My Friends are Dying!

[Teacher Terry]

I really thought that happened to much older people. I have lost 5 friends in their 60’s to cancer. All lived active, healthy lifestyles. My friend died today after finding out he had stage 4 spine cancer after no longer being able to do karate despite being a black belt. He is dead 40 days later. It’s so depressing.

 

[audreyh1]

It’s rough. My mother was in her early 60s when she died of cancer. And it’s a bit freaky because I’m approaching that age now!

 

[aja8888]

I really thought that happened to much older people. I have lost 5 friends in their 60’s to cancer. All lived active, healthy lifestyles. My friend died today after finding out he had stage 4 spine cancer after no longer being able to do karate despite being a black belt. He is dead 40 days later. It’s so depressing.

Sorry to hear about your friend. Yes, death should happen later. I am 76 and have buried a daughter (@22), my sister (@55), my ex wife ( @65, I was still close to her), two very close friends in CT (2 years ago), and my parents years ago.

I also lost a close friend here in Texas 3 years ago because of a motorcycle accident.

 

[Nemo2]

My late wife never made 55.

 

[Teacher Terry]

Aja, the worst thing is to bury a child. My friend that died leaves behind a mom and a sister that lost her 19 years old daughter.

 

[rodi]

I feel your distress TeacherTerry. Mom died of cancer in 2002. My dad and brother had both survived previous cancers to be struck down within months of each other with completely different cancers in fall 2007. My brother was only 48. Cancer sucks.

That said my personal family cancer cluster was an impetus to retire early and live life while I can, because there are no guarantees we'll live forever.

It also sucks to learn of friends dying. It seems they come in clusters. Yesterday I got a facebook notification that an old friend had a birthday. On his facebook page I read that he'd died in December 2019. And further reading found that his old boyfriend (who I was also close to when we were in our 20's) had also passed. It was like a body blow even though I had obviously fallen out of touch with them.

I'm sorry for your losses, TeacherTerry.

 

[aja8888]

Aja, the worst thing is to bury a child. My friend that died leaves behind a mom and a sister that lost her 19 years old daughter.

That was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life and I have not lived an easy one. Ever since then, though, I am pretty numb when I lose a friend or other close person, if you know what I mean.

None of this dying stuff is easy and it's all in our future.

 

[Elbata]

It's almost hard to believe the avg age of death is the 80s for women and close to that for men. Lots of the kids I've gone to school with are long gone. Same with my wife. Seems like people are dropping like flys.

 

[street]

It is unreal the the friends and people I know that have pass on in early 60's and late 50's.

 

[Souschef]

My condolences to all of you. I lost my wife to cancer at age 68. When her mother died some years earlier, we went through her mom's address book and every name was crossed off.

At age 89, she had lost all her friends and all her family.

 

[Sunset]

Just today, my Dad over 90 was telling me everyone he knew is dead.
Then he asks me if we have our arrangements made

 

[Teacher Terry]

Thanks everyone. My best friends daughter at 19 was the hardest. She had a rare liver disease at 18 and despite a transplant was dead within 24 hours. Most of my family died of cancer but were older.

 

[skipro33]

Me too; lost 5 recently. Youngest was 59, the oldest 78. All I can say is to be there for them and their family once they've passed on. God Bless!

 

[davismills]

On a lighter note... My 94-year-old FIL has been through the assisted living experience and is now in a nursing home.

He's very sharp and is worried about his finances. He asked my DW about this subject and how long he could afford his nursing home costs. She replied that he had enough money to last him until age 102. His reply was priceless. "My God that's only 8 years".

His attitude is very uplifting to me! Keep on the sunny side.

 

[Dtail]

On a lighter note... My 94-year-old FIL has been through the assisted living experience and is now in a nursing home.

He's very sharp and is worried about his finances. He asked my DW about this subject and how long he could afford his nursing home costs. She replied that he had enough money to last him until age 102. His reply was priceless. "My God that's only 8 years".

His attitude is very uplifting to me! Keep on the sunny side.

Nice post.
Stay positive Teacher Terry.

 

[Midpack]

We’ve known three women friends, one DW’s best friend, who died from breast cancer very young. Horrible. We will all lose loved ones early, but there will be others who will outlast us for some perspective. Of our four parents, three lived to 88, 93 and 96 - it’s not all bad news?

 

[Amethyst]

In my view, dying is better than some of the old-age alternatives to which I've been exposed.

 

[Nemo2]

In my view, dying is better than some of the old-age alternatives to which I've been exposed.

I'd substitute many for some.

 

[Rianne]

Death is hardest for the living. So permanent a loss. I still have my memories of those friends and family I've lost. I"m glad for those. Moments of laughter and sharing, good times and celebrations. I try to think of those times. Death inevitable and I hope when I go, the loved ones I leave behind will remember the good times.

 

[Fermion]

I really thought that happened to much older people. I have lost 5 friends in their 60’s to cancer. All lived active, healthy lifestyles. My friend died today after finding out he had stage 4 spine cancer after no longer being able to do karate despite being a black belt. He is dead 40 days later. It’s so depressing.

That is pretty horrible but if I do have to go to cancer, I think I would rather it be relatively quick like that rather than 2 years of agony.

Still sucks though. As advanced as we think we are as humans, we still can't control dinky little cells and viruses.

 

[PatrickA5]

Teacher Terry, very sorry for your recent losses.

Yes, cancer sucks. My mom died two days after her biopsy - didn't even make it to her first oncologist appointment. It was probably for the best though.

 

[PatrickA5]

On a lighter note... My 94-year-old FIL has been through the assisted living experience and is now in a nursing home.

He's very sharp and is worried about his finances. He asked my DW about this subject and how long he could afford his nursing home costs. She replied that he had enough money to last him until age 102. His reply was priceless. "My God that's only 8 years".

His attitude is very uplifting to me! Keep on the sunny side.

Have a similar story about my dad. He was 90 when he had a pacemaker placed. He asked how long the battery lasted - 14 years. He then made the cardiologist find out for him how much the battery replacement surgery would cost.

 

[audreyh1]

Teacher Terry, very sorry for your recent losses.

Yes, cancer sucks. My mom died two days after her biopsy - didn't even make it to her first oncologist appointment. It was probably for the best though.

But so quick there is no time to get any affairs in order at all!

It’s a tough call. DM lasted about 15 months after late stage diagnosis with bleak outlook, but it was not a pleasant time, and they even dealt with a cross country move due to my DF’s retirement in the middle of it all! It was crazy.

Tough to say what is worse.....

 

[justlikebike]

Let this be an eye opener to those people stuck in OMY. Adding another year of work does not add another year to your life, it brings you one year closer to death. Go enjoy the now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

 

[Chuckanut]

I am sorry for your losses. There's no good way to understand it.

About a decade ago, I went through a 5 year period when friends and family seemed to be dropping every few months. Three family members and numerous friends past away from all sorts of ailments. I remember walking down the street and thinking that at some point some unknown ailment would come out of nowhere and strike me down.

FWIW, this unhappy chain of events was a major force in my decision to retire early.

Thankfully, for me and my remaining friends and family, the statistical quirk came to an end. But, it is sorrowful and scary. All I can say is take good care of yourself and Keep On Keeping On.