 years old at the time.

We started to move downstream when this gigantic houseboat approached. Grandpa kept looking up at the boat for some reason. Finally, I looked up too, and there was a young woman sunbathing with her TOP OFF on the front bow of the boat. I tried to ask my gandpa a question but he told me to keep quiet.

Suddenly I noticed we were heading for the barges, since my grandpa was distracted watching the woman, and the motor was still running. I yelled at him that we were going to hit the barge, but he swung away too late and we hit it pretty hard, and put a big dent in it........

After grandpa found out I was ok, he swore me to secrecy NOT to tell grandma how it happened. Since I was afraid of him, that was pretty easy to do.........

 

[Moemg]

My Dad's sister never married so she never really knew what gifts to give kids . Every Christmas we would go there and my Aunt would give each of us new pajamas and a card with money in . Well the card would have either a $20 or $50 bill and a note saying buy a book . This was in the early 60's when $20 or $50 was a lot of money especially to a little kid . She later got a little confused and would send sympathy card for Birthdays and Congratulations cards for funerals . She would still send the cards to buy a book but there was either no money or a lot of money in them .

 

[rescueme]

After grandpa found out I was ok, he swore me to secrecy NOT to tell grandma how it happened. Since I was afraid of him, that was pretty easy to do.........

Twin hull design?

 

[RonBoyd]

Suddenly I noticed we were heading for the barges, since my grandpa was distracted watching the woman, and the motor was still running. I yelled at him that we were going to hit the barge, but he swung away too late and we hit it pretty hard, and put a big dent in it.........

So where the funny part? That seems as natural as breathing... could have happened to anyone. (Well, 50% of anyones.) Poor grandpa. I rather envy him the opportunity to [-]create[/-] enjoy such excitement.

 

[hguyw]

One of my dearly departed aunts was terrified of thunderstorms. If a storm happened to come up about the time dinner was ready, rather than delay dinner, she made everyone wrap their silverware handles in paper towels while eating, so they wouldn't get zapped.

 

[bbbamI]

The funniest story would have to be about my mom and I and our first trip to Las Vegas. It was 1987 and we flew to Las Vegas on a Thursday afternoon (we hardly got any sleep the night before). We were awe struck by Vegas and threw our luggage in the room and off to the casino we went.

At first when we started playing the slot machines, we didn't find it too thrilling. But, we agreed since we were there we decided to make the best of it. Heh...the slot machines became a lot of fun...

During this time we....

Kept getting lost in the casino. We stayed at the Sands (may it RIP).

Got tipsy on a few occasions.

When the poker machine said "Game Over", we said "It ain't over til I say it's over" at least 100 times.

Sat at the machines until we felt like our bladders would burst, then make a bee line for the restroom.

Kept losing our money (no, not in the machines). We placed our gambling money in our bras and would always check the wrong side. For a few seconds there was panic.

One of us would be tired while the other was ready to rock and roll...thus causing one of us to drag the other around.

Mom jumping up in bed one night yelling "Jackpot!" when someone was using the ice machine down the hall.

Me hitting a jackpot on the nickel slots. I won 2000 nickels and they came flying out of the machine bouncing off me, my mom, my chair, the carpet and ricocheting off the people standing in line to get to the buffet. (in the old days, money actually came out instead of a ticket)

Laughed so hard at Denny's, the manager was concerned and checked on us.

After about six hours of sleep in four days, we arrived home. We were exhausted, bruised and our ankles were swollen...but, boy did we have a great time!

 

[Keim]

Dad had just spent several days making a large (about 2' long) model of a battleship, complete with a working motor. It was beautiful. Sure to become his pride and joy.

He decided to take me along to the pond to "test its seaworthiness." Being rural Montana, I grab a .22 for some target practice.

Dad and I walk to the pond. Picture Andy and Opie walking down the road at the beginning of the Andy Griffith Show, whistling and all. Change the fishing gear for a .22 and you'll have a pretty accurate image in your mind.

Dad sets the boat in the water and everything goes well for about 30 seconds. The boat catches a snag about 4' out in the water. "Looks like you'll need to go get your waterproof boots and recover your boat dad."

Dad smiles. "No, I won't son. Hand me your gun. I'll shoot the snag." He takes careful aim at the snag and somehow manages to hit the boat dead center. The boat sinks like a rock.

Kind of sad in a way, with all the work he had done. But watching his face sink as the boat sank was priceless. Dads reputation as a marksman was also sunk.